


The First-Born Scam

by WiFiH0o



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, And I'm backkkk!!! Yeeeeee, But my history is shit so isn't accurate, But only Xiaotang is relevant, Child!Gahyeon, Drug Abuse, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Holy crap I'm back??, Homophobia, I'm probably going back to lurking again, Internalized Homophobia, Lol I'm sorry I went MIA, QCYN2 Girls are mentioned, Sexual Assault, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, Teen!Gahyeon, The Opium Wars, Timeskip, Torture, but only some parts, can't skip them because a lot of development happens in them, dadong, how could i forget - Freeform, it's coming soon!, maybe smut, oh crap, ok nevermind there's quite a lot of erotica, where's the angst?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 48,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23421508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiFiH0o/pseuds/WiFiH0o
Summary: Handong is a witch who is desperate for a first-born. She finds a couple willing to sign theirs away, but in her haste, she misses the fine print and realises too late she shares custody of the child with someone else.
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 118
Kudos: 226





	1. It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> It was meant to be a long one-shot, then it grew to a humongous size and whelp, I'm struggling to figure out how to break it into chapters and also writing the rest of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is all I write DaDong?   
> Mayhaps  
> Don't kill me but I don't know if Nannan is male or female

It was nearly her time.

Human ethics and laws aside, the thought of violating someone like that was still unpleasant to her. The idea of experimenting with someone and putting them through the same horrors she went through was off putting and made her stomach roll and clench and seize. 

It was too nauseatingly familiar.

With a deep sigh, she grabbed onto a blanket and curled into a ball, orange hair sticking onto her lips. It was soon. Too soon. But there were no more options or luxuries of just kidnapping a prisoner or desperate people willing to sign a vague contract. Technology was too advanced nowadays. And people were too aware and too not superstitious enough.

It was her last resort.

She had made up her mind. With a few strides to her desk, and an expensive fountain pen in hand, she began signing the contract – and as old as it was, it was quite well kept.

She rolled it up and double checked that both pieces of papers had the same signature, date and contractors. One to keep and one to send. 

Two potions were slipped into a black box. The newest and neatest contract and the box were then placed in a translucent sturdy plastic bag. Perfect.

With a black ribbon, she neatly and efficiently tied a bow on hers and called for Nannan. The grey cat jumped onto the desk, ready to receive its orders. 

Off it went, her “package” kept securely in his mouth before he melted into the shadows and travelled through the network of magic portals and chambers. It was always nerve wracking. The way the darkness seemed to reach out and beckon for her precious Nannan and the little mew of assurance he did before entering the wormhole never calmed her down until Handong was able to see him hop out of the table’s shadow and curl up in her armchair again.

The deed had been done.

.  
.  
.

Midnight. That was the time the contract stated for her to arrive by.

Isolated from civilisation was a small building. That must be the one. After all, Nannan was walking quite unafraid towards it with no sign of hesitation.

She tightened the grip on her neatly tied contract. It was time. Her suffering had to end, and this was where it would start to. Handong checked her phone, 11:57. Perfect. The house was about two or three minutes away from her, give or take, and she would arrive just on time; not that it mattered of course, these timings were always a formality, no one stuck to it, it was more ‘I will definitely have left the vicinity four hours ago’ than a ‘you have to be at the instructed place at the given time’.

Entering the room, she could see a cot, with a small piece of paper on it and the new-born.

Ah, the first-born. Her side of the contract was fulfilled.

Before she was able to take a step closer to the baby, a column of light burst from the ground. When it died down enough for Handong to not be blinded, she could see a clearly defined circle burned into the carpet of the floor before a wave of hot pressurised air threw her off balance. She checked her phone, 11:59. There was no way that the couple were stupid enough to pull off anything sketchy, especially with Handong’s strength and previous… experiences. 

12:00.

A wall of flames burst from the engraved circle. Heat encroached every corner of the room. The ground seemed to have erupted and glowing rocks had taken residence on the already scorched carpet.

Strangely, despite the fire dying down and the brimstone glowing a more subtle amber, the temperature of the room refused to decrease. There were no pre-drawn rituals, no candles, no demonic books.

Just an alluring lady. Wearing a red suit and with short faded purple hair.

Handong looked her up and down.

Pretty. She was pretty yet at the same time handsome.

“What the - What are you doing here?”

“I – I could say the same about you. No one’s supposed to know about this area.”

She crossed her arms, not immediately satisfied with her answer, “State your business.”

“I’m here to collect my end of deal,” Handong gestured towards the cot, catching a glimpse of disapproval in the stranger's eyes, “The first-born. I’m here to get the first-born.”

The woman took two steps closer to Handong, a definite heat and intimidation radiating off her person, “That can’t be. I signed a contract to keep the first-born of its parents,” with a flick of her fingers, she summoned a pristine parchment with loose, loopy handwriting, “Look, there’s the signature and all.”

Handong took three steps closer, closing the gap between them quickly and making sure to eye her down whilst doing so.

“I. I also have a contract with their parents,” neatly rolled in one hand was her old treasured wavier tied by a black ribbon. She unravelled the fabric to reveal the same signature and loose loopy handwriting and a contract in the same layout and written almost word for word.

“Oh.” She replied. “I-”

“This is awkward,” Handong cut off. 

Her acknowledgement of the awkwardness had only made it increase further.

Before Handong could realise that she had cut the stranger off, she began again, “I gave them eternal beauty and health. What did you do?”

“Wealth and power.”

Another poignant silence.

The woman in the red suit cracked her knuckles and stuck her tongue out. With a flick of her hands, a giant column of flames burst out of her palms, its vermillion tails danced and licked the air until it died to reveal an intricately embellished long sword. She wrapped her hands around its handle.

The demon raised her arms. Wait. Wait. No!

With a scream and a flick of Handong’s wand, she slammed the would-be murderer against the wall. The clang of the sword hitting the floorboards echoed slightly around the room before it burst into flames and disappeared into thin air.

Handong tip toed closer to her, “What do you think you’re doing?”

The short haired woman raised herself, “I’m killing it of course.”

A scoff. Did she really think she would let her do that so easily when Handong’s next decade long project was right there?

“I’m not letting you do that.”

“I’m not letting you not let me go back to Hell.”

“Give me one good reason I should let you do that!”

“If that thing is anything like those people I contracted with, it’s going to make the same mistakes its parents did. I’m sparing the kid before it gets the chance to sin. Also, I don’t plan on spending my entire life here.” She huffed.

Oh shit. Does she need to stay here until it died? There was no way she’d like Handong’s experiment.

“I need it. I need an apprentice. You know, for witchy stuff.” Was that convincing enough? “Because I’m a witch.” Oh God, she really needed to get out and socialise more, pets don’t count socialising, do they?

“This is going nowhere.” The mysterious woman relieved a long sigh before combing her fingers through her hair. “Let’s forget about our first meeting.” The demon held her hand out, “I’m Yubin. Lee Yubin.”

Handong stared at the hand that was once clutching arms in anger. She warily reached out and shook, “Nice to meet you Yubin. I’m Handong.”

-Yubin’s hand was soft and warm and tender. And her fingers were so long. And so thin. And so delicate. And so pretty.

“Wow, do you want me to keep shaking your hand then?”

-Oh.

-Can she read minds?

“Only when I’m touching you.”

Handong quickly ended the handshake.

She sighed in relief. Good, then she doesn’t know.

“I’m lying.”

Shit.

Yubin broke out into a low chuckle. “I’m kidding. I’m limited to only via physical contact here.”

Handong cautiously backed her way to the cot, keeping a close watch on Yubin. Satisfied with how the demon had yet to move, she turned around to peer over at the baby. It was quite cute, it had wide eyes and its lips seemed to be in a permanent pout, which some might arguably say was adorable.

“Don’t say you find that cute.”

Handong looked back to glare at Yubin’s statement, only to not see her.

She turned around. Yubin had a hand on her chin and an arm resting on the cot.

Handong jumped at her sudden appearance, undoubtedly her supernatural powers.

Yubin leaned in to get a better look at the baby, when she was close enough, the baby pulled on her hair, causing a high-pitched yelp to escape her mouth. With caution, she coaxed the strands of hair out of the baby’s hands. Tugging on its tiny fingers, trying not to harm it.

“This is why I don’t involve myself with procreation – before or even way after.” Yubin said while massaging her scalp.

Handong could only cackle in response to what happened. She lowered an arm towards the recently born child and cooed at it. The baby lifted a hand and gently wrapped its fingers around her pinky finger. It brought the hand closer to its body and it smiled contently.

“Now that’s just unfair.”

“It can sense your hatred. Stop being so mean to humans just for existing.”

Yubin scoffed and picked up a post-it note that was sloppily tacked onto the inside of the cot, “Easy for you to say, you haven’t had to see the things these creatures are capable of committing. And their terrible contracts too. They act like I’m a genie half the time they summon me.” An eyeroll.

How cute.

“’Her name is Gahyeon.” She read, “Please take good care of her. Despite us abandoning her, we still love her, <3 your favourite couple’,” scrunching the paper in her hand, she set it on fire, “If they weren’t going to Hell because of their contract with me, this would be the next reason.”

Handong pulled her finger out of Gahyeon’s reach.

“Having second thoughts?” Questioned the demon.

“I thought demons were supposed to be the smart-talking sweet-talking elusive guys. You’re so bad at your job.” Handong took a step back and crouched on the floor, head hung low. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was meant to get the kid and bugger off into her home and start her experiment. With how little people were willing to sacrifice their children – hell, anyone no matter their age – like this now a days, it was the perfect opportunity. Apparently too perfect.

Yubin prodded Handong with her foot, “C’mon, I’m sure we can work something out of this.”

Handong looked up at her, there was a sad smile playing on her Yubin’s lips. She lowered herself to Handong’s level, “How badly do you want this kid?”

“A lot.”

Yubin reached out to hold Handong’s chin and tilted her head towards her, “Would you like my help?”

Yubin searched for words beneath the pools of darkness inside Handong’s eyes.

-Would she? She doesn’t exactly need it, but yes, an assistant would be nice, it’ll be more useful to have someone with a more versatile and broader knowledge in fields of magic and a powerful demon at her side as she experiments, that meant finishing it off sooner. It meant the world and a half to complete her research, it meant that she would have to stop terrorising nearby wanderers, it meant that she would be able to live reclusively and not bother anyone, it meant that people didn’t have to suffer due to her selfish reasons, and all in the suffering of just one child. One new-born. This was perfect then, her goal would be complete, she’d be able to rest in peace. She only needed one, she only needed this one favour, she only needed a decade or so.

-Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yubin broke off contact.

Yubin shook the thoughts out of her; she could still hear Handong’s thoughts of ‘yes’, ‘maybe’, ‘finish my experiment’ permeate through her brain and it was difficult to know when Handong’s thoughts ended and when her own started.

Handong reached out to Yubin, who was clutching her head in her hands, “I didn’t – I didn’t realise that my overthinking would be processed that way. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. But it’s safe to assume that you do want me to stay. Right?”

A sharp haughty laugh erupted from Handong’s lips. “Of course – of course I do! You heard me, right?”

“Loud and clear.” Said Yubin, and muttering under her breath, “A bit too loud and clear.”

Handong took a step closer to Yubin, worry washing over her face, “Just to make sure, this doesn’t count as a contract, right?”

“No. Contracts – my contracts – can really only be made one after the another, until one expires." Yubin turned around to face Handong, and just as she did so, Handong's face dropped into a cold unreadable gaze, "So, if I wanted to see you in Hell, I’d just have to do it the old-fashioned way.”

“Which is?”

She tapped her nose, “Trade secrets. It’ll ruin the surprise for you when you die.”

Handong swallowed. Oh. If only she knew.

Yubin changed the topic, “What are we going to do now?”

“’We’? I thought you were just going to leave to do devil-y stuff.”

“Sure, we're a 'we'. We’re basically its new parents, no?”

Yubin began humming a tune quietly as she circled the cot with Gahyeon in it, a vulture readying its descent onto its newly found prey. Lightly, with the graze of her finger, she left a sort of branding on Gahyeon’s pure skin. It glowed deep reds and oranges before dying down into a small circle with a signature in it. 

Handong squinted at the barely legible handwriting, 'Da – Da – Dami? I swear I’ve heard of that before,’ contemplated Handong.

“How about we keep it in your house or apartment. Or wherever you live. Seeing as I’m basically a homeless and jobless human now. Then we’ll see how it goes. Seem fair?” Once again, Yubin stuck her hand out for a handshake.

“Sure.” This time, Handong shook with courage.


	2. You Got A Friend In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong may be a witch, but she is the one being bewitched nowadays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Density = Mass/Volume

It was pitch black. Not even the moon had decided to peak its hazy head into the night sky, nor the stars twinkle brighter.

A house that would be too small for a family but too large for a single person stood tall, nearly isolated from the rest of the city, located at the edge of the woods. It looked abandoned and desolate, the solemn wind blew past it, breathing in and out as it seeped through its open windows.

It was dark and cold.

Even the woods and the animals inhabiting them seemed asleep.

Until a loud wail tore down the peace of the area.

Handong’s eyebrows twitched at the sudden sound. She lifted her head off the pillow and then dropped it again, covering her ears with the duvet. Whatever was making that sound, probably the neighbours, was very annoying. It continued, somehow even louder than before. In her head, Handong cursed the existence of other human beings, she wished she was alone.

Except she was alone, and she didn’t have any neighbours. Oh no. It was the baby.

Crap. She was so bad at this parenting thing; she should have been more prepared than just buying the essentials. Truly, she had never felt more dumbstruck and blind than when dealing with children.

Peace and quiet. Then again it cried. Too tired, she resorted to the next best thing to shutting that baby up. No, wait, she was the next best thing. She began resorting to the best thing and option and quite obviously the better “parent”: Yubin.

Her legs seemed to move by itself and dragged the top half of her body off her comfy blanket cove.

Handong softly banged her fists at the bedroom adjacent to hers, “Can you get it?”

She heard through the door the sliding of fabric and an exaggerated huff, “I always have to get it. You’re the one that wanted to keep it alive.”

The crying continued, getting progressively louder as the baby was left further unattended. 

Handong banged her head against the door, sick and tired of her sleep being interrupted, it wasn’t as if Yubin needed to sleep. It seemed that all she did was feed Gahyeon and hole herself in her room reading books, occasionally cooking food, but that was it. “I’ll do it tomorrow if you do it now.” Feeling regret swirl in her head as soon as she said it 

“Fine.” A footstep. Then nothing. It was safe to say that she had already arrived at Gahyeon’s room, judging by the creaking sound of wood coming from the room down the hallway, which for some inexplicable reason, was larger than hers. Talk about privileged children. 

Yubin teleported into the room of the screaming baby hushing it, assuring its safety.

The baby lowered its crying in response to Yubin’s soft voice, but its wide eyes still threatened to leak more, however.

“Shh. Shh. It’s okay. You’re safe now.” She wrapped an arm around its neck, another across its small body, holding it close to her chest, wincing at how loud its screaming was when she grazed its skin with hers. There, she hugged it, cradled it, hushed it. 

“Please don’t think we’d ever abandon you. It’s okay. Everything’s alright.”

The crying died down, Yubin began patting it's back and bouncing up and down with it.

“What am I doing? The Devil would have me sent to Purgatory if she ever heard me do this.”

Handong raised her head from the white door, a dull ache on her forehead. The wailing had quietened significantly, and a soft tune was heard through the troughs of Gahyeon’s crying. It was like a music-box's llullaby - except Handong doubted that that was the case. Regardless, she meandered lazily through the carpeted floor, passing the looming stairs and opened the door.

Handong peered into the room, eyes fixated on the small shape of the demon’s silhouette, and ears keenly acute to the final note of the lullaby, “That was nice.”

“Great. Now I’m hearing Gahyeonnie talk too. May she have mercy on me when I return to Hell.”

With light sleepy footsteps, she approached the demon and promptly smacked the back of Yubin’s head, hard, “Yu fool. It was me.”

“Ow.” Yubin rubbed the back of her recently smacked head.

“You can’t even recognise my voice? Your own partner’s voice?”

She turned her head around towards the source of her pain, one eyebrow raised and the other pressing down in confusion, “We’re partners?”

“Well.” Handong broke off their eye contact, embarrassment catching up to her when she understood the connotations of what she said. “Well – I. No, no we’re not.”

They both mentally sighed and stayed in silence. Yubin lowered Gahyeon back into her cot, kissing her forehead before leaving, “I’ll go get some milk.” She stated, to neither Gahyeon nor Handong.

Shit. Shit, Shit. She had not meant to say that out loud. At least not the second half. Curse her stupid sleep deprived state. Was this karma for forcing Yubin to put Gahyeon back to sleep all the time, because if so, she’d rather die of embarrassment, which she was.

She’d rather die, she corrected.

Yubin pressed on Handong’s cheek, she pulled the finger back, ready to poke her again.

Handong froze, feeling another poke on her cheek. What was she doing, what was she doing? Another poke. Handong swivelled around to return the favour. She squished Yubin’s cheeks together, then let go. 

Honey brown eyes made eye contact with hers. For a second, it felt as thought the world had gotten brighter. Until Handong realised it was because her eyes were dilating.

And with the copious amount of light entering her pupil, she saw every contour of Yubin's face and she saw every detail on her rings and she saw a glint of satisfaction in her smile.

Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush, don't blush. The corners of Handong's lips jerked up slightly. A burning heat crept up her neck.  
There was no saving her.

So, she bolted out of the room.

Yubin looked at Gahyeon in confusion, warming the milk bottle in her hand via magic, "Did I do something wrong?"

.  
.  
.

Handong faced the ceiling. There was a wide smile on her face and an empty brain in her head. The scene and feeling of Yubin's hand touching her. Her soft skin and constantly warm body. Argh. She couldn't stop replaying it. Why? 

Again. It played again. Why was she so happy? Her brain mapped out Yubin’s face, her wide eyes, her perfect skin. Concentrating, she followed the lines of Yubin’s pout and the way her cheeks squished so softly when she frowned. A buzzing had settled in her stomach and she was sure she was getting butterflies too. 

Oh. She remembered this feeling quickly. She had caught feelings.

It made sense. No wonder she was acting so strange around her. 

Wait. No.

Okay. Handong knew she was into women but, no way. In a week? She caught feelings in a week? That’s too fast. That was ridiculous. And there was no telling that she would even reciprocate her feelings, or if demons could even have romantic feelings. 

Less than a week to develop a crush. That was absolutely ridiculous.

And a demon? Of all people. At least if all things go wrong, she’ll still see her beautiful face in Hell passing by - whilst being tortured. Or maybe she’ll even be tortured by her. That would be a cruel twist of fate. But if that happened, at least she’d see her for eternity. Or maybe it would be the Hell that was depicted in Dante’s Inferno, with the nine circles and everything. Then which circle would she fall into? That could be a new conversation starter. Take a mental note.

Handong lifted herself off her bed, eyeing her phone. She needed to rant.

Thank the stars that she had enough sense to sleep in a separate room to her. As if getting around her stupid skin-ship induced telepathy wasn’t hard enough, imagine how difficult it’d be if she slept in the same bed as her. Her warm body just out of reach from her and her groggy voice in the morning and her fin-

Nope. Nope. Not today. 

Sliding her formerly disregarded phone off her desk, she sent a quick 'Help! I think I might have...... Caught feelings.' And waited. And waited. And waited.

She took a deep breath in. How she wished she didn't leave Yoohyeon right now. Because this definitely wouldn't be happening if she didn't.

Until about 8 minutes later she heard a ringtone. That must have been her. Damn extrovert.

But of course, she still answered.

"Hello? Sorry, I was playing on Miramar – You know how long those matches take."

"Yea," Replied Handong, "You know that you don't have to call me, right?"

A stifled giggle. "I know, but it's funny. And texting is so boring, my thumbs aren't good at typing."

"Then practice! You're not even that old. You should be good at this." A hand tapped around for earphones on the desk and then pulled when she found them before turning into the middle of her bed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, we need to get back on track. You caught feelings huh? Thought I'd never see the day."

Handong cringed and clenched onto the edge of the duvet. She knew she'd eventually had to talk about it, after all, it was the reason that she texted her. But it seemed to be too soon. 

"Hello? Are you still there?"

She sighed wistfully, "Yes."

"Damn, I've never heard you sigh so... So lovingly? Who is it anyway?"

A furtive glance at her surroundings. No one there, as always. Handong covered herself in her duvet and blanket, placing the phone in the middle of the bed and slipping the earphones into her ears and into the head jack.

"It's," she started to whisper, "It's this woman."

"WOW!" She recoiled at the loud sound, "that's helpful."

"Shut up. You didn't let me finish," Handong took a deep breath in, "This demon woman called Yubin who also happened to contract with the couple I did, and we're both kind of the couple's child's parents now."

Yoohyeon whistled at the abridged retelling of Handong's situation. "Damn. So, do you like share the kid on each week or..."

"I umm..."

"Oh shit. Don't tell me -"

"Yup." She popped the 'p', "She's living with me. And the baby."

She heard an audible facepalm through the phone. And then footsteps and a tumble.

"Ow." Whined Yoohyeon, who had, Handong assumed, just fallen over, "So, why do you like her?"

Dear lord how she could go on and on and on about this woman. Every single minute detail she did was recorded and etched into her brain, filed deep into her memories for her to play again in the back of her head as she did mundane tasks or to sleep with.

"Hell-o?"

"Hmm?"

"I was asking a question."

She could feel her face burn with heat, the fact that she was enclosed in her blankets didn't help. "She's so..." Charming and charismatic and handsome and pretty and smart and caring and thoughtful and reassuring.

"You didn't say anything." Yoohyeon deadpanned. "You're so whipped."

"Shut up."

"So, are you going to go for it, or are you going to get over her?"

"I - I want to... I don't know."

"You don't even know what to do? Psh. I need to tell this to the coven. 'Handong and Yubin sitting in a tree. K-I' -"

Handong hung up the phone before she could finish her childish mockery.

She released herself from under her cave of blankets and took in the stale fresh air. Damn. She hated herself so much. 

Did she want to confess? Or just let her crush fizzle out? She'd think on this later.

Silence rang in her ears and then the world faded to black.


	3. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong doesn't know how to process her feelings and Yubin is... Where is she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter update will be in 3 days? Maybe 2 if I finish the draft for chapter 7 today. Enjoy! Feel free to criticise the weird 3rd person narrative I have going on.

‘She’d think on this later.’

Later apparently was a very long time away. Handong excused herself for this, she needed to think about icebreakers and body language and personality types.

And what she needed most was time alone.

Thus, began her long game of avoiding Yubin at any possible point in the day. At first, it was subtle, she couldn’t just drop her like a hot potato, now could she. 

Small exchanges of 'morning', 'did you eat well?', 'how's Gahyeon?' and 'good night', died down in the following first days. Gradually, she conversed to her less and less often – not that they talked with each other often anyway: with Yubin always occupied with a new book or coddling Gahyeon; and Handong just generally being so abrupt and aloof with her answers. Some days, she'd even speak to Nannan more than to Yubin.  
Until slowly but surely, Yubin had given up the uphill battle of getting to know Handong and they just communicated through short nods and curt smiles. A part of Handong wanted to wallow in self-pity at how willingly Yubin seemed to drop courtesy and small talk so quickly too when Handong began doing so.

So much for improving her socialising skills.

All in all, it wasn't too hard for Handong, maybe mentally, yes, but what's a new change in her already poor sleeping cycle?

Every morning without fail, she'd: wake up at 3 o'clock; check up on Gahyeon; eat breakfast; make lunch; go to her basement laboratory; eat her lunch in the lab; stay in her lab; do everything she possibly could in her lab; go to her room and sleep. Occasionally, she would stay in the living room for an extra few minute or so, doting Nannan and stroking him until he had enough and grumbled into the shadows out of spite. Even that had stopped in due time when Yubin caught her sprawled on the floor attempting to teach Nannan how to high five her.  
Alas, she would need some form of income soon again though, with the additional hundred thousand or so of won that she received from the couple slowly being drained from her bank account. That meant getting a fake ID and documents. Too much work for her. Although complaining about it around the house about it didn’t seem like too much work for her.

In conclusion, it wasn't any different from her normal every day to day life. 

Except, of course, everything was done 5 hours in advanced. And she had a baby to take care of and a demon to avoid.

It felt almost traitorous to Yubin, just leaving her to take care of Gahyeon all the time except in the early mornings and late nights. She felt guilty for being so selfish, and she didn’t even explain why she was doing it. Handong wouldn’t even be surprised if Yubin began to dislike her for her lack of effort put into parenting their child; at this point she probably did, with the side glares that she always sent her way when they encountered each other. 

That felt weird to say. ‘Their child’, how peculiar.

Something about the kid didn’t sit right with her either. Handong was sure she was missing something important that she said she needed to do when preparing to receive Gahyeon before she was blindsided by her sticky situation.

But if that something about Gahyeon was so important, she clearly would have remembered by now. No?

Everything was going swimmingly; until a week into her schedule, she noticed Yubin had all but vanished from her house. Not a word. Not a peep. Not even a note or a letter.

Handong took a deep breath. 

It's okay, that was okay. She had no reason to stay in her house, she wasn't in a relationship with her, she wasn't meant to humour her, she wasn't obligated to take care of the baby - especially since she wanted to kill it in the first place. But it still irked part of her of course, not just the part that yearned to be near Yubin’s side every second of the day that she carelessly shoved in the back of her mind.

Handong was sure she would come back soon anyway. So, she fed Gahyeon in peace and paid extra attention to her that day. After all, something told her that Yubin wouldn't be there to take care of the baby if she ever did venture to the lab. With a few bites of her sandwich and a sloppily written observation, she fell asleep with the wooden cot as a pillow.

She woke up with a cramped neck and shivering body. Worst of all, a crying Gahyeon. 

For some reason, motherly instincts were not naturally occurring for her. Heck, even Yubin had more maternal bones in her body than Handong. 

She'd try. Imitating what Yubin did, only to give up at her resounding failure and type out on WikiHow 'how to comfort a baby?'.

Gahyeon had been fed 7 times and put to sleep 4 and still no sign of Yubin. It had to have been 2 to 3 days by now. How could she have just vanished without a trace? That stupid devilish lady, leaving her all alone. At least Handong had the decency to look after Gahyeon and Nannan whenever she possibly could. But she'd be angry at her later. Right now, she was focusing on disinfecting the kitchen surfaces and sterilising the water and the bottle feeders and washing her hands with the proper NHS 20 second guide.

The 30-minute timer went off. It wasn't below 75°C, good, that meant the water was ready - at least according to the internet it was. 

She felt a pang of guilt when she realised just how much Yubin went through to give Gahyeon milk, or to look after in general. That was another conversation starter, if she ever could ever screw her courage in place and be brave enough to talk with her again. After she gave her a stern talking to about ditching her for so long, of course.

After the whole milk fiasco, and then the burping one, and then the diaper one. Handong was able to slide into her bed without the gnawing feeling of anxiety and inadequacy congregating in her brain. Her research could wait, she had a baby to ensure to not kill due to negligence and outright stupidity.

It was on her fourth morning of doing this she realised she could just enchant the utensils to do everything automatically. She did so, nodded off, and awoke to a fine-tuned and perfectly made bottle of formula milk levitating above her head. A wicked grin smacked on her face, perfect. This was a revelation she absolutely needed to tell Yubin about, forget about the nine circles of Hell or her appreciation monologue or scolding the far older woman.

.  
.  
.

Okay. It had been six days. That meant 144 hours without seeing Yubin once. 2,304 seconds without a peep of faded purple hair wandering about her house. At this point, she was reconsidering her list of her icebreakers and instead skipping straight to chastising her. For it had been much too long. With a huff, Handong set out to search for the missing woman, which she ought to have done before, but was too occupied by her lack of babysitting skills to bother with. 

Yubin could have been in the garden taking an extremely long nap for all she knew.

"Yubin?"

She could feel herself blush from just uttering that name from her lips. Now was definitely not the time for trivial emotions. 

"Yubin?"

No answer.

She checked Gahyeon's room. The bugging feeling of forgetting something again annoying her. Gahyeon was sleeping soundly with a panda plush tucked under her arms and a larger older fox teddy being positioned so that it was enveloping her in a hug, just as she had left her. Both items purchased (or stolen?) by Yubin. That Yubin was so adorable. Oh, right. Yubin. Where was she?

Handong searched her whole house, even the basement, which she knew Yubin would never be able to enter, before she settled in front of Yubin's bedroom. She hovered around the door, her mind throwing 'what if’s and 'just go’s and 'you should respect her privacy’s back and forth. Her hand hovered above the handle; she had never felt so much dread entering the spare bedroom than she had before; not even when she had learned of his presence being near her. Again, she paced back and forth, until she pushed all of her thoughts to the back of her head and asked herself.

'If this were someone else, what would she do?'

And so, the obvious answer was open the door.

No answer. Not that she had expected Yubin to be awake at 3 in the morning. Not that she even knew what time she woke up at because she had avoided her for so long.

Crap. Panic began accumulating at the pit of her stomach. If this were Yoohyeon or anyone else from the coven, what would she do? What if she was just asleep? What person sleeps in for 6 days? But if she was, she'd be able to hear her breathing through the ajar door.

Could she hear breathing? There was no breathing.

She allowed herself to panic. Okay. Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out. Don't panic.

Handong pushed the door and took a step in. A viscous jelly like substance seemed to fill the room, but when she completely entered, it felt normal?

She breathed in the strange air. It was good, offputtingly so.

Yubin's room was tidy. The bed was made. Bookshelf filled. Desk neatly arranged. Opened letters stacked safely on it. Closet largely untouched. The harrowing sunless sky filled the place with an icy blue light and the curtains were drawn wide open and the windows shut.

And to her disappointment and worry, no Yubin.

Where on Earth was she?

Subconsciously, Handong took a few steps closer to the queen-sized bed in the corner of the room. She kneeled down at the edge, crossing her arms and resting her chin on them.

Where was she? 

Was it silly to say that she missed her? Despite never having interacted with her past a few formal greetings and their first encounter. Or was that the hopeless romantic in her that longed for her spontaneous crush to like her back. Damn her brain. Stupid feelings, she wished that that stupid man had rid of her emotions the same way he had rid of her humanity and naivety.

Why can't she just be friends with someone. No hard feelings. Literally.

She leaned her head closer to the duvet and closed her eyes. It smelled like her. Sweet and flowery and fuzzy. Maybe it was the yellow accented theme in the room, but she felt a wave of happiness and drowsiness wash over. Honey. It reminded her of honey. Such comfort. So thick. So laden.

Her eyelids shut. It wasn't like Yubin would come back soon anyway. She wasn't even going to take a nap, just a few minutes of shut eye. And then she drifted off, off, off. Sleeping soundly.


	4. Not So like a Drunkard as like a Tipsy Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yubin's room is enchanted, Handong reacts weirdly to it.
> 
> And as an important lesson for everyone today, everything should be in context.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW  
> Mild internalised homophobia :'(
> 
> Don't worry guys there is an actual plot and we do finally get to see Yubin

Something felt different. The sound of birds chirping filled her ears. Consciousness flooded her body and the awareness that she was alive slowly came to her fuzzy head. She was awake? That meant that she had fallen asleep.

The black empty void felt woozy, it was a thin pliable liquid that was diffusing into a warm brown with spots of ivory and pink and dark chocolate. It was a hazy cloud of darkness that was disintegrating slowly. Dissolving into a humanoid shaped. The pink in the air moved.

"Hey." 

She felt a soft shake. Or maybe that was her eyelids fluttering. Another one. No, this was definitely someone shaking her.

"Hey."

Her eyes opened to see a familiar face with unfamiliar hair. Brown? Bangs?

She stared at it, too tired to hide the goofy smile starting on her face. It was Yubin. Handong missed seeing that darn handsome face.

Something in the air of the room had made her forget the resentment she was harbouring and her emotions and memories were a foggy wasteland of nothing but the present.

She burst out into a laugh. It was too soft and too warm and too close and too perfect and too soon. Sluggishly, Handong picked up her hand and felt long locks of chestnut-brown hair "I like your new hair.”  
Her laughter picked up again at Yubin's flinch when she uttered those words.  
“You look adorable." 

Yubin pulled her hair back from Handong's prying hands and eyes, playing with the strands that Handong held, "You don't have to lie."

'Why would I ever lie to you,' thought Handong. Instead, she hummed in compliance, marvelling at the pinkish hue Yubin's cheeks had adopted, and rested her head back on the bed. A light ringing echoed around her body. She felt different.

Yubin snapped her fingers loud enough to stop Handong from dozing off again. "I enchanted my room so anyone that's mortal would die."  
Yubin gripped onto Handong's arm and tugged, for the first time, she didn’t have a burning heat radiating from her person, "Let's get you out of here."

"It's so warm though."

Yubin stopped attempting to heave Handong out of her bed. Warm? It was everything but warm. Does she have a death wish? She let go of Handong.

"You're not dying?"

Handong could only turn around and face the ceiling, too comfortable to raise her head to meet Yubin's stern eyes.

"You're not human."

"Ha - " She let out as she draped an arm across her forehead. Another smile, this time, sad and melancholy, pulled on her lips. As chocolate is a poison to dogs and not people, the spell was a poison to humans. And Handong was not a human - anymore.

She was enjoying every intoxicating breath of the sweet alluring sensation it was exuding. The pleasant feeling of home and how the room seems to embrace her in a loving longing hug. 

Handong teetered as she got up on her legs. When she was fully up, she flopped onto the middle of the bed, jostling the folded blankets and duvet. 

Yubin walked closer to the drunk-like Handong, "What are you doing?"

"Let's," Handong faced Yubin, another stupid grin forming on her face.  
"Let's talk. We haven't done that in yeeaaars." She slurred out. Yubin didn’t know what to do, on one hand, she had been feeling lonely and – to be quite honest – abandoned by Handong lately. Yubin had even resorted to writing letters as her ‘go to’ form of communication to her friends and boss.  
"What are you pulling that face for? C'mon." Handong gestured for Yubin to share the bed with her hand, her index and middle finger curling seductively in the air.

Yubin's face scrunched up in ridicule. Despite the clear judgement on her face, she heeded her command. If she humoured her, then maybe she’d be able to pry some actual answers to her behaviour out of her.

She took her shoes and blazer off and carefully laid herself next to Handong, who was fiddling with the duvet near the corner of the room.

Yubin peered at the struggling witch, "Do you need help?"

"No." A pause. More failed attempts at unfolding the duvet.

"Yes."

Yubin reached over Handong, a warmth starting to emerge from her body and calming Handong down. She pulled on one edge of it, successfully unravelling it in one go and covering both of them.

"That was so cool. You're so cool. I want to be your friend."

As Yubin retreated back to her side of the bed, Handong felt an emptiness on her side: the glow of compassion from Yubin. With cold hands, she brushed her hand down Yubin's arm. 

She retracted her hand from Yubin when she saw confusion pour into her face.  
"I forgot about the whole skin touching mind reading thingy." 

"You're so weird." Contemplated Yubin, who was facing the ceiling, avoiding the icy glares that Handong was shooting.

Handong barked out a small chuckle, still conspicuously staring at Yubin, "Thanks."

"You think too much."

"It's better than not thinking."

Yubin finally turned to face Handong. Blinking quickly at how much Handong was gawking at her. The witch seemed to be in an agreeable and amiable mood today; an unintended by-product of the spell (or more fittingly, curse) that was put onto her room. So, hiding her aggression she began.  
"Why were you ignoring me?"

Handong fixed her eyes onto Yubin's. Dark. They were really dark. Were they always this dark? Where were her pupils? Or maybe they were really dilated? Doesn't that mean that she's attracted to you. Wait no. The room was just dark.

Handong giggled, reaching out, she swiped a thumb right underneath her bottom lip..

In that slight contact, she felt a barrage of 'cute', 'adorable', 'how can someone be so pretty', 'so cute'. And before she could interrogate Handong further, or Handong had even registered the fact that she asked her something, the witch had fallen asleep. 

A deeper seed of irritation planted itself into Yubin.

Dang it. 

.  
.  
.

It was around three hours into Handong's slumber and snoring that she stirred again, flipping her body away from Yubin and then back, slightly closer than last time. This was the umpteenth time she had unconsciously shifted closer to Yubin. Frustratingly, she kept fidgeting in her sleep and had even begun to snore.

It was... Uncomfortable, to say the least, for the newly reformed demon. Alas, there was no space left on the bed to distance herself from Handong; unless she was willing to roll off the bed - which she wasn't. 

Handong shuffled closer to Yubin again. 

Yubin recoiled at the feeling of Handong's arm flopping onto her person.  
It wasn't just Handong in general she was wary of, but also her invasive powers, which seemed to never turn off in her human form. 

Handong turned to cuddle her face onto Yubin's shoulder, using her other arm to cling onto Yubin’s bare arm for dear life. Yubin's heartbeat raised; she jutted her arm off the bed just enough so that Handong wasn’t touching her skin. If it weren't for her caution around invading Handong's privacy, then she might have found that quite endearing. Sickeningly sweet, with how she had first glimpsed Handong genuinely smile. If she could, Yubin thought she was about to get diabetes. Two weeks and only now had she seen her genuinely smile.  
Right. Handong wasn’t exactly fond of her. And after her being so rude to her for the past couple of days, it had only been right for Yubin to return the favour.

Yubin sneaked a look at Handong. That content smile was still on her face. The growing irritation in Yubin stopped. She lowered her arm and threw her caution to the wind, letting a sliver of Handong’s finger graze her own arm.

When she was asleep, Handong's thoughts died down, leaving a soft melody playing in her head with wisps of enchanting lyrics and words and spells; never quite prominent or loud enough to be heard and understood by the demon. It was peaceful. And nice. She wished Handong was always like this, without her icy walls and frozen glares. She was just a soft ball of... Frigid happiness that needed to be thawed out first.

Was it her? 

Did Yubin overstep Handong's boundaries? 

Handong’s flopped arm clasped, her hand grabbing Yubin's shirt. She dragged the fistful of fabric closer to herself. Luckily, the shirt Yubin was wearing was large and oversized, so it didn't compromise her.

What did however was the hand that was lying just under her heart.

It was uneasy.

Like at any moment Handong could snap awake and just bore a hole through her body and twist and grip and -

Yubin took a sharp inhale. Not now. She let her breathe go. Rather, she focused on Handong and her mind and her thoughts, melting into the pool of seamlessly tied together music and rhymes and incantations and ballads - most of which she didn't recognise because she hadn't been on earth in a few centuries.

The music stopped.

-I want a boyfriend.

It was faint. And something about that statement made Yubin's gut twist. It knotted further when she heard it again.  
Bubbles arose in her stomach, it churned harder and rose up her oesophagus. Her throat seized and her mouth went dry. That was odd. Why was her body doing that? Was that a normal human reaction?

The hand laying on her chest clenched. 

-Why is it so hard to be normal?

Yubin regretted ever thinking that even in rest Handong would not be thinking.

-I want to live peacefully. I want to fall in love with a man and get married and have his kids and grow old and die and not deal with any of this supernatural bullshit I’m in.

Handong's hand pulled down to Yubin’s sides and clawed through her shirt.

-Why did I have to be like this? Why can't I be fucking normal? Life's already hard enough, why make it more difficult!

Sharp long nails dug through her shirt and into her skin. They punctured further and further and pulled down and down. Yubin shot up, breaking herself away from Handong's vice grip.

She threw her mass of a body as far away from Handong as possible, stumbling into her bookshelf.

A numb sensation grew at her waist. She peered down. Stains. Red. Blood. She was bleeding. Because of Handong. She, a demon, with unimaginable strength and resistance to almost anything on earth, was bleeding.  
It stung the longer she stared at her wound. Her body felt heavy and numbed.

She heard a whine from the corner of her room. Oh. Handong was awake now.

Yubin looked down again, wishing that when she did, she'd see her shirt, unstained, unmarred, untouched. 

Blotches of red still on her previously pristine white shirt. Large holes where unnatural nails pierced it. And bleeding. She was bleeding. A saturated, glowing, bright red blood.

"Yu-"

She looked up, wide-eyed, making eye contact with a concerned Handong.

"Yubin?"

She took a step back, using her hands along the edge of the table as a guide to walk closer to the door.

"Did I do that?" 

Handong's icy stare melted, a speck of apprehension buried deep within her soul. Eyebrows just a hint closer together than they were normally and a slight frown pulling on one side of her face.

"It's fine." Feigned Yubin. It was - in fact - not fine. 

"But, you're bleeding."

"No." 

Yubin ran out of her room and into Gahyeon's room.

That was a bad idea. It was obviously untrue. 'No.'? What kind of a response was that? Dang it. That was so stupid of her. What kind of social fallacy did she just do? Stupid. Stupid. She could have just said nothing. Anything but 'No.'  
‘No.’ That was how she chose to end their conversation - if you could even count it as a conversation.

And Handong. Her face. Her voice. She had never seen her so vulnerable and sad and open. 

She really messed up. She couldn't even go back to Hell. She had no other place to stay and her human form needed to nourish itself - however pathetic she thought it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I am not just pulling on your leg, I have a shit ton of Freytag's pyramids planned for this fic... Everything is happening so slowly because I need to flesh out the characters and even I didn't think it would take so long


	5. Plucking Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong reveals some of her origin stories and Yubin is still frustrated at her passive-aggressiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, I will update tomorrow too because I'm running out of memory on my files

Yubin glanced over to Gahyeon's sleeping form, a content smile on her face. Gahyeon was cuddling, she was cuddling, the stuffed toy that she got from her own office. This kid was going to be the bane of her existence, but she couldn’t bring herself to hate her; not after all the time she spent fawning over her, looking after her, talking to her.  
A knock on the door. Her smile dropped. Handong never knocked. But who else could it have been?

A succinct rapt.

Yubin kept her voice low and collected, "Come in."

The door creaked open. 

She just didn’t need to think about it. Handong had nothing to do with and she was sure she didn’t do it on purpose.

Swaying her weight from heel to toe, Handong stood attentive to Yubin, clearly very anxious, and holding a conical flask looking object in one hand and only what Yubin could assume was some sort of med kit or first aid in the other.

"I -" Handong gulped, her eyes trailed from her hand - that was clasping the crystalline bottle - to the floor and then settled on Yubin’s arm, which was guarding the injuries she caused. "I have a potion for situations like this."

She took a step forward. Too close, too close after what she'd done. Yubin raised the hand that was hovering centimetres above the cuts, "It's fine. Really Handong. I can recover finely."

Handong approached calmly still, not understanding why Yubin was being so very difficult, "But this is a human-ish body.” By now, she was half a metre in front of her.  
“And it's definitely not just a scratch. Trust me."

The demon staggered, though she tried not to show it. Despite her trauma, she let Handong crouch near her, nonetheless. Yubin bit on her lip, picking on a bit of dead skin which caused it to bleed slightly. 

Handong kneeled in front of Yubin’s waist, facing her cuts directly. She inspected the damage, looking at it from various angles to see how deep they were and approximating how much of the potion she needed to use.  
Once again, she had neglected the socialising aspect of it all and only when she breathed out a bit too hard and made Yubin flinch did she remember that she was dealing with a living creature. 

"There's venom laced in my claws." Casually spoke Handong. She pulled out forceps and, with it, a cotton ball.

"Claws?"

The glass lid of the potion was popped open and placed gently on the floor.

"Yea, it's a long story. They come out from time to time. Usually when I'm panicked."

Handong tilted the bottle into the cotton ball, a satisfying glug happening when it fell forwards. It glugged again when Handong was content with how saturated the ball was and leaned it backwards. Replacing the lid on the potion and setting it aside with a quick floating spell, she began her work.

Yubin hummed in curiosity, "We have time."

Squinting her eyes, Handong dabbed the cotton onto the numbed scratches. A strange dry dampness came unto Yubin's skin, it must have been magic - there was nothing natural about what was happening.

"I was injected with a serum. He needed it to produce permanent claws for a customer - no, a whole market of sycophants. But it made this monster." 

Yubin flinched when she felt the dull buzzing on her cuts turn into electrifying stings.

There was a harsh resentment and bitterness laced into the words Handong had practically spat out. Something so jarringly juxtaposed by her earlier signs of sensitivity and tenderness.

"It started with lycanthropy. Then a hint of wolfsbane. With a dash of basilisk venom. It didn't react very well. Not with his impatient and ignorant personality. He didn't listen to me." She pressed hard onto the deepest wound, making Yubin hiss.  
"He never did."

Yubin bore holes into Handong, staring at her as if her life depended on it. Not knowing whether she should stop her from carrying on; or let her continue to get to know her better; or encourage her with some words of empathy. In the end, she opted to stay silent.

"I got myself to stabilise in the end." Her lips were pursed in concentration, or hatred. Yubin couldn't tell. She leaned in to inspect her handy work.

Yubin held her breath in anticipation. There was nothing happening to her injuries. Did it not work on her part-demon, part-human body? 

Handong licked the longest incision. A shiver ran up her spine and her abs tensed at the sudden wetness and heat.

"What are you doing."

Again, she licked. Repeatedly until all five scrapes were done. A dizziness ran to her head, whether it was her or the potion or the venom, she couldn’t quite separate. Satisfied, Handong gathered her supplies and hummed a short tune. 

It was familiar.

Oh, it was from when she was sleeping.

A lime green substance congregated on her skin and coagulated, forming puddles of... Venom? Which was promptly siphoned out, leaving a floating glob of emerald liquid floating in the air as if gravity didn’t exist . Yubin's body felt lighter, and brighter and for some reason, more sensitive and buzzed with a sort of pins and needles sensation.

A scab quickly formed over the wound. 

Followed by the dulling of its vermilion red colour.

Finally, skin replaced the platelets and left just a sliver of crimson where the deepest cut had failed to be healed completely by the potion and spell.  
Yubin's mouth was agape. Magic really had evolved from its humble beginnings of starting fires and fertilising plants. At least from what she'd remembered.

She wondered if Handong could have made her work load the past few days a bit easier to handle. 

It was part of Yubin's responsibility though, and she wanted to shoulder it alone. It was only common sense to lighten the burden of having a child. After all, Handong was the one to pay for all of the clothes, food, water, electricity, housing, diapers, cot, blankets, toys, and not to mention her own living expenses plus Yubin. So, it just made sense, no?

The thought that she had disappeared not because of the massive task at hand instead, out of spite of Handong’s disregarding of her flew past her head.

Just as she was about to ask Handong her unanswered question from last time, Handong had beat her to the punch.

"Why did you disappear for days?"

Handong's eyes shot to Yubin's. They had lost their previous mischief and lucidness. A dark soberness clouding them. She had fully stood up and although she was just 2cm taller than her, it felt as if she was towering over her with the way that Handong was lowering her gaze and looking at her as if she was beneath her; an imperfection-less mask of coolness and nonchalant-ness placed over scalding pain and anguish. 

She couldn't see a spot of turmoil in her poker face or relaxed body posture; but her eyes seemed to reflect it keenly, scrutinizing every movement and twitch and change in not only Yubin’s body, but her face and voice and breathing.

An icy atmosphere froze over the room.

Scary. 

Yubin never thought that Handong could have the capacity to be scary, but something was indicating that this was barely surface level anger. And she did not want to go deeper; least she ends up dead. There was no point in lying. "I went to pull some strings." With a flick of her fingers, a folder of paper appeared flat on her palm.  
"It has all her legal documents. And ours."

A momentary shock split Handong’s cold expression. A kind of eureka moment, as if she had just remembered something important. The micro-expression didn’t last very long.

Handong backtracked for a bit, to before she remembered what she had forgotten. She squinted and her eyebrows knit just a smidge closer together. "'Ours'?"

"I made you 25 years old. I'm 24." Yubin handed over the forged birth certificate: having time, hospital, blood type, vaccines and parents' information on it. All false of course and obviously, in perfectly normal Chinese characters. That was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the reality-bending powers of Yubin.

Handong nodded as her eyes scanned over the legal document. It seemed real, and was even worn around in the corners and was fraying on the edges to give the impression of age and usage, "Why us too?"

So many questions. Couldn’t she just trust her? A part of Yubin felt undermined by how unreliable Handong thought she was. She trusted Handong after all. 

"We need a job." 'I need a job' thought Yubin, "And to keep Gahyeon. Or she’ll end up in the foster system."

"Then, how did we get Gahyeon?” Handong tilted her head to the side and squinted, a frown forming on her face as she poked more holes in the fabrication of their legal existence further.  
“Fostering? Adopting? And what's our status? Siblings? Friends? Or -"

Yubin cut her off, "We're married." 

Dumbfounded, all Handong could do was shut her eyelids and then open them slowly, "Married?” She repeated, “It-it's not even legal here."

A stabbing sort of feeling went through Yubin’s heart, a strange disappointment being felt as she saw a look of discomfort on Handong’s face, "Oh.”  
Yubin continued though, trying not to sound too affected by the sudden change of Handong’s mood.  
“I had the documents made forei-"

"Why are we married?" Another pang of disappointment. Her heart twisted, skipping what felt was like several beats, and then fell heavy to the bottom of her stomach.

"It makes the adoption of Gahyeon more... Appealing? To the modern world. More acceptable." Why was she hesitating? She had meticulously planned all of this out in the two days (kind of) that she was away. “It-”

"But it's gay. It'll never be acceptable.” Handong looked down, “Not here." 

Yubin was about to go into cardiac arrest with her onslaught interruptions and her frank disgust at the idea of even being pretend partners. Irked at how Handong just wasn’t working with what she was giving her. Meekly, she squeaked out, “My boss advised me to.”

Handong paused at the mention of a boss, this was exactly why she didn’t want Handong to pry further. The witch didn’t reply further, which prompted Yubin to fill in the judgemental silence with rambling, “She said that it would make human life easier if people thought I wasn’t available. But I don’t understa-”

“You don’t?”

“It’s because you’re so –” Handong cut herself off, looking caught off guard at what she had nearly said. “Never mind.”

“I’m so what?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

She began walking away, presumedly to get back to her work in the laboratory, leaving an exasperated Yubin in her wake. There were still so many questions left to ask and none of her previous ones had been answered satisfactorily. Handong had been so infuriatingly uncooperative, especially considering she had roped Yubin into this thing in the first place.  
Something about their conversation had driven Yubin to be bolder and braver than she had ever thought she was capable of becoming. A sort of anger burst through her veins and she let it take control of her, not thinking about consequences or privacy or even what she had earlier ruled out.

Yubin grabbed Handong’s wrist. 

They were cold, fitting for her demeanour. 

-Shit. Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think, don’t think.

Yubin’s eyes darkened. “Finish your sentence.”

Handong tried to pull her wrist away. Her palms were beginning to get slick and a cold sweat started on her forehead.

-She wouldn’t understand even if I did.

Handong planted a foot firmly on the ground and using her clamminess to her advantage, managed to slip away from Yubin. She needed to keep her, damn it. Why was she running away again? She wanted no, needed her back. It had been a long two days and anything to get her to stay.

“You get to question why I went away for 6 days, but I don’t get to ask you to finish your sentence?”

Yubin must have struck a nerve because Handong stood still and took a shaky breath in.


	6. A Lover's Quarrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fight. They regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating in 2 days! or 3. Depends how much longer I can fuel myself on (homemade) snickerdoodles and almond milk

Handong reeled back, recoiling at her question.  
“You didn’t even tell me why you ignored me a whole week!”

She flushed red at the accusation; how dare she. Their situations didn’t even compare. Did she even bother asking why beforehand, when she had the chance? Did she even bother reaching out and meeting in the middle? Did she even bother with her in the first place? At least she had the option of just popping in out of nowhere and striking a conversation up, something she did not have the luxury of doing when Yubin disappeared. She turned to Yubin, glaring daggers at her. Scowling, she took a step towards her, dominating her with her sheer intensity and intimidation.

“May I remind you that I, unlike someone, didn’t outright disappear. That I, unlike someone, didn’t leave my ‘wife’ alone for 6 days. That I, unlike some fool, didn’t not leave a single note or reminder or message about what I was doing! Or when I was coming back!”

Yubin’s chest began burning.  
“It was justified! I do so much work and put so much effort into this stupid relationship and all you ever do is run away into your stupid basement!”

Fed up at their aimless and bottomless fight, Handong attempted to leave again. There was no way Yubin was going to let that happen. She grabbed Handong’s bare forearm. She was not going to let her go now. A wave of calm panic overloaded Yubin’s senses when she came in contact with Handong. It choked her with how overwhelming it was and constricted her vocal cords. She collected herself however, not letting Handong weaponize her weakness.  
“You do not get to leave halfway through this.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do!” Handong wrangled her arm in vain, as Yubin’s grip tightened.

“Can you stop being such a bitch?”

Any hope of their squabble ending amicably died then and there. Nannan crawled up the stairs and meowed at the sudden tension in the house. Yubin felt Handong’s heart clench and contort and seize. Or maybe that was hers.

-She thinks that I’m a bitch?

Wait no, no. She didn’t mean to say that.

-She thinks that I’m a bitch.

Yubin’s hold on Handong loosened. Handong turned around one last time to face the person that was at the epicentre of their conflict, a deer caught in the headlights of anger and agony. Teary eyes looked back at her. She tore herself off Yubin, leaving a freshly woken up and crying Gahyeon back to Yubin’s empty hands.

What had she just done? Had she really been too insulted to think straight or deescalate the situation?  
Yubin had never felt so powerless before, and she had been through so much more than this. Then why? Why did it hurt so much? Why was there an ache in her chest and light-headedness that so contrasted her earlier and anger at Handong. 

.  
.  
.

Gahyeon stared wide-eyed at a bleary Yubin. Gahyeon may have been but 3 weeks old, but she was attentive to detail and had a shockingly good memory; not that that skill was useful when she couldn’t even talk, let alone read and write. She tilted her head at the new onslaught of emotions that she showed on Yubin’s face. She didn’t understand many things, many words or many strange sayings, but what she did understand was the heaping hot mess the two of her ‘parents’ were being.  
And really, who couldn’t, right? 

Yubin was sad. And tired and angry and peeved. And most of all, she missed the sensation of Handong nuzzling into her shoulder and how lyrics would abruptly change from one language to another as she forgot the verse and filled it in with a completely different song; only to then continue back to the chorus of the first one. She craved the light snoring that continued from 3 am in the morning all the way to 11 o’clock when the sun had fully stationed itself high in the sky. She yearned for the headstrong and stubbornness that showed itself through the hidden layers of Handong’s aloofness and the peaks of her quirkiness that slipped into weird actions and words.

For she had gone a whole week without interacting with Handong, not to mention the days leading up to that where she was essentially weaned out of seeing and spending time with her. Even her own form of petty revenge did nothing but crush her even more. It seemed that no matter what she did or was going to do, she’d end up drawing the short end of the stick. A lose-lose situation. One where she wouldn’t get the last laugh because no one did because the players were too busy sulking and feeling bad for themselves.

And what’s more was that she really hadn’t meant to be away for so long.

Time was different in her world.  
Figuratively and literally.

Although she couldn’t go back to Hell, the laws never stated that someone from Hell couldn’t visit her. By someone, she really meant some room. Her precious office that had a much more extensive collection of books and stationery and instruments and papers was where she had stayed the past 6 days (6 days in normal Earth time). It even had better wi-fi, which meant nothing because she hadn’t quite yet invested into any smart devices: but she knew that wi-fi was better than that piece of junk that was taped together, enchanted and shoved to the corner of the room and provided satisfactory enough free (maybe illegal, but Handong was a witch who just technically bought a baby with no paperwork) broadband that hadn’t been replaced in what looked like a few decades.

It seemed, however, that popping a pocket dimension into existence put a strain into the fabric of the space-time continuum and forced the time there to both behave and be perceived differently. 

So yes. Her missing from the house was on purpose. And had been purposely done to give Handong a taste of her own bitter medicine, but she didn’t mean for it to be so long. Maybe she should clarify this. After all, Handong could have had a perfectly reasonable reason to ignore her – which she didn’t, but Yubin didn’t know that.

As guilt and what felt right to be labelled as shame grew heavier and heavier, Yubin knew she was to fix the problem immediately. How much longer she could go with her glares and side-eyes and awkward glances, she did not know, but she knew that it wasn’t long.

And she’d rather not draw it out again. This time, she’d be the bigger person, since Handong was apparently refusing to do so.

The only not-lose situation was to apologise. She’d clarify everything out, she’d explain why she did what she did and, last but not least, she’d ask for forgiveness and maybe, if she was feeling sly enough, ask in return for Handong’s definitely-reasonable-reason as to why she disregarded her entire being for a fortnight or so.

A letter!

She needed to write a letter. Well, she was almost forced to write a letter as she had no other form of communication; outside of actually speaking to the witch. Which she would rather not do, remembering the scowls and frowns sent her way that sent shivers down her spine and did something to pool anxiety in her stomach.

With a few strides to her desk, and a busy brain in her head, she started writing.

‘Dear Handong,’

No. Too formal.

‘Dearest Handong,’

No. Too affectionate

‘To Handong,’

No. Too much like a Christmas card.

‘To my dearest Handong,’

Hmm. No.

Yubin scrunched up the fourth piece of paper and threw it in the bin, it became the fourth ball of paper to hit the edge and roll onto the floor. Dang, even her throwing skills were off, not to mention her writing skills, which she was the most acclaimed for in the underworld – her enticing contracts and seductive pieces that had people jump the gun and never mull over the consequences or drawbacks.

And now she was stuck on the first line. The first line, not even a sentence.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

.  
.  
.

It seemed that Gahyeon sensed when it was her time to be quiet and not throw messy tantrums, as for the past day or two, not a peep. For now, anyway, Gahyeon promised herself that whenever the two finally settled down she’d go back to her wailing ways.

Handong was grateful for this, for being sympathetic was not one of her shining qualities; it is important to note here that sympathy and empathy are two different things and that: she could consider things from another person’s point of view; and she could walk in their shoes; she just knows that had she been the one crawling around in their skin, she definitely would not make the mistakes or insipid choices that she made.

Because Handong was a logical and collected person.

Because Handong was not one to hold grudges.

Yet here she was, a starfish on the charcoal rug of the basement, letting her fury brew and fester in the back of her mind.

The scalding words of ‘Can you stop being such a bitch?’ etched themselves into the core of Handong's being. Again. It replayed again. The more she thought about it the more it stung and left a deep impression into her brain. She felt naked and stripped and vulnerable. She so badly craved her walls to be back up and despite her house being more occupied than ever, she felt lonelier than she had ever been before.

She sunk into her dissatisfaction more, digging a never-ending hole of self-sabotage further and further. All she wanted was time alone. Time to think. Time to brood over what to do next and how to approach Yubin. But a pressure of rejection and disgust steeped in her paranoia and became so strong that she believed it to be true. After all, there was no way that Yubin liked her back. Yubin hated her. That was a fact. She must have by now. She explicitly went out of her way to avoid her for days on end. She declined her help despite needing it. She winced and squirmed every time that she came close to her. She despised touching her and didn’t bother to reach out when Handong pulled back. 

Thinking back to what Yoohyeon had said to her, she considered getting over her crush on Yubin. It would be for the best. Handong was a fool for thinking that time and a perfectly executed plan could save herself from being disliked, let alone having her feelings return in full vigour.


	7. Traitorous Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't shoot the messanger.   
> Or kill it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handong being the leader of her group is something that I am dying to see tomorrow.  
> I need Handong screentime :'(

Handong looked over the white desk in the lab, where potions and test tubes and research that led to nowhere were neatly laid out in chronological order, with each paper linking with the ratio and reactants used. Everything was colour coded and the key for the colours was sloppily written out on a post stick note with the failed promise of re-writing it out neater. 

The snacks that were piled high on the table were untouched, as Handong had the fortune of actually preparing the basement into a part emergency bunker but the misfortune of giving up a quarter of the way through, and never bothering to remove the first aid kids or tinned food or spare kettle from the lab turned basement. 

How long had it been since she isolated herself inside the basement, Handong did not know, all she knew was that it had been long enough for her phone to run out of battery and for half of her already very small food supply to be consumed. A part of her was glad that her phone battery died as it stopped her from keeping track of the time and worrying about Yubin and Gahyeon and Nannan. All things she’d rather like to pretend they didn’t exist. 

Nannan was a smart boy though, and just announced himself into the room whenever he so pleased to be fed and receive tender love and care.

Something which the other two did not nor could not do.

Now was a great time to finish the stocked food piled in the corner of the spacious room and clear it for another desk, maybe a grey one this time, it would fit with the colour scheme of the ivory walls, grey sofa and two desks; one which was black and the other white. 

Handong flopped onto the sofa, the plain throw pillows jostling into the air before landing on top of her. She was sick and tired of this stupid predicament she was stuck in and wished she had never brought this upon herself. 

Maybe she could make a time travelling spell and warp back in time to stop herself from signing the contract or warn herself not to do it otherwise it would 'lead to certain doom in the near future'.

A meow was heard. 

Nannan must want food. After all, for some reason, she had more cat food – both wet and dry – stocked up in the emergency corner (?) than actual human food; something that he knew too well apparently. When she lifted herself up to fetch it, she noted that Nannan hadn’t moved towards his food bowl, nor his water bowl – which was positioned nice and far away from his food, because cats don’t like eating with their drinks nearby.

She called for him, but he didn’t answer. Even her own cat was being hostile to her now. Great.

“Nannan~, come here.” She turned around, expectedly patting her lap. 

The grey cat plopped himself on the charcoal rug with a closed envelope in his mouth. He bit onto the corner of it precariously, not risking the contents of the letter to be pierced through and leaving a couple characters illegible. He sauntered his way through the room and gently laid the letter down on the black desk situated in front of the sofa.

"Is - is that for me?"

Nannan didn't reply, he curled himself into a ball and then watched Handong's movements carefully, anticipating her next action.

Handong rushed to the white desk to grab anything with a straight and sturdy edge, preferably her trusted exacto knife. She came back and seated herself on the sofa with a metal ruler, bearing a sullen look.

Carefully, she followed the sealed edge of the letter with the thinnest part of her ruler and slid it down its length. Once it opened, she pulled out a parchment of folded paper. It was addressed to her, at least she thought it was, as it didn’t begin with anything but jumped straight into the main body of the letter. How peculiar, and direct, of the sender.

The penmanship of the letter was neat but at the same time sharp and, what Handong could only dub as, efficient, not a single stroke out of bounds nor a hair out of place. It wasn’t written in calligraphy, it was written out in print, no stylisation or fancy curves. Straight to the point. The writer must have been a very rigorous person, a perfectionist. Maybe uptight. But care was definitely put into the writing and it wasn’t just hastily written. But enough of analysing the penmanship or lettering of the writer, she wanted to read it. And read it she did.

‘I want to first and foremost like to apologise for what I said earlier. I did not, and do not mean it. I was just extremely frustrated at how you weren’t listening to me and I felt hurt at your rather true jabs at what I did to you.

I know why you’d feel upset because even when I was ‘taking revenge on you’ and disappeared for days, I felt lonely and unwanted and honestly, I truthfully would like to spend time with you, I was just too cowardice to admit it and let my shyness take over and I don’t even know why I didn’t try to reach out when it seemed like you were distancing yourself from me and… Oh wait, I’m rambling.

I also wanted to explain my disappearance, as I hadn’t meant for it to take as long as it had and I didn’t realise that the time I spent in my dimension would correlate to 6 days on Earth - it was only 2 days for me.

I hope we can reconcile this,

Yours sincerely,  
Yubin’

Her eyes scanned the paper yet again, re-reading it from the beginning to the end, ‘Yubin’. It was definitely for her and from Yubin; despite it not being addressed to her nor having her name anywhere in that letter.

It was an apology. From Yubin.

Bubbles of glee swelled up in her chest. To hell with her grudge, she was never going to keep it anyway, after all, she was a person of logic first and emotions second, and it was only logical to accept her most earnest and heartwarming apology to her. This truly was wife material. 

She paused. Ah shit, she was her wife. A not unfamiliar knot pulled in her stomach and the usual suspect of a blush speckled her cheeks. Damn, she was a fool to think that her crush would fizzle away so soon - she understood her emotions as much as any other person did, which was to say, very little.

After a while of admiration and almost fangirling, she sighed and folded the letter back into its original state, noticing that Nannan had unsurprisingly disappeared without a word again. Like owner, like cat.

Handong set the letter down and replaced it into the envelope. She jumped back onto the sofa and broke out into a wide smile and squealed in delight. Now that she knew crystal clear that Yubin did not hate her, for a fact, she was ready to face her fears… Later anyway. There was something she needed to figure out first.

Yubin was acting so civil, unlike herself, but she digresses. Maybe Handong will stop being defensive and actually explain herself to Yubin too, but that meant telling her why she ignored her for a week which meant revealing she had a crush on her which Yubin would react badly at best to or never talk to her again at worst. Obviously, what would happen would remain a mystery until she actually did it, but it was still gut wrenching to think of any sort of negative response or rejection coming out of her lips.

Her mood dampened at that thought.

“Damn, I really do have to get my shit together.”

Silence, not that she expected anyone to reply.

“You really do.”

Yubin?

Handong whipped her head to the side. The demon was wearing a blue flannel shirt on top of a thick grey hoodie and skinny black jeans. She stifled her sharp inhale. Ah, it was too soon. Later was coming too quickly. There was no way that was her, she must have been hallucinating. She can’t even come here, first of all, and the timing was too right, how would she have known that Handong had finished reading the letter? For all she knew, she could have thrown it away unless someone had told her. But there was no ‘someone’ to tell her, only herself and Nannan. So obviously -

Wait. Nannan… That lame excuse of a familiar!

Just as Handong prepared to leap at the grey scottish fold with betrayal lurking in her mind, Yubin made eye contact with her and she swore her heart had just lodged itself into her throat and refused to return to its original place. Stupid emotions, stupid feelings, stupid brain, stupid homosexuality. Damn it all to hell.

“I didn’t mean that in -”

“No, no. It’s okay, I think even Nannan knows that too.”

Handong darted her eyes from Yubin to her unsolicited couples therapist and then let it settle into Nannan’s green ones; if only to stop her heart from beating too quickly and bursting.

In return, he rolled his eyes and rubbed his body against Yubin’s leg.

Not only was he sassing her and had the gall to roll his eyes, he taunted her by giving affection to her crush; something that he rarely did to anyone besides herself.

Why that little - forget about her apology or list of conversation starters, she had a cat to prove wrong.

Handong swallowed her pride, “I also owe you an…” 

“An ap-” She could feel herself gag when the word maneuvered its way from her mind and left her throat, “Ap- apolo-”

She took a deep breath in, she could do this, just don’t focus on the past, think of the present and the future and the benefits it would bring along with it, “Apology.”

Her face scrunched up in disgust and agony. Apologising was not her cup of tea, especially since she had once sworn off from doing so. But if it meant getting closer to Yubin, she’d do anything, even relive some of her worst days and nights. Yubin looked at her dumbfounded. It really looked like she either didn’t mean it or was detested by the idea of apologising. Either way, it was hilarious. Yubin burst out into a fit of laughter followed by some high pitched squeals. 

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“‘An apolo-”, Yubin mimicked the gagging that Handong did, “apology’.”

Handong puffed her cheeks in mock anger and furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t like apologising.” She mumbled. 

“I can tell.” The two shared a laugh.

“I- I didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just that I was so overwhelmed and I’m not the best at socialising and I thought you hated me so I thought that it would be best if I just didn’t. Y’ know?”

Yubin approached Handong, “It’s okay, I thought you hated me too. You don’t do you?”

She fluttered her eyelashes at how ridiculous Yubin’s statement was, “Me? Hate you? I could never. I mean you haven’t even tried to backstab me by, like, chucking Gahyeon out of the window, or something like that. I would if I was you.”

Yubin shot Handong a quizzical look, “You’re so weird.”

“Thank you.”

At the lull of their conversation, Handong collected every inch of bravery she had and stuck her hand out, “How about we forget about everything and start on a blank slate… Again. I’m Handong, your local witch and hotpot lover, and I do not hate you.”

Yubin smiled as she clasped the hand in hers and shook, “I’m Yubin, your local demon and panda enthusiast, I also do not hate you. We have a lot in common I see.”

There, they finally met in the middle.

Nannan went back to his corner and hopped back into the shadows, his job was done and now he could rest without jumping at the prickly tension in the air whenever Handong and Yubin even so breathed on the same floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom, first story arc/bump is done.


	8. Fake it Till you Make It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreaded H word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a mini vacation, miss me?  
> I missed you!!  
> Updating in 3-4 days

The two had finally begun speaking to each other and conversing normally. It had only taken nearly a whole month and a week or so of assumptions and miscommunication mixed with cowardice and loneliness for them to wrap around their heads that they did in fact enjoy each others’ company and that they did in fact enjoy their weird debates. 

And Handong had finally gotten the chance to exhaust her seemingly endless list of icebreakers. 

They were still awkward of course, but they were comfortable with one another to stay in silence and pick up subtle cues and hints, giving each other subtle looks and nudges at what they’d prefer. Maybe argue for a bit before dissolving into laughter. They learned to assist each other in small things and slips; such as Handong reminding Yubin to eat throughout the day - something that the demon was still not used to - and Yubin reminding Handong to go to sleep and stop sulking when she couldn’t quite get a spell something correct on the first try.

If one did not know that their marriage certificate was fake and the rings on their left ring fingers forged from the depths of Hell, one would happily assume that they were in fact married and in a relationship; a peculiar one, yes, but nonetheless a couple through and through.

That was a good thing though, because sooner or later they would have to go outside. Handong shivered at the thought. Money was not good and the two potions she crafted for Gahyeon’s biological parents were the last commissions she got. It was comfortable money, sure, but it would run out soon - especially considering that she wasn’t living by herself anymore.

The money was kept in a safe in the basement and was barely touched except to be used for groceries and ingredients right next to her extensive liquor cabinet; which for reasons no one should talk about is larger and fuller than the safe.

Handong had kept procrastinating on fake documents so much that because she had no legal documents, she couldn’t have a bank account, or a driver’s license, or a debit card, or go drinking. The latter one was something she was missing most of all. Korean’s were so particular about checking your ID, and it doesn’t help that she kept her appearance as a young adult for decades as well. 

“Yubinnie!” 

“Yes?”

“Do we have a bank account?”

“Yes.”

“Do we have a savings account?”

“Yes, a shared one.”

“A CV?”

“Oh.”

Yubin stopped teasing Gahyeon and trotted her way to Handong, who was busy scrolling down a website on her laptop. 

“What are you looking at?”

“There’s a job offer near us,” She tilted the laptop screen more upright so Yubin could see it clearly from her standing position, “There’s 2 open positions. Think we could apply?”

“Yea, we could forge all of our qualifications.”

“Are you able to do that?”

A short nod, “Let’s not make it too good though.”

Handong cocked her head to the side in confusion, “Why?”

“We can’t be overqualified.” Handong sat further baffled, and squinted, trying to make sense of what Yubin had just said, “Like, we can’t say we’re professional baristas if you can’t even boil water correctly.”

“That was once! All you do is eat microwaved rice and pre-made kimchi!”

“‘All you do is eat microwaved rice and pre-made kimchi’.” Mimicked Yubin in a high pitch and a posh accent.

“I don’t even speak like that!”

“‘I don’t even speak like that’.” This time, it garnered a smack on her arm.

“I’m going to ignore what you just did and continue with my train of thought: can’t you magic barista abilities into us?” Yubin paused and pursed her lips.

“I was going to ask the same thing…”

Their eyes met at the same time and they both broke out into a giggle.

When they stopped laughing, Handong began reluctantly, “Do you think that if we combine our powers we’d be able to?”

A glint of curiosity sprung into Yubin’s eyes and a mischievous grin formed from ear to ear. “Let’s try!”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

Faking annoyance, Handong rolled her eyes and huffed as she closed the laptop screen and pushed it to the side. Yubin had a hand stuck out ready to receive Handong, something she happily took as she was assisted out of the sofa and they headed to the dreaded outside world for… Observation and experimentation.

.  
.  
.

“What would be your preferred shift working here?”

“Oh,” Handong looked up at the ceiling, pretending to be deep in thought, “I don’t think it matters, as I’m a very flexible person and I’ve worked early and late shifts before.”

“Really?” Asked the interviewer in shock, “That’s good to hear. I’d like to see you again soon, when are you next available?”

“Umm, I think if you call me anytime after 7 o’clock in the morning tomorrow, I’d be ready to come here.”

The woman leaned in across from the table, “Don’t tell anyone, but we’re quite desperate for employees, so I think you’d get the job.” She left her hand hanging in the air for a handshake, “Plus, I am the main person in charge of hiring, don’t tell Siyeon, but I’ve already made my mind up about hiring you.”

Handong took her hand and shook with assurance and assertiveness, “Thank you, Kim Bora, I really do need the job.” 

“Anything to help another person drowning in student debts, right?”

An eerie silence settled between the two, “Ye-yeah.” Handong quickly packed her stuff up and bowed to Bora before thanking her again and hastily exiting the coffee shop.

Ah shit. She forgot about the university graduate thing again. It wasn’t exactly a lie, she did go through higher education, just not in Korea and definitely not in this millenia. The qualification was the same, but the date and details and country and year were very different. Handong didn’t even know how Yubin was able to bluff her way through her interview, but she did send her a short concise letter on the way there that simply said:

‘I got the job’

As she walked by, Handong noted to herself to buy alcohol for the both of them to celebrate this new opportunity for them; well, it was mostly for herself, but maybe the demon enjoyed drinking and the giddiness and buzz and lack of control it came with as much as she did.

Handong turned into an alleyway and checked the time on her phone. 16:13, she had two minutes left to kill. She crouched down on the ground and unlocked her phone. Two minutes was enough time to set up a new email and social media accounts. What did she need? Kakao, Instagram, Whatsapp… Was that all? Well, she’d add more as she’d see fit later on.

16:15.

As punctual as ever, Yubin stepped out of the shadows with an unconcerned Nannan leading the way; being her familiar, he knew exactly where she was all the time and Yubin, being the genius that she was, was able to replicate his magic quite well.

"Did it go well?"

"Surprisingly? Yeah. People are gullible no matter the time period I guess."

Yubin stretched her hand out, "C'mon, let's go home."

Handong smiled at her chivalry and for the first time in her life, got to experience how the shadows enveloped Nannan as she stepped in.

It was cold and dark, with no light source and no way to know which direction they were heading towards, she heard a voice peeking through the empty void, "Just keep walking."

One more step out and she saw the light of day. The shadows retreated and the marble kitchen island greeted her.

Yubin let go of Handong's hand, to her disappointment, "Maybe I manipulated them and put a charm spell here or there."

"Ah." Handong's eyes widened, "I did too."

They broke out into a cheesy grin. 

"Copycat." Bragged Yubin.

Handong stood bewildered at the lack of logic in her statement, "How was I supposed to copy you if I didn't even l know you did it?"

"Whatever," Yubin started walking off and climbed the stairs, inviting Handong to follow by continuing their conversation as she did so, "At least we'll definitely get the job."

Handong trailed her hand across the handrail as she thought about it further, "But what if we don't? What if only one of us gets it, it won't be enough money."

Yubin paused at the top of the stairs, turning around to face Handong, "Don't say that."

The two continued into their infant's room, not a glance exchanged or word said during the time, the abrupt end to their previous conversation still lingering in their minds.

There was something in her harsh tone that made what she said so much more deeper than what Yubin led it on to be, but she dismissed the thought; if Yubin wanted to reveal something, she would've done it by now.

Handong shuffled closer to Gahyeon, ergo closer to Yubin, who was lifting her out of the cot and setting her on the ground. Their child began wandering and grabbing at the little toys scattered around the floor. However reluctant she was, Handong had definitely started to warm up to her, it did help that Yubin once told her to 'pretend that Gahyeon is a cat and not a baby'. Which did wonders to her ability to be attached to her.

Sometimes Yubin even catches Handong rubbing Gahyeon's chin… But that was a story for another time.

It was tough work being a parent. But sort of rewarding. Sort of. Maybe seeing how Gahyeon grows and matures into her own person will change her mind, but for now, she was too preoccupied looking after her every moment to bother thinking so far ahead into the future.

A future where Gahyeon could walk, talk, hold things, chew food, go to school and my how time flies when you don't keep track of it.

'Children grow like weeds' was something that Handong had heard somewhere before. And it was scarily accurate, Gahyeon could make noises now. Mumble incoherent things and babble a bit. 

Scary. Children were so scary. They grew, learned, adapted so fast and in the blink of an eye they’d probably send off to university as they felt their house go just a smidge colder with the lack of Gahyeon around. Ah, it was going to be so sad.

But enough about the future, right now, she was stuck with a dependent child who didn’t even know day from night and insisted to start crying or to be played with or be read to at midnight and rest during the day. This parenting thing was a full-time job. She will never see single mothers - or fathers - in any light other than heroic from now on.

At least they’d have money… Oh shit who was going to look after her when she was working.

"Yubinnie… What if - what if we get the same shift? Who would look after Gahyeon?"

Yubin, who was speaking in a childishly cute tone to Gahyeon, stopped. They had not thought that far through. 

"We can ask them to separate us."

"But then they'd need to know why."

"'We're married'."

Handong blushed slightly before shooting a quizzical look at Yubin, "Yea, I know."

“We just tell them that.”

Without a single beat, Handong mumbled, “What if they’re homophobic?”

“Oh.”

Yubin snuck a glance at Handong, who had stopped fighting to get Gahyeon’s attention and was brooding on the spot. “Hey, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s not.”

“Korea is a conservative country, they don’t even know shit about homosexuality, you know? As if it’s already hard enough to be a foreigner living in Korea, but I have a stutter and anxiety and I’m introverted and I’m a lesbian. I really am the epitome of-”

“What?”

Handong looked up from the ground, “What, ‘What’?”

Before Yubin could think anything through, she spluttered her question out, “I thought you wanted a boyfriend.”


	9. Honey and Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soft intermission where they get to know each other better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 days technically? It's midnight lol  
> Next update might be slow, who knows, I can't type through heavy tears well

Handong stared at Yubin.

Yubin stared back. 

Nannan strolled in the room sensing tension.

With deep breath in, she whispered, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this, but I’m gay.”

Yubin’s jaw slacked and her eyebrows lifted themselves indefinitely.

“She’s gay?” murmured Yubin. A hint of exasperation in her voice.

Crap.

She could feel it. The sudden locking of her limbs and pressure accumulating at the side of her head. Yubin was staring at her. Judging her. Condemning her. She could sense her confusion and distrust building. The air around her tightened and became heavier. Her heart faltered and her diaphragm weakened, leaving her choking on the thick tension in the atmosphere.

Handong began twiddling with her thumbs and looked down at the carpet. She shouldn’t have come out when she didn’t even know Yubin’s stance on LGBTQ+. Forget the managers of the cafe or the customers, what if Yubin, her own housemate, ‘wife’ and partner was homophobic. Damn. That time travelling spell she wanted to make? She should’ve done it instead of experimenting with combining her magic with Yubin’s and making them good baristas and cashiers and ughh.

“She’s gay…”

Yubin raised her head, patiently waiting until Handong did too.

Handong gulped. Yubin was still glaring at her. She could feel it. 

She had not prepared for this.

She had not done this before in a long time.

Her heart raced and her mind too, with an endless list of possibilities and outcomes and futures going back and forth and it was just too much for her.

‘Don’t be a coward. Just look up, just look up, just look up.’ Stiffly, Handong lifted her head, still not ready to face Yubin.

Their eyes met. There was no malice or hatred or disgust, just pure and utter disorientation.  
“I don’t get it. You say that you’re attracted to females, but you also said that you wanted a boyfriend?”

“I - It's because I want… If I could choose to be, I would be straight.” Handong shifted away from Yubin, “But I can’t.”

Yubin came closer to the dejected witch, her confusion washing away and clearing space for concern.

“What do you mean?”

“I-It’s just that I don’t,” her voice wavered, “I don’t want to be a lesbian...”

Yubin faltered, her face dissolving into uneasiness. “How come?”

Stronger, she continued, “I don’t want to be a lesbian. I don’t want to be part of a ‘minority’. I don’t want to have to hide my affection for someone. I don’t want to be shunned for just loving someone. I don’t want to be looked down upon for just doing what I was born like!” 

“But, if that’s just who you are, then why be so angry about it?”

Her hands began to shift into claws and dug into her skin, red beads beginning to emerge where she scraped herself.

Her tone raised in volume and wobbled as she carried on, “Look, I know I’m not meant to be thinking this way or feeling this way, but I just want a boyfriend! I want a boyfriend so I can avoid all the talk, all the gossip, all the glares, all the bad things they say about us, all the bad things they do to us. I just want to be ‘normal’.”

Handong hadn’t looked up in a long time, curling into a ball and suppressing her urge to just run away from the room and isolate herself from everyone and everything.

"And it's all too much. Because you have to live with the anxiety of anyone finding out and anyone outing you and anyone being homophobic and anyone kicking you out of the coven. And-"

As gently as possible, Yubin placed her hands on Handong’s shoulders and turned her body to completely face her. There was a shine in her eyes and a sorrow so profoundly deep within her that she didn't dare say anything. She was so vulnerable and small and melancholy that Yubin felt an urge to protect her from all the harm in the world.

Yubin slipped her arms underneath Handong’s and pulled her into a comforting and warm embrace; hoping to communicate what her words or actions couldn’t. She didn’t trust herself to speak on such a sensitive topic or comment on something so wholly different from her experiences in life. All she knew was that it wasn’t fair that she had to go through all this suffering just because of the way she was born or because people were so wrongly prejudiced against something she can’t even control.

Handong’s grip loosened and slowly but surely, she unclasped her hands and stopped hurting herself. Reluctantly, she wrapped her arms around Yubin’s neck, which was met back by a soft but tight squeeze. At that, all of her bottled emotions came undone. So, full of wrought, Handong squeezed Yubin back harder. In that hug, she released so much of her pent up anguish. The flood of held back emotions was so overwhelming that she kept hugging harder and harder until she put so much force onto Yubin that she tackled her into the ground.

Yubin cautiously dragged her hands down the small of Handong’s back, enticing a small shiver from the witch. With no complaint being made, she proceeded to tenderly brush her hands along her back. A choked sob was held back. Handong buried her head into the crook of Yubin’s shoulder and got lost in the warmth of it all. The blur of their conversation, the slowness of their hug, the sensual stroking. Everything was too much and simultaneously not enough for Handong.

In that moment, Handong saw Yubin not as a friend, or a partner, or a crush, or a demon, or an accomplice, but purely a shining compliment to her existence.

The two laid there on the soft carpeted floor with children’s toys scattered around them for what could have been hours and what could have been minutes and what could have been seconds, but for them, was simply home.

She patted Handong’s head to garner her attention.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Yubin felt Handong nod. She lifted herself off Yubin, her face red for many reasons: the embarrassment, the strain of holding back her tears, because she just hugged Yubin, because she was so close to Yubin, because she had barely breathed. And strangely, Yubin’s was too, for reasons that none of them could pinpoint.

“Didn’t you say you were going to dye your hair?” asked Yubin.

“Yea.” Handong sniffed, “I’m going back to brunette, it was the colour I temporarily changed to for the interview.”

“Want help?”

Handong fanned her face with her hands in an attempt to stop herself from crying, shaking her head lightly as she did so, "No, you can watch though.”

“‘Watch’?”

“It's magic.” Handong wiped her now stuffy nose with a tissue as she trailed her way to the bathroom. Yubin promptly followed, leaving Gahyeon alone with only Nannan to take care of her. That was okay right? Nannan was a smart boy after all.

.  
.  
.

Handong had dyed her hair brown and cut it shoulder length. She might have not told the entire truth when saying it was going to be magic, only the hair dying part was - how else was her scalp supposed to survive if she was constantly bleaching and dying her hair like a normal person.

The latter half of the hair transformation was done with her trusty hair cutting scissors, and two mirrors - one handheld and the other full length.

Admittedly, Yubin had a lot of fun staring at Handong and asking random questions, she had even revealed arbitrary information she had never revealed to anyone before - demon nor human - such as her favourite colour, animal, season, food, dessert; until she ran dry of shallow questions to interrogate with.

“What’s it like to love someone?”

Handong paused midway through trimming the sides of her bangs, visibly caught off guard by the question. She hummed in thought, thinking of her most recent, and current love, an image of Yubin floated about in her head. A blush appeared on her face when she looked at the reflection of Yubin, who had her head tilted slightly to her right, “You just have an urge to protect them from all the bad in the world and want them to be happy.”

“So do you love me?”

The scissor ready to trim her hair out faltered. “...No.”

A frown formed on Yubin’s face. “I - I meant romantically, but I do love you.”

“So what’s it like to love someone romantically?”

Handong took a deep breath in, already feeling her heart beating fast and hard and, applying an uncomfortable pressure against her ribs, “When you see them, your heart flutters and there’s an undeniable warmth growing in your body. You just want to spend all of your time with them and share everything with them and everytime you see them you want them to kiss you and hug you all the time.”

“Oh,”Yubin visibly deflated, “I see.” She stopped asking questions after that.

Handong continued working her way from the left side to the right, and just as she was about to finish levelling everything off to shoulder length, Yubin interjected the long silence with another question, “Then what’s it like to kiss someone?”

Handong jumped and cut her hair at an angle. Great. Not only did she have to answer that invasive question, she’d have to work around her now uneven hair. She changed the scissors to thinning ones and began feathering her hair. It was a strange question, sure, but she had kind of expected it. The poor demon seemed so lost when it came to feelings and human courting. It was adorable.

“What's it like to kiss someone? Well, if you’re doing it with someone you love, someone you love romantically that is, it’s amazing. It’s like sparks of electricity or an explosion or a flood of relief or fireworks or a lightbulb moment.”

Yubin pointedly stared at the Handong’s reflection in the mirror, fixating her eyes on her lips and wondering what it was like to kiss them.

Handong retorted back, “Then have you never kissed someone before?”

Yubin shook her head adamantly.

Handong wondered if she should ask this question, but seeing as they both had their guards down, she did so anyway, “Have you ever fallen in love?”

Yubin’s eyes switched from looking at Handong’s lips to her eyes, “I…” Her eyes cast down, “I don’t think so. I don’t even know if demons can fall in love. But until now, I haven’t, there just hasn’t been any guy that caught my eye.”

Feeling brave after their intimate moment, Handong pressed further, “You said ‘guy’, but what if you’re not attracted to men? Or even women, you could be asexual or aromantic or demisexual or graysexual for all you know. Or, you could just leave yourself unlabelled. But I find it hard to believe that after centuries of living that if you haven’t liked anyone. Are you sure that y-”

“Dongie?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think you can help me fall in love?”

Handong hesitated, “O - of course honey.”

“Honey?” questioned Yubin.

Handong flushed pink in embarrassment, “Well, I thought because we’re officially married that we had better act like it, don’t you like it?”

Yubin laughed at the pet name that she came up with on the spot, “Pfft, only if I get to call you ‘Baby’ or ‘Babe’.”

“That’s such a bad pet name.”

Yubin scoff, slightly offended at her quip, “You’re so so mean.”

“Whatever you say, honey,”

“Fine, I’ll see you soon baby, I’m checking up on Gahyeon.”

As Yubin left the room, Handong was left stunned and flabbergasted but most of all, star-struck. ‘Baby’, she secretly hoped that the demon would call her that more often, anything other than her real name, anything that gave a shred of hope that Yubin might possibly maybe actually return her feelings back.

“Baby…” She repeated, almost not believing the word had left Yubin’s lips and was addressed to her.


	10. Coffee Shop Prodigies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, they got the job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handong did so well on QCYN!! I hope she knows that we're proud of her!

Regarding their Gahyeon dilemma, they had to compromise.

With the money Handong had left, she had hired a babysitter. Hopefully they wouldn’t question why they lived near the edge of the woods or why there was no wi-fi (she hid her stupid contraction in shame) or why there was no man and instead two women with a baby in their care. It didn’t really matter though, because the two were capable of, say, tinkering with their memory or fuzzing out parts of their brain so they didn’t think it to be strange. Especially considering they could just enchant the whole house.

.  
.  
.

Handong fiddled with the new ring on her hand. It felt strange to not wear her wedding ring, despite it only being a week into wearing it; instead, she had a plain silver band with rose quartz embedded in it. It was an apology gift from Yubin. She said that it stopped her telepathy as long as she was wearing it. So obviously, she wore it as much as possible. Too many bad things came with that unchecked telepathy. Yesterday was only one example.

Today, Monday, was their morning shift and training day, and they arrived, with Nannan leading the way to the abandoned alleyway or what they liked to dub ‘Checkpoint no.1’.

Yubin had quite a knack for copying magic, or anything for that matter. Handong, on the other hand, was more of the experimental and scientific type. So combined, they made a database of all they needed to know about working in a café through careful observation and, reverse engineering Yubin’s affinity to copy, Handong was able to infuse the magical ability to perfectly brew coffee and assemble cakes and wash dishes into the demon.

Yubin copied and pasted what Handong did to her and boom. Baristas in no time flat. 

Working in a café was hard work of course, but after mastering time management and the recipes and basics, it required little to no thinking outside of that.

Which was perfect, because Handong did not want to think, just let her magic-induced muscle memory take over and mindlessly let time slip through her hands.

They arrived later than whoever opened the store. Handong looked around for any sign of the familiar short brunette girl. As she walked into the changing rooms she saw instead a tall girl with jet black hair and an intimidating aura emanating from her. 

“Oh, Siyeon! Nice to meet you, this is Handong my…” Yubin nudged Handong, waiting for her to fill in the rest of her sentence.

Panicked, she ended it with the first thing she could think of, “Gir-”

They shared a look, shit, “Friend that’s a girl.”

“Best friend.” Assured Yubin.

“O-kay,” Siyeon nodded slowly at their strange behaviour and dismissed them to leave their coats on the hangers and put their aprons on.

Yubin began fiddling with the strings at the back, her fingers making a sad double knot that did little to fix the apron onto her.

“Why is it so loose?” To which she replied by shrugging. 

“Come here.”

She turned around, undoing her failed attempt so she could tie it more securely. What Handong did instead was grab the two strings and cross it around to the front of Yubin's body. 

The skin at the back of Yubin’s head prickled as she felt her breath travel."Do it like this instead of behind you," she said near her ear, alarmingly close to her. “It's easier." 

Her forearms grazed Yubin's waist as she continued to fumble about with the excess fabric. Nimbly, she formed a neat bow.

Handong stepped back and circled to the front of Yubin, admiring her handywork. 

"There. Now we match!"

The morning sun shone directly on her face. A content smile was on her face. It grew wider, her cheeks pushing up and into her eyes nearly closing them fully. She wished Handong would smile, like this, more often, and more often to her and more often because of her.

"Hey, what's taking so long?" Asked Siyeon as she backtracked to the staff room. 

There, she saw Yubin gaping at Handong and Handong smiling like she had just discovered the meaning of life. Siyeon coughed, snapping both of them back to attention, they apologized and followed her to one of the tables.

"So, Bora and I usually do rock, paper, scissors before the cafe opens to determine who cleans the floor and who cleans the tables. But there's three of us so... I guess the winner just doesn't clean. Sound fair?"

The two nodded.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

In the end, Siyeon was assigned to mop the floor and Handong to wipe the tables whilst Yubin triumphantly leaned forward onto the countertop watching the two diligently work, mentally celebrating her calculated win.

Bored, Yubin's eyes wandered from the wet trails of water on the floor, to the shimmer of the newly washed tables, finally settling on Handong's body. They followed every curve and bend of her body and noted the way her turtleneck would bunch up because it was too large on her or how her she so gracefully danced (not really, but the way she effortlessly shifted her body from one side of the shop to the other said a different story) from one table to another or how she'd pull her lips tightly when outstretching her arm to wipe the other side of the table because she was too lazy to walk to the other side of it.

She had never seen Handong out of her pyjamas or oversized hoodies or wrapped in furry onesies or hidden underneath a long coat. Something about how she dressed so elegantly and well or the way the tiniest amount of highlight dabbed onto her waterline brought out her dark dark eyes just forcefully shoved all of the air she had breathed in, out; as if she had just been suckerpunched by her beauty.

Turning around, Handong saw that Yubin was looking at her, “Like what you see?”

Handong brought Yubin out of her daze, initiating eye contact, and then winked exaggeratedly. Yubin’s eyes darted from where they were before to Handong’s hand and then to her neck and then to the way she was standing, a hand on her waist and a playful smirk on her lips. Yubin pretended to not hear what she said, “Hmm?”

Shaking her head, Handong replied with a dejected ‘nothing’ and carried on her work. Both of them had failed to notice the tinge of red on the tip of Yubin’s ears or the way she smiled wistfully whilst slyly staring at Handong’s long shadow cast on the floor by the rising sun.

Siyeon however did. She had never seen Yubin act this… off? She had barely known the woman of course, but she didn’t seem like the type to miss things or be caught off guard. Something was fishy.

Now, Siyeon wasn’t one to pry or be nosy, she let people do whatever they wanted however they wanted, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone or go against her morals, but this case was a curious one. She’d discuss this with Bora later on.

If Siyeon wasn’t mistaken, Handong had just flirted with Yubin? 

And again, she had only just met this Handong woman in person, but according to Bora, she was shy and took a lot to come out of her shell. Sure, they were friends, ‘best friends’ as Yubin had put it, but something just didn’t sit right with her, not with how little the two talked to each other and how they seemed to communicate solely through short glances. She’d definitely discuss this with Bora. 

Siyeon huffed, she liked meeting new people, sure, but it was pain when they were awkward or shy or not reciprocating her enthusiasm back; so far all but one of the above had been ticked off, and it would soon be ‘all’ if the two didn’t reply to the question she was about to ask.

“So, how did you two meet?”

Both of them turned to face Siyeon at the same time; even their head turns were synchronised, suspicious.

“Oh,” Handong locked eyes with Yubin, both of them seemingly asking the other to fill in with their made-up story, after a few seconds of frowns being exchanged, she rolled her eyes and continued, “Fine. We met through a friend’s birthday party.”

“We both ended up at the same corner of the room trying to avoid the drinking games that were happening in the middle of the room.”

“It’s because Yubin’s a light-weight,” added Handong with a triumphant grin on her face.

Yubin glared at Handong, “I am not!”

“That's what you always say and that’s what you’re always proven wrong.”

Together, they both said the same thing, Yubin in a serious tone, whilst Handong was rolling her eyes and using her hand as a puppet to imitate Yubin, “You’re so so mean.”

They started laughing only for the laughter to die down when they remembered Siyeon was still in the room.

Handong smiled sheepishly, “Sorry. I’m not good at socialising, that’s more of Yubin’s territory.”

“Dong Dong, if you just say that to everyone you meet, they’ll believe you.”

Siyeon tilted her head inquisitively, “‘Dong Dong’?”

Yubin stifled a laugh, at the on-the-spot made nickname, “That’s Handong’s nickname.”

If that’s how they were going to play the game, then so be it. Accusatory, Handong pointed a finger at the laid back demon, “When we first got to know each other, she thought my name was ‘Hot Dog’ for 3 days because she misheard me at the party. I only found out when I called her and I showed up as a hot dog emoji as her contact info.”

Yubin went red at this TMI, flustered, she tried to roll with the sudden story that was thrusted upon her, “It’s not my fault! First of all, you didn’t correct me; and second of all, of course I didn’t hear you correctly, it was a party! It was loud!”

Siyeon squinted her eyes. Their banter felt more than just friendly. It had too much chemistry, too much tension, too much charge? Whatever that meant. She’d think on this later, after all, in between their short conversation, Siyeon had managed to wipe the remaining small uncleaned section of the café clean, which meant that they had to go and organise the cakes and desserts, and obviously teach them all of the systems and till management and operating it before the shop was officially opened, which was in a few hours.

But the two already had experience in a café, and they seemed like relatively very smart human beings. She was sure they’d learned quickly, that was of course something that the two had both listed as one of their qualities on their CV so Siyeon desperately hoped that it was true and not just some trait added to buff themselves up.

And they did learn quickly.

Maybe they were secretly geniuses. Every single thing that they did wrong on their first go, if they had even made a mistake, they corrected on their second attempt after carefully observing how Siyeon adjusted it. Maybe they were patiserie or barista prodigies? Was that a thing? Surely not, but then again, people did hold coffee and pie and tea and cake competitions, so all bets were off on that sort of thing. Niches are very popular after all. And maybe the pair had a niche skill in copying café techniques. Or it was their experience working in various cafes for a long time. But for some reason, Siyeon doubted that that was the case, some mistakes that they made were quite rookie ones, things that long-time masters would have nightmares about if they ever made them. 

It was all too fishy. Like that little shop of horrors that always had just what you needed when you walked in it and you pay for the object with a price of misfortune and bad luck rather than actual monetary things. Except instead of an object you desired, it was two star employees just when life was hitting them hard and their past employee left.

She’d definitely discuss this with Bora. Maybe even interrogate them. Wait. One of them. It'd be easier without someone to bounce a change of subject off of.

Handong seemed like the easier one to crack. Siyeon would know, she was a good judge of character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update was late purely because I forgot how to count to four, this is a problem because I want a degree in maths


	11. A Wager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora doesn't know when to draw the line with questions, Yubin forgets that Handong can't teleport

Later that day, after arriving home and discussing things with Bora, most of it being banter and catching up on each other’s day, Siyeon remembered her mental note.

“Unnie,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you find it fishy that just a few weeks after we shared that online ad for employees that we get two people offering to work here?”

Bora, intrigued, put down the forkful of a tart she had overcooked - barely, most customers definitely would not have noticed and happily bought it, but maybe it had been an excuse to just eat a damn tart, okay?

“Are you saying that they’re like demons or something?”

Siyeon looked to the side and bit into her inner cheek before breaking out into a cheeky smile, “Well... Maybe?”

Bora slapped Siyeon on her shoulder, quite hard, though unintentionally so, breaking out into her disjointed laugh, “Singnie, you’ve been watching too many action movies!”

“But what if they’re spies?”

This time, Bora dropped her fork into the pillowy pile of whipped cream, “Why would the government - or any one - spy on us?”

“I mean… It’s a possibility?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t care who they are outside of work... Unless what they are is serial killers or something.”

Siyeon heard the slightest bit of apprehension in her voice when she stated that, and knew that she wasn’t a hundred percent telling the truth, she started poking Bora’s arms with both her hands, “Unnie~ don’t lie, you’re just as interested in their personal lives as much as I am.”

“Of course I am! What idiot doesn’t have social media these days! Lee Yubin doesn’t even have a phone, she just uses the same one as Handong does!” She stabbed a large chunk of the crust off, mumbling, she continued, “I can’t believe I didn’t even notice this when hiring them!”

Hearing how her co-owner was just as intrigued at the mystery of the duo as she was, Siyeon cracked up, there really was nothing that slipped under the radar of Bora’s detective nor social skills.

“Unnie, do you think you could help with that?”

Bora pushed her to stop being so cryptic, “Help with what?”

“Well, I think that Yubin and Handong are dating, or at least had or have a thing going on.”

Bora screamed quitely, or at least as quietly as was Bora-ly possible, “WHAT? Pshh, if they were a thing, or had a thing or have a thing going on between each other, I would be the first to know. And I don’t know. And I’m always right.”

Siyeon hid a growing smile, “Wanna bet?” 

.  
.  
.

Today was the first day that Yubin was going to meet Bora. Handong didn’t know why, but a weird dread filled her. It didn’t help that she’d be working alone with her too, Bora could be… Intense. Especially without Siyeon there to reel her back from saying anything too pushy. Plus, she had to deal with Gahyeon’s latest tantrum, which lasted almost an hour, not accounting for the mini one she had thrown when she saw that Yubin was leaving; already picking favourites with her mothers, she saw what she was doing. Handong was just glad that the babysitter she had hired yesterday had been able to deal with both of them leaving. Apparently better than herself… Yeah… Whatever, she wouldn’t let one slightly brainwashed teenager soil her relationship with her child.

Yubin teleported home, jumping into the fluffy sofa without removing her large coat, frowning when she had peeked at what Handong was busying herself doing.

Before she could even question how her day went, or exchange any greetings, Yubin started.

"What's a bottom and a top?"

Handong nearly spit out the wine she had just consumed, "Wh-what?"

"Bora asked me if I was a top or a bottom. She said that the top and bottom thing is exclusively for same-sex relationships.” She hesitated for a second, not knowing why, “We're in a same-sex relationship."

Too tipsy to not to get flustered, Handong began explaining the premise of it, "In hetero cis relationships, the man is always the one fucking - unless the woman decides that she wants to put a strap on and starts doing him. But same-sex relationships are different: both partners can give and take, so the one doing the fucking is the top and the one recieving is the bottom."

Yubin nods, absorbing all the information which was just thrown at her, "So what is the difference between a dom and a sub and a top and a bottom."

"Well, dom and sub are like energies? V-vibes? Because you can be dominant and a bottom or be submissive and a top."

"How?”

"Like this."

Handong grabbed Yubin's collar and pulled her top half off the sofa. She grabbed one of Yubin thighs and hiked it up her body, their breaths mingling with the pungent smell of alcohol assaulting Yubin's nose.

Handong pulled Yubin's head further into hers until their noses were brushing against one another's, maintaining eye contact, "Fuck me right here, right now."

A jolt of electricity ran down Yubin's back. Holy shit.

Handong let go of her leg and shirt, "See? In that situation, I was implying that I wanted you to top me, so I would be the bottom, but I was clearly being the dominant one."

Yubin's heart rate had accelerated at an alarming rate and she was breathing heavily. Was this what dying by heart attack felt like?

She wanted to feel it again, that exhilarating sensation that brought out a strange spark of joy, that feeling of being so human, "So... What would a dominant top be like?" 

Handong placed a hand on Yubin's sternum and gave it a hard shove, pushing her body back onto the fallen pillows. Her hands ran up from her arms to her shoulders and then down to her hips, drumming her fingers on them, tugging on the waistband of her trousers.

"I'm gonna fuck you right here, right now."

A small whine escaped Yubin's lips. Was this what attraction felt like? It felt threatening. But in a good way.

Handong let go of Yubin’s clothes and got off her, laughing to herself whilst doing so. "Anything else you'd like to know, grasshopper?"

"Are you a top or a bottom?"

The smile on Handong's face dropped a bit, as always, when the conversation swerved to be about herself, "Umm… I'm a switch?"

Yubin finally lifted herself off the bed, "A switch?"

"Y-yea, I can be a top and a bottom."

Yubin tilted her head, "What do you think I am?"

"Wellllll, you'll never truly know until you have sex."

"That's great then!" Handong snapped her head to face Yubin, confused at how that could possibly be a good thing, "You're a lesbian: I have a body."

"Wh-where are you going…"

"Have sex with me."

A ruby red blush burned Handong's cheeks, "Wh-wha-ho-"

She began heaving.

Yubin blinked rapidly, unable to process the sharp ninety degree turn in Handong's personality, "Did I say something wrong?"

"You can’t - you can't- You can't just ask someone to-" Handong covered her face and turned her back away from Yubin before sprinting off into her room. Leaving a dazed Yubin, who was extremely confused, still deciding whether or not to pursue her criteria.

Handong slammed the room to her bedroom. Jesus Christ almighty she knew that Yubin was not well versed in tack but that way too much for her to handle. What was a poor soul to do when your crush asks you to have sex with you in a purely experimental and scientific way.

She prayed that tomorrow, Siyeon would be able to stop Bora from going overboard with her icebreakers.

.  
.  
.

Handong had awoken to the unusual sounds of clunking and slipping and shouting before everything went silent. It was a new morning. Today was yesterday’s tomorrow.

All was well and calm in Handong’s house. Yubin had left for work, admittedly quite loudly, and Handong had planned to go shopping with the money left in the vault. Yes, Gaheyon was asleep, and she was smart enough to cast a sleeping spell on her… Which may or may not have a few side effects, who knows, she had made it specifically for herself, so there may be some, there may be none. Or maybe she accidentally did the general one – mistakes happen, even to those that overuse the same spell in a week because of insomnia. It’s fine, side effects, or no, she could fix it easily, she did have Gahyeon’s blood, skin, hair and saliva samples prepared in vials weeks ago anyway. In case things ever went awry.

It may also perhaps have been a nice excuse to see Yubin. Of course, she lived with her and went to work with her. But a little more Yubin in her day wouldn’t hurt anyone.

So when Handong had grabbed her purse and double checked her makeup in the mirror and walked towards the front door, she did not expect it to be locked. Or to not have her keys hooked in their usual spot. That’s strange. She swore she put it there, and the last time she had taken it was for the interview. She searched around in the drawers upstairs and downstairs too, even though the last time she had opened them was Sunday. Another thing she didn’t expect when she was snooping around the house was Yubin’s lunch that the demon made herself to be abandoned on the kitchen island. That stupid kid.

Anyway, Handong had last left the house yesterday, teleporting to Checkpoint no.1 thanks to Yubin, so she definitely had not touched them lately. Nevertheless, she checked again, peeking under pots and plates and leaving no stone unturned. There were no keys. Which meant one thing: Yubin had her keys. 

Okay. Change of plan. She’d find a way out of her house and have Yubin’s ear for making her do unnecessary things, customers in the cafe be damned, and then go shopping. Handong huffed. No, Yubin was not going to be let off with just a stern telling off. Handong went around searching for an exit.

It couldn’t be that hard to escape her own house.

.  
.  
.

Bora had been extremely smug about her winning their secret bet, pushing her luck, she asked Yubin if she was single. None of the two really had expected her to so casually dismiss it with a ‘of course I’m not’ and then continue to wash the dishes as is if she didn’t just drop a huge bomb on them. She never elaborated on who exactly she was dating, but they had certainly expected her to be more secretive about it. 

“I’m married actually.”

Bora squealed, not only because it definitely meant that Yubin and Handong were not a thing, but because she had never mentioned it before? Not a boyfriend, not a girlfriend or fiancé or fiancée or husband. She hardly talked about her personal life during work but still, being married was quite a large thing to just not mention at all.

“WHAT? And you didn’t tell us?”

A few customers had turned their heads at the commotion that the workers were making, the regulars however, used to the loudness of a certain manager, were used to it and couldn’t care less.

“WHO? WHO?”

And before anything could turn messy, Handong flung the door open with the rage of a thousand burning suns. Her hair was less than immaculate – to say the least; she was breathing heavily and deeply; her face, which was pink, and arms were covered in scratches; and some dirt and dust decorated her dress.

“Lee Yubin! You slimy hotdog wiener tell me one good reason you took my keys today!”

Handong stamped her way to Yubin. She jabbed her fingers at her apron once she was close enough and was looking furious, Yubin didn’t even get a chance to speak as Handong had continued her ranting.

“You don’t even need to use my keys! I spent half an hour thinking that I lost them! And then I spent another half an hour trying to crawl out of the windows of my own house! My window!” At least that explained her less than perfect appearance, “You know how humiliating it is to climb out of your own house that you bought and own?”

“Oh.”

“’Oh’? Don’t just ‘oh’ me! Give me your hands.” Yubin did so quickly, afraid of the possibility of angering her anymore, “You left your lunch in the kitchen! I’m even late for my shopping today as well.”

“You don’t need anymore clothes Dong-ah.”

“But you do. I’m tired of you stealing my clothes all the time.”

“Oh. Well… Thank you for everything you did for me today.”

Yubin took in the lunchbox she had forgotten in the panic of being late and awkwardly waited for Handong to calm down, or at least looked like she had calmed down. “Do you want your keys now?”

“’Do you want your keys now?’ No, of course not. I want to be stuck outside of my house forever.”

Yubin pouted, “That’s so mean.”

Abruptly, Handong switched from being sarcastic, “I was just angry and frustrated, okay? I didn't mean to insult you. But I’m not apologising, and really, don’t take my keys anymore.”

She chuckled as Yubin tried to make sense of her quick changes in temperament, “Is that a yes or no then?”

“Give them now please. I am tired of you and I have to live with you.”

“Whatever,” Yubin said as she rolled her eyes, dangling the keys just above Handong’s hand and not letting go, a grin forming on her face as realisation had sunk into Handong's eyes.

“This is a dangerous game you’re playing for someone who doesn’t even help pay the bills sweetheart.”

Siyeon nudged Bora. Bora wedged her elbow into one of Siyeon’s ribs which made her double over and grunt. Nope, simply not enough evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing the final proofread of this before publishing and I miss when things were light hearted :'(


	12. What is this Called?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though, what would you call it other than one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take the fluff and go before it starts going sour

Handong ended up coming back to the cafe just before Yubin’s shift ended with a number of bags in tow. She had waited until Yubin had come out from behind the counter and with no greetings, no formalities to her, grabbed onto her wrist and dragged her out.

Bora waved goodbye to the duo as she saw them retreat back to, what she assumed, was her car. She broke out into a grin.

“Looks like I’m going to win~.”

Siyeon pulled a face, but didn’t back down despite, in Bora’s eyes, her quite obvious loss, “Hmm, just because she’s married doesn’t mean anything, what if she’s cheating on her husband with Handong? Scandalous.”

“Psh, Yubin isn’t the type to cheat on her partner. She’d feel too guilty and come clean in like the first week or so.”

Siyeon was annoyed, to say the least, it hadn’t even been a week and it seemed that all hope was lost at winning her bet, and Bora’s request was… She didn’t know what to think of it. But Siyeon was sure that something was going on between the two new workers, especially since they came together at the same time and left at the same time and never talked about anyone but each other. And wasn’t being married something too huge to not mention once in a while? It was like they were hiding something.

And their eyes. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and if you stared at Handong’s eyes enough, you’d quickly realise that the only thing her soul was full of was Yubin. It was almost sickly how much she sighed and swooned at everything Yubin did. Handong could pretend as much as possible, but nothing flew under Siyeon’s radar. Nothing. Well, nothing that she wanted to see anyway. 

Bora may have been smug about the fact that Yubin didn’t even know what a top or a bottom or a sub and a dom was or that she was married, but she was not going to lose this stupid bet. At the very least, she could do them a favour and set them up. She was sure that Handong would appreciate it anyway. 

Soon, Siyeon would prove Bora wrong. They were finally going to work together with Handong and she was looking forward to winning. Bora may always be right, she’d finally be wrong.

Siyeon snapped out of her daze, “Saturday! Saturday. That’s the deadline. And I’ll prove you wrong on Saturday, just you wait.”

“Yea yeah, sure.”

.  
.  
.

Handong kept dragging Yubin out of the shop, pulling her to the nearest food shop that wasn’t where they worked and plopped all of her belongings into a chair at the corner of the cafe.

“Sit.”

She ignored whatever question Yubin had said and began squinting at the menu that was behind the current employee, “Do you want anything?” Handong mentally cursed how she didn't really plan enough cash to afford much here.

Yubin took a gander at all the desserts on display, there was an oreo cheesecake, a rainbow milk cake, tiramisu. Her eyes however, got snagged by the ice cream cones and then the mint chocolate chip ice cream. “Oh, not really.”

Handong bore her eyes into Yubin's not too keen at how she stammered her response out and then followed her gaze to the frozen section of the counter.

Understanding her uncertainty, Yubin reassured her, “It's fine, I really don’t want anything.”

Handong nevertheless strolled to the counter and ordered, waiting far away from the demon. It didn’t take too long for the order to be finished. Yubin, in that time, had begun to space out and daydream about why she was here of all places. And why she hadn’t even fussed or complained whilst being dragged out of her workplace. Whatever Handong had brought her here for though, would definitely have been more interesting than just coming back home anyway.

She came back with two ice cream cones and one singular plate strawberry shortcake. Its small white plate was placed in front of her, “Eat. Take whatever you want, it's my treat."

Yubin couldn't help reaching out for the mint chocolate chip ice cream, not able to hide the wide grin forming on her face. She hadn’t had anything minty since she arrived here. The decadent smell of dark chocolate wafted its way into her nose and the fresh subtle aroma of mint quickly followed, the seafoam turquoise, almost aquamarine, pigment of the dessert was truly something awe inspiring too. This was truly bliss. As she felt the chilling embrace of ice cream melt away in her mouth, she moaned in delight.

Handong had quickly looked away when she did. Maybe she was embarrassed? Whatever the reason, she didn’t say anything, but paranoid, Yubin stopped moaning.

The two awkwardly sat whilst avoiding eye contact with each other.

“So-”

Yubin looked up to see Handong gesturing her thumb to the right side of her face. 

“Here?”

She kept just missing where the ice cream was. Irritated at Yubin's incompetence, Handong rifled through her purse, pulling out a tissue. Reluctantly, Handong lifted herself off her seat, leaning forward and stretching her hand out, only to quickly sit back down when she saw that Yubin had succeeded. After that awkward exchange, Yubin continued, “So, what are we doing here?”

“Oh. R-right.” Twisting to the side, Handong grabbed one bag and unloaded its contents onto the table, beginning a mini haul and explaining why she got each item in detail to Yubin and why and how to use each one for maximum efficiency in her household. Going over the toiletries first and foremost, and then the makeup she had bought that apparently suited Yubin the most. Then onto skin care and sunscreen and face masks. Then hair ties and headbands and new combs and how she expressed ‘that no matter what, you should not touch any of my beauty products’ now that she had her own.

That wasn't even the beginning, Yubin realised as she panned her face over to the heaping piles of shopping that Handong had gotten done in the course of today.

Thankfully, she had decided to be merciful and not go into another essay of the things she had bought today, instead asking about her day in general.

"Bora asked me if I was single."

Handong blinked a few times.

"I said I was married."

Her jaw unclenched and she began to make sense of what that meant. "Did you - did you mention me?"

There was a hint of anxiety coursing through Handong's face, "Funny thing that, you came in just before they got the chance to ask. She didn’t ask after."

She huffed in what sounded like relief, "Good." Handong reached over the table to slice her fork into the shortcake, only for it to slip on the syrup and send one of the less cooked of the strawberries underneath it flying towards Yubin.

It splat onto Yubin's white t-shirt. Which meant it had splat onto what used to be Handong's white t-shirt.

It slid down, leaving a trail of sugary pink sweetness and irritation down her previously pristine shirt. Yubin carefully picked up the syrup covered fruit and folded it into the tissue that Handong had nearly slapped her with. Well, that was unfortunate. Handong tightened her lips, a frown forming, and leaned closer to the discarded strawberry. Yubin attempted, attempted being the keyword, to distract her from what had just happened.

“Do you like strawberries?”

“Not too much, only when they’re in season.” 

“So were they in season?”

“Not really.”

“Then there’s no reason to be upset.”

Handong stopped scrutinizing the stain on her white shirt and looked up at Yubin’s face, it was sincere and downright airheaded. “That was the worst logic that I have ever heard in my life.” Despite the insulting words and tone of her voice, she smiled. “And it’s not the strawberry I’m worried about, it’s your shirt.” As quickly as she had smiled, she pulled a face of disgust and leaned back.

“I’m sure we have bleach somewhere in the house.”

“If we did, I would have drank it by now.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you just say that if we had bleach you would have drank it?”

Handong sucked her breath through her teeth. “If you knew what I had said, why would you ask?”

Damn. There was something so invitingly aggressive about Handong that made Yubin miss when she was all delirious and tipsy and playful; when she wasn’t sober. Defensive. Would that be the right word to describe it? Yes, Handong was a defensive creature by default who liked to lurk in the shadows and collect information and slink around in her own passiveness. That may have been too harsh. But it was certainly true. Yubin’s train of thought was interrupted.

“Are you okay?”

Yubin looked towards Handong.

“You suddenly looked sad.”

There it was, one of the small signs that Handong didn’t hate her and cared for her. It was few and far between, but more common in the past few days. Yubin said nothing and reached out for the cake, only to not touch the plate. Confused, she looked up to see that Handong had snatched it further away from her, a wry smile peeking through her poker face. Yubin tried again and failed again, as Handong pulled back further. She waited a few more seconds before striking and this time, Handong had pushed the plate forwards and Yubin had missed again.

“Tch, you’re so stupid.”

Offended, Yubin whisked Handong’s wrist into the air before it had the chance to move and then pulled the plate towards herself in triumph. Very vocally expressing her victory and success.

“Take that!” Exclaimed Yubin as she finally got the chance to take a bite of the shortcake.

“There.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not sad anymore.”

And it was true. But it wasn’t that their little game that had made Yubin happy, it was more how Handong had stopped acting like an ass.

“Why are you so mean and then so nice suddenly?”

“...” Handong buffered. One of her eyebrows raised as she began to be deep in thought, in the end, she had settled for not explaining herself, “Just eat the damn cake.”

Yubin didn’t complain of course, not wanting to start conflict when their relationship was already so precariously strained and unstable; when they were intimate they were really intimate, but when they were distant, it seemed like they would rather be in the north pole running away from polar bears than breathe the same air as the other person.

As she cut what would be arguably the perfect slice of the dessert, with just enough syrup and just enough strawberry and whipped cream to counter the savoury almost tart shortcake cake, she tilted her head just enough to catch what Handong was doing.

Handong furrowed her eyebrows as she felt Yubin’s stare more and more at her, “Is there something on my face?”

And then Handong sneezed. When she looked up, she had salted caramel ice cream smeared all over the right side of her face. Yubin couldn’t help but laugh. When Handong had finished fussing over wiping off the ice cream, she looked up to see Yubin offering her cone out in front of her. She hesitated slightly before throwing caution to the wind and eating it.

Yubin’s eyes fixated on her tongue as it peeked through her red lips and scooped the dark chocolate chunks and mint ice cream delicately into her mouth. She sneezed again as soon as she gulped it down and then broke out in a small chuckle.

“I’m kind of allergic to chocolate Yubinnie.”

She was listening to what she said, but she couldn’t help but flash the image of Handong’s tongue running across her upper lip and what she could do with it. If Yubin had known that her heartbeat going erratic at that sight was a sign of falling in love, maybe she would have confessed so much sooner. Instead, she felt the intense hammering and then slowing down of her heart followed by an uncomfortable heat consuming her face and ignored it. No, she had acknowledged it, she had acknowledged that it was happening and dismissed it. And the last she had felt this emotion for someone had ended bitterly. This was fine. This was okay.

Yubin shook her head adamantly, quickly going back to focusing on her food. Crap. She lowered her head, hearing a muffled sound as she did so.

Her sunken head and fallen bangs and provided enough cover for her to peek and gaze at Handong, following fingers and wrist and then how her jaw moved up and down and how her chest rose and fell as she breathed however she pleased without getting caught. Huh, she never realised this, but Handong was really pretty. And the way she'd be blunt at the strangest times made Yubin smile and shake her head so many times and hearing how she laughed even harder at her own stupid gags when Yubin tried her hardest to keep a straight face at only made her smile more. And the way she'd smile so lovingly and make Yubin feel like she hadn't just made a terrible mistake for locking her in her own house made her stomach flutter. And oh my god they were on a date. As soon as she had realised this, Yubin smacked her forehead on the table for not realising this sooner.

It was so obvious. The food, the timing, the sharing. This was a date.

A mildly warm hand stroked her arm. “Do you want to go back home?” There wasn’t enough warmth to dissipate through the fabric and touch Yubin. There was only the ghost of the pressure and touch that grounded her to realise that it was happening.

Yubin shifted her head so it faced outside the window.

“Not really.”

So they awkwardly waited in silence until they’d finished their food and walked home slightly further away than they usually would’ve.


	13. Their Little Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rises.
> 
> Bad decisions are made Handong, and then Yubin.

To say that their sort of date yesterday had ended slightly awkward was cutting it too loose. Yubin pondered on what it was that allowed them to be so close when they were. Why did Yubin want to be close to Handong anyway? There was absolutely no requirement for them to be close, but it felt right. As it had been pointed out several times, by Handong of all people, Yubin may not be the most logical person on earth, but who needs logic anyway. There are times when intuition could and should lead the way. And her intuition was telling her to get closer to Handong. Logic, ergo Handong, be damned.

Maybe Handong should let go of her notion and need of logic and follow her intuition and not vice versa.

At least today Yubin had time to think. Think alone. Think with quality. Think with no rush or heed or pressure. She woke up with an almost empty house and well, an almost empty head. To be honest, she didn’t know how long she could live like this, sure she had spent longer time filling people’s documents and transcribing things than she did living in this household, but that was in non-earth time.

Gahyeon today was quite quiet. Something that she would never take for granted around here, especially since when she was loud, well, she was very loud; there must have been a mega phone jammed just above her vocal chords or something because, well, once again, she was very loud. She needed a better word for loud. Whatever, it wasn’t like she was getting paid for a well thought out monologue that no one can hear anyway.

Yubin sighed.

“What do you think Bora’s asking her today Gahyeon? Don't you think that if I had a phone that yesterday's incident wouldn't have happened?”

No response. Not that she had expected any that made sense from the infant anyway.

“I miss when Handong was open.”

Or maybe Yubin just missed Handong. But that was stupid, how could she miss someone that only ever irritated her with how backwards and strained their relationship was. No, it was nice when she opened up. It was nice when she wasn’t defensive. She was nice. 

Yubin thought back to her date yesterday. Now that she looked back on it, it had been nice . Maybe they should have more.

Wait. No. That was not a normal thought. Yubin didn’t think about things like that. What was wrong with her. Yubin slapped herself twice, and got a grip. This was not happening. Emotions like these only compromised you; she thought back to the beginning of it all, the last assignment and her one mistake that snowballed.

.  
.  
.

‘Are you a lesbian?’

With no sense of subtlety or tact about it, that was what Bora had yelled as soon as she had finished cleaning and sat down after brewing her own coffee.

And what was arguably worse was the fact that Bora did not refuse to give up despite her obvious discomfort. She kept bugging her about it, even pestering her about her ring. It was as if her life depended on her saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Whenever the hub of the cafe died down, and there were no customers, she’d repeat the question in a whispered hushed tone, as if it was going to be a miracle if she were.

At the end of her shift, she keeled and confessed.

“Yes.”

“Are you single?”

“No.”

“Would you like to go on a double date?”

“... Sure?”

When the realisation finally dawned on her that it meant she’d need to actually make an effort to show her fake-true feelings to Yubin she slapped herself in the face.

.  
.  
.

It was Saturday.

Handong was dreading it because she’d put off telling Yubin about the double date she had kind of sort of accepted for too long and decided that she’d do it today. Siyeon was dreading it because there was absolutely no way that her plan would work. And Bora was not dreading anything at all because she clearly had just won ₩ 15,000 and a lap dance from Siyeon.

Nothing particularly outlandish occurred that day, everything had been peaceful and quiet and no weird questions from Bora, no uptight customers, business was doing well. It was the end of the day and nothing bad had happened. Maybe it had been a bit too peaceful. 

“Who is your girlfriend?”

It was Siyeon that asked this time.

.  
.  
.

It was a nice crisp Autumn afternoon and when Yubin returned home, she spotted the leaves around the house had started to break down their chlorophyll and wore a nice shade of yellow ochre with speckles of auburn.

She didn’t expect much to come home to, after all, it had been a normal day. She woke up, showered, got dressed, stroked Nannan, checked on Gahyeon, said her goodbyes to Handong and left the house.

Everything went well, she made the reservation for the restaurant after going over the details with Bora and she had also stopped asking weird questions ever since Handong had spilled the (fake) news. So when she finally unlocked the door properly after many failed attempts - still unused to using it - she did not expect to come back home to the sound of sobbing and clinking of glass.

“Dong-ah?”

There was no reply. A short, almost urgent, meow was heard from Nannan who was nudging Yubin’s leg towards the living room. There, with muddlers and tumblers and syrups and bitters and scales and cocktail stirrers scattered haphazardly across the table, was a nearly unconscious Handong with her face planted squarely on top of a small puddle of… Wine? Vodka? On closer inspection, and smell, it was melted ice.

Yubin crouched on one knee, getting a closer look at her face: she tried again, “Handong?”

Her head lifted off the table ever so slightly before dropping back. Wearily, Yubin hovered a hand over her shoulder, about to shake or lift her, until her head swung back and she nearly lost her balance.

“Yu~bin, 's that you?”

Confused, Yubin let her hands gently press down on Handong’s shoulders so that she’d stop wobbling and wouldn’t go off balance or potentially hurt herself.

“Yubin. Yubin. Haha, your name sounds funny, Yubin. Or was it Dami?” A sharp spike of energy cut through her before dying down again. “Didn’t that come up?”

She furrowed her brows, not only at the small jab she made on her name, but because this wasn’t Handong behaviour, she drank, almost everyday (her poor liver), but seeing how many bottles left unscrewed there were and how uncharacteristically messy it was led her to believe that today was not ‘everyday’.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier and y’know. Why not?”

“What do you mean?”

Handong, after a few minutes of deliberate silence, elaborated, "I'll have sex with you."

Yubin chuckled at the absurdity of it all. "Was it necessary to drink all of that alcohol beforehand?" A careful hand swiped the corner of Handong's lips where drool was forming; there was no way that she was going to take advantage of her precarious state like this, even if it was what sober Handong wanted, "Am I that bad looking?" 

Not understanding her sarcasm, Handong answered truthfully, "Nooooooo. It's so I don't fall in love with you more."

An inkling of curiosity sprouted. Yubin knew better than to pry, but it was tempting, apparently too tempting, "'More'?"

"Yeah. I fucking love you, you know? No homo. No - wait - pro homo. In fact, alllllll the homo. I think I fell in love aaaaaages ago. An' y'know how hard it was to hide it? I mean you're undeniably beautiful and handsome and pretty and cute but like your personality isn't all a bag of flaming shit either too.

I just - I just don't think that it's fair that - that the one person I end up having a crush on here is the one that is confused, potentially aromantic annnnnnd the one I have to pretend to marry too. God, this is clearly going nowhere. I'm going nowhere."

Yubin lifted Handong up.

"So do you still want sex because I think I am hammered enough to not remember the fucking part but not enough to be a shitshow in bed."

"Dong-ah… Are you telling me the truth?"

"Of course I am, I am 100% a switch; top, bottom who cares? Be both!"

She threw her head back and began laughing.

"No!” Yubin would definitely regret saying this, “I meant about you liking me… Romantically."

"I mean yea, I am drunk and I can barely sit up straight, ha ha straight, let alone form complex lies Miss no wait… Mrs Lee Yubin. Get it? Because we're married."

The hands holding Handong up faltered and her body hit the ground with a soft smack, “So do you like it kinky or vanilla or...? Because I can tooootally work with any. As long as you don't do any teasing. That shit's… No."

Shaking her head at her antics, Yubin left to grab a towel.

“Hey, wait, wh - where are you going? Yubinnie don’t leave me. Please. I - I don’t want you to leave. I’ll do anything, just don’t leave. Yubin?”

Yubin stopped, “I’m just going to get things to clean you up. Okay? I promise I won’t leave.”

“Pinky?”

Yubin sighed, turning around to see a hand stuck up in the air with the pinky finger poised to link with hers, “Pinky.” She hooked them together and walked into the kitchen.

.

Yubin thought about it harder and harder. There was no way that it was true. She rethought her opinion, but it made so much sense: why Handong had ignored her for the first month; why she was so scared about being married to her; why she was so red or pink around her; why she had decided to call her by a pet name; why she was so disappointed at Yubin's ignorance of her own sexuality; why she brought her out on a date as if she was in love.

It was because she was.

In prospect, the double date did not sound good anymore. But she'd be damned if she didn't already sign up to this. It was so… Yubin didn't know what to think. Was she supposed to feel flattered? Weirded out? Relieved? How was it going to affect their relationship? How could Yubin even look at Handong in the same way? 

Yubin couldn't deal with it. There were too many voices and too many opinions and too many conflicting feelings about this whole situation. 

All Yubin wanted was time alone. Time to mull over what to do next very strategically and fully comprehend her situation. But she had realised this too late. She had already accepted the double date and to put it lightly, Yubin was dreading it.

She bet Handong was dreading it too. Knowing her, she was probably freaking out in the basement and having an argument with herself… Or with Gahyeon or Nannan - maybe both.

That Monday, Handong did not come to work.

.  
.  
.

Yubin didn't offer her hand when guiding her through the shadows; that was the first thing Handong noted. 

Yubin didn't walk close enough to bump shoulders with her. Another uncharacteristic thing.

Yubin didn't stop her from downing nearly all of the whiskey from her cabinet this morning and Yubin didn't share eye contact with her and smile and then assure her that everything was going to be alright.

Yubin didn't look at her once.

Handong didn't think it was possible to be hurt by silence so much when all she did was thrive in it, but this was too much to bear. Not excluding the fact that despite having taken so many potions and spells and enchantments, she could still feel the alcohol in her system drag her down.

Hey, at least she wasn't drunk.

They reached their destination, a taut string between them and so many unspoken words lingering in the air. It was Yubin that initiated, she linked her arm with Handong's and slapped the best smile she could on her face before entering the restaurant. Handong, seeing that Yubin was going to pretend as if nothing had happened the last few days, did so too. She didn't want to disappoint Bora and Siyeon (were they dating then? Or was it one of those girlfriend as in a friend that’s a girl situation) not after all the trouble they went through for them.

When the waiter came to start off with the drinks, Handong jumped at the opportunity to drink more, having forgotten that her magic only dispelled the effects of drugs taken before and not after doing them.

"You weren't kidding when you said that she was a heavy drinker," said Bora as she ordered for beer, whilst Yubin opted for wine and Siyeon, cola.

Bora pointed at Handong's left hand, the pink ring glistening different shades of magenta and fuschia, "Is that ring an engagement ring? Because only Dongie wears it."

"It's," gaining confidence from their openness and how well they had previously received her information, she told them just a fraction of their fake elaborate backstory, "It's my engagement ring."

“It’s really pretty,” commented Siyeon, who began inspecting it more, “It almost looks unreal because of how perfect it is.” She tilted her head and moved her body so that she could get a better angle of it.

“Wait!” Bora leaned over the table and grabbed the collar of Yubin's blazer, shaking her violently. “You never told us how you got married! It’s not even legal here!”

Unable to reply, Yubin waited patiently until Bora stopped shaking her so she could reply properly.

She released her from her grip. After composing herself and flattening out the lapels of her blazer, Yubin answered truthfully - as truthfully as a whole web of lies was that is.

"We had it done in Australia."

.  
.  
.

Wine may not have been the best option for Yubin, especially considering her small body and low alcohol tolerance and how she hadn't drank in centuries.

But Yubin needed liquid courage to power through the night and act like Handong's distance and strange behaviour and new information wasn't bothering her. Apparently Handong needed it too, judging by how she swirled and sipped even Yubin's drink and giggled as she wrapped an arm around Yubin's waist sloppily and poked her cheek and mumbled words of affection and praise.

So in retaliation, Yubin snuggled with Handong more, challenging her. Handong responded by sliding a hand down to her thighs, pinching her skin and leaving as quickly as she arrived: Yubin's heart skipped a beat. Her stomach twisted. She could feel a heat fill her head and make her lightheaded. She flippantly blamed the alcohol.

Two could play the game that Handong was playing anyway. Yubin slipped a hand on top of Handong's thigh. Revelling in the way Handong's breathing faltered and a blush rose up her neck. Her hand laid there, and nothing Handong did drew it back, not subtle nudges or shifting away. In fact, Yubin only leaned in further towards Handong and slid her hand further in her thigh and further up her skirt, her fingertips drawing abstract lines and shapes.

Yubin remembered what Handong had said. 

She hated being teased. This counted as teasing, no?

Something about the way that Handong became pliable when she touched her, the way she pulled her lips tightly to stop herself from making noises delighted Yubin. 

Something in watching Handong hiss breathily, shakily, whisper her name, or squirm and struggle, as her lower lip trembled and her hands clenched in tight fists as her ears began to burn a bright shade of crimson, delighted her.

And every breath Handong took in hopes of clearing her head away or focusing on something else or to stop the arousal she was feeling was in vain. Her head couldn't stop jumping to conclusions and her mind was filled rampant with dirty thoughts. This fucking Lee Yubin. She was going to murder her when they arrive home.

Except that was definitely not what she did to Yubin when they got back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare yourself for chapter 15


	14. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm... smexy times ahead. You have been warned

Handong leaned her body onto Yubin's, clearly having overestimated her ability to handle alcohol.

She wasn't… She wasn’t drunk exactly, more like teetering between tipsy and about to make a bad decision. But Yubin couldn't comment on Handong's ability to tolerate alcohol when she had barely drunk a quarter - or was it half? - of what Handong did but still managed to become tipsy.

Bora and Siyeon had offered to take them home, but Yubin declined, saying that she already had a ride for them on their way. She wasn't lying of course, but their ride was neither taxi or uber; instead, a grumpy looking grey cat greeted them in Checkpoint No.1.

When they arrived home, Yubin tripped over her feet and unceremoniously dropped Handong on her bed. Half on the floor, she examined the strange feeling of the carpet. Huh, this was the first time she had ever been inside of her room, it was messy and not so messy at the same time. And the bed sheets smelled like her. God she could just sniff it over and over again.

“Yu- Yunnbiin?”

Somehow, Yubin understood what she meant and smacked her hand onto the desk pushing something over, and crawled on her. There, she sat just below Handong’s waist, sandwiched by her legs, she ignored how perverse their position was - it was fine, Handong could barely sit up straight, let alone be capable of remembering any of this, which was something that she’d probably experience too. With a wet wipe she found on the desk, she began rubbing her make-up off; if she didn't, she'd definitely get an earful tomorrow - something even tipsy Yubin knew to fear after she had forgotten the last time Handong had become this drunk.

Lifting Handong's torso off the bed, Yubin undid Handong's half-up half-down ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair to ensure there were no tangles. Handong's hair was soft and shiny and fluffy, and with that in mind, Yubin began playing with it, her shortened attention span enjoying ruffling Handong's hair and massaging her scalp. Handong reacted by letting out a soft moan.

Yubin's heart fluttered. Wasn’t this what Handong was talking about when she was talking about being in love? This was the same thing it did when she first felt it alive stirring in her chest. Was it always meant to make her feel this weak and helpless?

She trailed her hands down from Handong's head to her face.

Her eyes burned the sight of Handong's lidded eyes, dilated pupils, her smirk and the way that her lips, so red and raw from having lipstick scrubbed off, was just begging to be enveloped by her own.

Yubin's first time in centuries lacking sobriety gave way to a tsunami of subconscious and repressed and unvoiced emotions.

This was… This was fine right? She wouldn’t remember anyway. Plus what was it that Handong had said earlier? That she’d be hammered enough not fall in love but not enough to fuck badly. That meant that it’d happen to her too right? She’d just try. She’d never get another chance anyway.

So happily excused and superbly mistaken, Yubin cupped Handong's jaw and leaned in to peck her on the lips. Just to try and see how amazing kissing would be. Just to try and see if it was as amazing as Handong described it. 

A tingling sensation was left on her lips as she pulled back. There were no explosions or sparks. She deflated, disappointment sinking inside her for some reason.

Until Handong wrapped her legs around Yubin's waist and rolled around, pinning her arms up.

There was a definite warmth radiating from Handong's body as she felt her thighs press onto her body. One hand snaked its way around the back of Yubin's neck and pulled, enticing her to yet another kiss. 

Yubin didn't refuse, didn't want to. The hand rose up and tilted her into a better angle. There, Handong slid her tongue into her mouth, ever so gently sucking and moving her tongue around, inviting Yubin to do the same. It was warm and wet and welcoming and everything that Yubin had hoped it to be; the lingering smell of alcohol was still on her breath, tongue, body. There was crackling and lights and fireworks.

As Handong pulled back, she sank her teeth onto Yubin's lower lip and pulled. Yubin’s eyes fluttered as Handong's flushed face came into focus. Her supple lips grazed the tip of her nose as they both breathed deeply to catch their breath. God was this woman beautiful. 

Again Handong leaned in, this time, gnawing on one of Yubin's earlobes. The hot air blowing near her ear flipping and contorting her stomach.

It was a barely audible whisper, “Is this - is this how you want it to be?”

Yubin was confused, and it must have shown in her face.

“Is this how you want to have sex? Drunk? Messy? Untidy? Unplanned?”

She thinks she understood what she was saying. Handong’s insecurities were revealing themselves bit by bit, and they were more beautiful exposed than covered. “I don’t care, as long as it’s with you Dong-ah.”

Handong lifted herself up again. Mischief flooded Handong’s veins as she began to remove her articles of clothing meticulously. First: her shirt, peeling off her flushed skin; then her skirt, tugged down by the hem; then her bra slowly, strap by strap, came off. Leaving her only in her panties. It was an agonisingly long show. 

Yubin breathed heavier, she wondered what it was like to run her hands across her toned stomach and long legs. She wanted to feel how Handong moved and bent to her own touches and hear how she moaned her name when climaxing.

Handong's honey voice pierced through their silence again and it dripped with lust, “Tell me - tell me everything. Tell me what feels good, what feels better, what feels bad, what hurts.” Her mumbling mouth travelled down from her ear and planted wet kisses along her jaw. 

Warm air danced along her neck and crawled down to her collarbone and she began to experiment with what Yubin liked. Her teeth skimmed her already wet skin. She hovered above that spot waiting for a response.

“It - It’s good.”

“What if I bite?”

She felt teeth lightly clamp on one of her vital points - a trembling mew barely vocalised itself from Yubin’s vocal cords. 

“Ha-Harder please.”

She followed the lines of her tendon, each bite harder and harder until she stopped where her collarbone met her sternum. She pinched small slivers of her skin and she travelled further down until she reached her shirt collar. She went back up to suck on her skin. 

“What - what are you doing?”

“I’m making a hickey. Do you not like it?”

“It - it makes me feel hot.”

So Handong continued, being gentle with her bruising and ensuring that she didn’t overdo it. Each area where her mouth lingered to mark Yubin burned with fervor. Yubin clamped her legs shut. There was a pool of desire dripping between her legs and it only got wetter with every touch Handong carefully administered.

In the dim light of the room, Handong could see just how aroused Yubin was, her once pale skin was bright red and the colour travelled down from her head all the way past her chest, at least until where her shirt had been unbuttoned.

The rest of her shirt began to be undone, unveiling just how deep her reddened skin went. Even through the fabric, Handong could see the peaks of hardened nipples showing. She really was aroused. A hand slipped to her back, undoing her bra and it came off along with the shirt. 

“Would you be okay with restraints?”

“I think so.”

“Just tell me if it - if it gets too uncomfortable.”

Just as she was about to question where she’d be able to get restraints from, Handong cast a verbal spell and Yubin felt rope tightly squeezing her wrists together and then another one tying her low to the bed.

“Is it okay?”

Yubin could only nod.

Then she felt herself getting flipped over so she was the one on top.

“Turn around for me honey.”

She did so with Handong’s hands at her waist to ground her and settle her down in the right position. Yubin was laying on top of Handong. She could feel erect nipples poke at her back. She could feel soft breasts cushion her back. She could feel controlled, laboured breathing and constant and consistent hot air blowing onto the back of her ear. Yubin pushed her legs further together as she felt more of her juices slide down into her underwear. They must have been ruined by now.

She heard a small laugh. “You know how annoying you were during dinner?” Said Handong. She caressed Yubin’s knees, working up to her legs and rubbed ghostly circles on them, “All night you were just teasing me.”

Her hands dipped into Yubin’s inner thighs, the touches and traces getting lighter and lighter as she continued further up. Yubin’s breathing began to become haggard.

She stopped. 

Her hands left her thighs and instead followed the shape of her hips and travelled up to her waist, her thumbs massaging tight circles as if to tell Yubin what she was missing out.

“You can’t just turn someone on and leave them you know.”

Yubin whimpered as she felt more and more of her essence flow down from her core. Handong’s hands glided down Yubin, dropping to the inner bend of her knee, spreading them slightly open.

Fingertips traced large circles across her legs, they danced along her hamstrings and quads and even dipped down to her calves - but not for long, never too long. They always seemed to find a nice cozy home on her inner thigh; where the touches became almost non existent and so tender that it seemed her thighs were made of porcelain with the way Handong treated them.

“You were driving me so wild.” Handong grabbed her legs spread them slowly, hearing how tacky and sticky her skin was and feeling how Yubin’s legs quivered in anticipation, “And you just sat there, so innocent,” her voice dropped, giving it a hoarseness and raspiness Yubin never thought she would hear, “And acting like you weren’t teasing me, or arousing me, or making so very, very wet.”

Yubin gulped. Every word was punctuated with a killing intent and every syllable grumbled out made her desire drip down into her underwear more and more. Handong slipped her hand into her panties and dragged it up and down her entrance, teasing her but also covering them in Yubin’s juices. She retracted her hand, earning a whine from Yubin.

“Hmm, you taste so good honey. I should have eaten you out instead.”

Yubin blushed from the apparent compliment and felt her ears go red at the image of Handong below her, going down on her pussy and licking her and lapping her up. The image distracted her enough to be surprised when she felt a cool but warm finger slide slowly inside of her. Yubin crumbled at the feeling. Handong gave her weak slightly twisting thrusts as she readied her for more.

“Is it too much?”

“N-not at all.”

“Then would it be okay if I put another one in?”

Handong felt Yubin nod, so she slowly inserted another finger. A moan was immediately coerced from her. 

“It feels good.”

So Handong pushed them in. And pulled them out. Gently getting her used to the feeling and making sure not to make it too painful for her. Yubin began panting as she picked up her pace.

“I’m going to touch your G-spot, okay?”

A nod.

“Most like it, some don’t, just tell me if it’s uncomfortable honey.”

Her two fingers curled inside of Yubin as she pushed in deeper than before. A wail was fished out. She did it again, unsure if it was out of pain or pleasure. Or maybe both. She subconsciously paused as she tried to differentiate between the two (the three?).

“It’s good! It’s good. Just don’t slow down baby.”

Handong smirked: she followed Yubin’s commands.

“D-Dong-ah, harder, harder.”

A shriek was torn out from her.

“Dong-ah, faster - yes! Yes! Just like that! Keep going.”

Handong strategically kept the pace, not going slower or faster or harder. She trusted Yubin and just kept fucking her at that speed.

“Dong - Don - Do - I think I’m gonna come.”

She felt the telltale clenching of walls, how the friction had increased and how it got harder to push inside of her.

“Fuck! Jesus Christ! Go faster go faster go faster. Fuck fuck fuck. Dong-ah~~!”

Yubin began to squirm and thrash against her restraints, bucking against her hand, rubbing her wrists raw, but it didn’t stop Handong from fingering her. No, she had kept going in spite of Yubin nearly suffocating her and elbowing her and knocking her jaw even despite how she had a limited range of movement. She went faster and harder just as Yubin suggested and she garnered more squeals and shrieks.

And in the end, she reaped the benefits of not stopping as Yubin screamed and moaned and cried out her name over and over again and arched her back away from the bed, away from Handong as she twitched and convulsed in the wanton amount of pleasure that struck her at the peak of her climax.

Even after Yubin flopped ungracefully back onto Handong, Handong kept pushing in and out, slowing down as Yubin became unable to ride the high of her first orgasm anymore.

Handong slipped away from underneath Yubin only to push herself down onto her. Was she even drunk anymore? She couldn’t have been, right? She kissed her forehead.

“You did so so well honey. I'm proud of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahakakakkkeeke I can't wait until chapter 15


	15. To Lie and to Use

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yubin is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: sexual assault:  
> You could argue that it's not, but it's important to remember that having past intimacies doesn't automatically give you consent!

Yubin’s wrists burned. Her throat felt tender, she had a throbbing headache at the side of her temples and a thirst for water she never knew she could have. And everytime she looked down at Handong (who had the misfortune of flopping onto Yubin and promptly blacking out), a strange fluttering occurred in her stomach. Well, since Handong was stirring awake now, she could begin to question what had happened for her to be in this position, underneath Handong, naked and tied up.

"How did - How did I get here? Can you free me?"

Yubin felt Handong's chest compress away from her and then expand against her as she started to laugh, there wasn’t an ounce of happiness in her dry laughter, "Maybe.”

Just after a minute had elapsed, Handong managed to lift herself off Yubin’s body. With practiced efficiency, she clasped the restraints in her hands and waited for it to dissolve into thin air. It was - not to toot her own horn - one of her more cool spells that she had developed, she had used it a lot to feign being captured before escaping quickly into another province in the dead of the night. The good times.

Finally free, Yubin began to sit upright, the world spun underneath her and she lost her balance despite having her hands planted firmly on the bed. When she had finally gotten used to the nauseous feeling of being conscious, she felt a cool palm push her back down and the strangely familiar sensation of legs around her waist and soft skin pressing onto hers was there again. She was trapped.

“You know I have a crush on you.”

Yubin nodded.

“Because I drunkenly told you two days ago.”

Another nod.

“And yet,” She paused. In that deliberate pause, Handong placed her hands on Yubin’s shoulders and leaned forwards, “You did what you did yesterday: explain yourself.”

There was an odd pounding in her chest and her body had begun sweating. Yubin did not like how Handong could cause this, and definitely did not like any part of the uncomfortableness it imparted in her. Her brain strained to remember what happened after the two started to discuss how Siyeon and Bora had placed a bet on them.

“I…” Her mouth seized and her brain lagged, this was not normal, “I don’t know...”

Handong leaned further, scrutinising Yubin’s face, “You don’t know what?”

Handong. Handong… She remembered how she had teased her when drunk, how she offered to become her human crutch, how she dragged her to her bed, how she wiped her makeup off. How everything that happened last night fell into place. Shit. Her eyes widened and she tried to scramble away from the woman who had just taken away her virginity.

“I can’t - I don’t - I don’t know why I - I don’t know why I let you kiss me! I don’t know why I let you fuck me. I don’t know why anything happened last night! Okay?”

The witch only leaned further to her response.

Handong was too close, the dizzying smell of her disappearing perfume that was sprayed just underneath her jaw, the fruity sweet smell of wine, the piercing stench of alcohol and the saltiness from their sweat all mingling with each other in an overwhelmingly pleasant manner. 

Her hair skimmed over Yubin’s jaw and tickled her lips in such a way that it reminded her of their kiss last night. Her first kiss. No, her first proper kiss. And it was with Handong.

“If I recall properly,” Handong’s hands trailed from her bare shoulders to her neck, short nails grazing a particularly bad hickey, “You were the one that kissed me.”

The idea of kissing her was so foreign but she couldn’t deny the pleasure and passion that she had done it and continued with and it was almost as if she liked it and it wasn’t just something done in her drunken stupor. 

The memories of last night, and not just the memories: the details, the sensations, the emotions, the push and pull during their double date filled her head. She distinctly remembered screaming and moaning Handong’s name as if it would bring forth the second coming of Jesus himself. She remembered how excited and aroused she was. She remembered how desperate she was to come and how she begged and pleaded for more and more and just remembering it made her core light on fire.

Fuck. What was going on with her body? Why was it reacting to her thoughts that way? She shouldn’t be feeling this way. She can’t be feeling this way. It was a liability at best, and a weakness that could be used at her beck and call at worst.

Yubin glanced away from Handong’s staring.

“Look at me.”

Yubin turned her head further to the side and tried to pry Handong off her. No, looking at her meant accepting her situations, her actions, her feelings. Her feelings? No, no. No. This was going all wrong.

She twisted underneath her. This wasn’t supposed to be how the night was meant to end. She wasn't supposed to get that drunk, she wasn't supposed to kiss Handong back with so much passion and care, she wasn’t supposed to fall for the way she made her body move and react; all she wanted to know was what it was like to kiss someone, what it was like to be have sex; it wasn’t supposed to be this way. This feelings thing was not supposed to be part of it all.

Didn’t Handong imply that if they were drunk that none of their feelings would get involved? That she wouldn’t fall in love more? That she wouldn’t get hurt?

The hand touching her neck shot up to grip her chin and pulled her head to face her, “Look at me.”

She had no choice. She could only avoid her for so long when all she could see was her face. She caved in only to see doe eyes catapult so much expectation and disappointment into hers. There was so much pressure and so little time.

“I’m fine with you not knowing why you did things, you were clearly tipsy and not in the right state of mind; I’m fine with you not returning my feelings back; but if you dare accuse me of doing something that we both know I did not do, I am not going to punish you in a way that leaves you pleasured, got it?”

Her brain pushed the first instinctual words out of her vocabulary before she had the time to think through her response, “Get - get off me.”

And as much as she tried, Yubin could only hope to be freed.

“Are you scared? Are you scared of me?”

There was fear in her own eyes, and she knew Handong could see it.

God there so much to mull over and her emotions were all shouting and vying for attention and her first reaction was to just run and stop the course of time so she could quietly brood and wonder and hope and comprehend everything that had happened and everything that she wished didn’t happen.

“What are you so afraid of Yubin?” Afraid? She wasn’t afraid, who was there to fear? Her, Handong? 

“I’m going to be late.”

“Talk to me!”

Her voice was a robust bullet that cut through all of Yubin’s excuses. Yes, she was scared. Yes, they did need to talk. But it was all Yubin could do to not spout out the first thing that came into her head.

“Okay, so what if I am scar-”

“Stop being so fucking difficult!” Difficult? Of all the people in the world, Yubin was the one being difficult?

“You know what? Fuck you! Fuck you and your stupid little crush and your stupid fucking mouth! I’m confused and frustrated and I just need space to think, can’t you understand? Why do you have to be such a condescending b-!” Handong shoved her face to the side, cutting her off, she didn’t want to hear her finish that sentence.

“Fucking fine then!”

“Good!” Yubin spat out as she saw her bare back lean down and pick up the forgotten pieces of clothing from yesterday and then retreat angrily out of her own room.

Yubin leaned back onto the headboard, she remembered what she saw last night, the familiarity of seeing Handong’s naked body and the same urge to want to make her kneel and coo and purr and - what the fuck? She let out an angry shout. What was going on with her brain. She shouldn’t be feeling or thinking these things, or things in general; attachment was bad, very very bad. Yubin screamed again in frustration. Why now? Why her?

What was it about her that made Yubin so dizzy and impulsive; what was it about her that made her heart accelerate as if she had just ran a mile; what was it about her that made all her thoughts and sentences and emotions swirl together into a maelstrom of calamity? Was it because she was a witch? Was that it? But she had made contracts with witches before. Then why? Why Handong of all people?

Yubin slammed her head back onto the headboard; the action only reminding her of last night and how exhilarating it was when Handong's body slithered down hers and how every kiss and hickey, however sloppy and wet, burned searing holes of ecstasy onto her skin. Even thinking about it left her body craving for more.

Was this always what attraction was like? Was this deep recess in her chest that made her body double over in physical pain because of the sheer anxiety always part of loving someone?

Her hands covered her eyes so all she could see was black. Fuck. Shit. What did she really want? Did she want more sex? Did she want Handong? Was it all because she was drunk? Or did her drunkenness allow her emotions to be strong enough to surface and stay afloat enough to guide her actions and words. She didn’t know. She didn’t know what she wanted, what she felt, what to do.

But she needed to know. She needed to find out again.

Fuck it right? She’d already ruined so much of their tedious progress. 

Determined, Yubin carelessly threw the sheets off her and stormed off to find Handong.

Her bedroom, that was the first place she checked. And she was right, curled up in Yubin’s bed was Handong, clutching one of Yubin’s hoodies closer to her face.

She didn’t turn around when she heard the door open.

“Dong-ah?”

Nothing.

“Dong...”

Yubin was still half naked, Handong only in her panties, and at this point, she didn’t care. How could Handong just fuck her and then expect everything to be normal? How could Handong just make her feel like the only person in the world, standing high on a shining pedestal, and then drop her to the ground whenever she pleased? Did she not think about the consequences? Did she not think how unfair it was? Did she not think that Yubin could like her back?

She ripped the sheets off Handong along with her own hoodie and straddled her just like Handong had done a few hours ago. Did she not know how fucking delirious and crazy she was making her? Did she not know how badly she wanted to remain apathetic but was failing so fucking miserably? Did she not know that it was all her fault?

She grabbed Handong’s face and pushed it onto hers. Their lips locked, but not for long. Handong shoved her backwards.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Yubin willfully ignored her and pinned her down and continued kissing, her tongue massaged Handong’s and danced with it. Their eyes closed and their breathing synchronised into shallow pants. Handong moaned into the kiss as they slowed down their rhythm, Yubin’s hands trailed from her jaw to her neck to her shoulders.

Yubin travelled lower and lower down her body. Her tongue hovering precariously above her skin.

The way she could feel every tremble and quiver of Handong’s body and how she arched further and further away from the bed as she moaned and moaned exhilarated her and set her core back on fire. How her muscles contracted sporadically against the hands she had splayed on her back made her go faster and harder and stronger. How her knees buckled at every lick and lap only drove her to do more.

Yubin was sure that if she could, she would get high on how Handong sang her name in response to her fingers curling as she pushed them in and out. Or how she yelled ‘Oh God’ and ‘Jesus Christ’ at the top of her lungs as if she wasn’t being fucked by a demon at 6 in the morning whilst hungover.

It was so sinful. It was so base. It was so carnal. And Yubin loved every part of it. She loved every second, every minute, every tiny reaction, every miniscule and operatic sound she forcefully dragged out of her throat and every jerk she squeezed out of her body and how she wrung the pleasure from her orgasm so hard and so dry that even after she had stopped, Handong’s body was left a twitching mess as if her circuits had been over fried.

If this was what love was like, she’d much rather this than feel vulnerable and weak and helpless at the rear end of an actual relationship. If this was what love was like, she preferred it to her heart skipping three beats.

Yubin got up. She treasured how sweet it was to observe Handong’s icy walls being smashed down at every scream and squeal of delight. 

In her eyes, Handong had never looked more beautiful, surrounded by the debris of her broken walls, so small and tiny from the vantage point of Yubin’s high altar. God, she could crush her from here and no one would notice.

And maybe that was how Yubin preferred it. Maybe Yubin preferred it when she was the one to not hurt, where she was the one not being helpless, where she was the one to not feel naked and afraid and susceptible to anything. Where she was the one in control.

Yubin was careful to swipe the juices off her face and careful to go to the bathroom to clean up. She needed to go to work after all. Leaving a disoriented Handong who could barely make sense of what had just happened sprawled out on the bed completely naked. 

Handong saw Yubin walk away without the decency to explain herself. Fuck.

What just happened. Was that a fever dream or a wet dream or real life because right now, she needed an explanation. Handong was far from actually processing anything. What did Yubin just do? Didn’t she say that she was confused about everything yesterday? Didn’t she say that being fucked by her was a mistake? Did she just do that to her despite saying she needed space?

Of all the things to be feeling, joy (?), excitement, confusion, violated may have been the one that stood out to her the most. She felt raw and unprotected how the sturdy walls of her house nor her enchantments did nothing to ward off how uneasy and exposed she was.

Wasn’t this supposed to feel good? Wasn’t she supposed to feel good after? Then why. Why, when Yubin had come home later that day, drunk and fatigued. Hugging her and kissing her and peppering her neck with hickeys and clinging onto her as a spent swimmer with driftwood, did it not feel good. Why did the gnawing feeling of anxiety bubble up and out of her mouth as jitters and shivers. Why did, despite being aroused and wet, she not find herself enjoying when she fucked Yubin again, or when Yubin peaked, yelling out ‘Dong-ah’ for what felt like the hundredth time that night, did she not smile and riddle Yubin with gentle words. Why did she refuse her offer in return and why did she feel like she had simultaneously betrayed and been betrayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What monster would write this?" I say as I edit and continue to make their relationship more pear-shape than it was originally drafted to be.


	16. Nothing as Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bora gives Handong some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Same as last time
> 
> I'm sorry

It was nearly the end of her shift, she could tell by how little customers were coming and how eager they were to leave the shop once they received their orders. Handong began to feel disheartened to see the sun setting and the room dimming as the only light source became the LED lights of the café because it meant she'd have to face Yubin.

“Things going rough in your relationship?”

For once, Handong was glad that Bora had asked one of her pushy questions.

“You could say that.”

“I’m sure that it’ll work it out soon, I mean, you’re married. It can’t be the first or last time you fight.”

She sighed at the inherent irony of it. Apparently alcoholism, stupidity and cowardice were all contagious.

Bora continued trying to cheer her up, “You know what they say right? Communication is key.” Bora had only managed to make Handong sigh even more and hang her head lower. Handong had yet to stop sulking, still tugging around that raincloud floating just above her head. She had never seen her this, frankly, pathetic. Where was the bite? The sarcasm? They were gone, disappeared into thin air, along with her positivity.

“How’s you and Siyeon? Are you guys even a thing?”

“Well… I don’t really know what to call us. I know we went on a double date with you, but she’s so distant sometimes and doesn’t like to be emotional you know? It’s hard to get her to open up sometimes so I haven’t tried to force a label on us yet: we agreed to not see other people though, so I guess we’re becoming more serious now.”

Oh. That sounded like her situation right now, except the part where they both come to terms and agree on something because, once again, one of the two was hiding away from each other. What was a solid and healthy relationship but the opposite of whatever Yubin and Handong were doing?

“Go.”

Handong looked up from the counter.

“I’m letting you go early, I’m sure I can handle whoever comes anyway.” Bora patted Handong’s back and rubbed her shoulder, “I can’t bear to see you so sad. Go and fix whatever mess you or Yubin made and don’t come back to work unless you’ve stopped mopping.”

“A-are you sure?”

Bora smiled, “You need it.”

Handong gave Bora a short but tight hug before running off into the staff room, finding a strange new purpose in her day. 

She could do this! Cool, calm, collected; that was all she needed to be. Communication is key! She would talk to her and express her feelings no matter what Yubin does or says.

“Go get her tiger!”

That was the last time that Bora ever saw or remembered Handong.

.  
.  
.

Maybe... Maybe. Maybe Yubin could see what Handong saw in alcohol. It made her forget. Forget all the feelings she thought she could never have. Forget all those urges she repressed. It muffled the sounds that her brain kept replaying over and over. It dulled the pain of seeing Handong’s sad and disappointed, but mainly sad, face as she abandoned her to go of to who the fuck knows - work, she was probably going to work. Or maybe it was Handong who was going to work.

God damn it. How could anyone like the haze and fog or lack of clarity that came with being drunk?

To hell with drugs. They’re too expensive anyway. And money was not. Money wasn’t for spades. They didn’t have spades in money. Whatever, spades of, spades in, cloves, clubs, who cares; metaphors are not what she cared about now.

The door slammed open. Was that Handong? Nonsense, it was far too early for her to come back. Or was it? Yubin looked around the room, only now realising that there were no clocks in the room. Who needed clocks anyway. Yubin did not have the time for that. Ha. No time for that.

Well. At least Handong was back. Her favourite person on earth, as long as she was not sober, or she’s not sober. It doesn't matter. At least not to Yubin. Not now anyway.

Yubin stumbled her way to the front door.

Handong cleared her throat. "Yubin."

Despite being extremely not right in the mind and hammered and not okay in the head in the slightest - which all meant similar things, but coherent thoughts were not really a thing that happened when you were not thinking properly, or at all - Yubin had managed to weasel enough of her attention onto Handong's accessories. Or more specifically, lack thereof, as she spotted that she was not sporting the ring she had given to her a week and a few days ago.

"I wanted to -"

"You're - you're not wearing my ring."

Yubin took a few uncoordinated steps forward.

"W-well. So what if I didn't?"

Yubin slammed a hand just next to Handong's head, making her ears ring with how loud and close the sound was. She leaned in, not seeming to care about how Handong flinched when she came closer towards her.

"Nothing much. It'll just… it'll just be interesting is - is all."

Yubin jammed a knee between Handong's legs. Already, she could feel her body react to what she did, her face had begun to blush pink, her breaths had become shallower and her pupils had dilated so so so much.

Yubin stroked her free hand down Handong's cheek, "It's okay baby. I'll take good care of you."

-Shit, this isn't how it was supposed to be

"Then how was it meant to be like? Rougher?"

Yubin shoved Handong's whole body flush against the door and it jittered against the harsh force that was pushed on it.

"Softer?"

Yubin's hand ran down the length of Handong's arm, careful not to touch her skin through the sheer fabric of her blouse, and intertwined her fingers onto her hand. She could feel Handong's disregard for her previous thoughts grow and be replaced by glee and guilt; how it had already begun to flood through her mind as she expected and anticipated more.

-I’m not supposed to be doing this

Little Handong was wrapped around her fingers and all she needed was a few right words here and a few right touches there.

"Maybe you want it to be more loving."

Yubin kissed Handong, leaning a bit down as she felt her slide down on her leg.

-I’m not supposed to be doing this

Finger by finger, Handong had begun to clasp back at Yubin's grip, holding tighter as Yubin became more domineering and pushed her tongue further down, not caring, not having the clear mind to, about whether Handong was uncomfortable or not. Or how she was slowly losing her breath and was desperate for oxygen. Her tongue slowed down and matched the pace of Handong’s before she really felt that she was about to suffocate.

There were no intelligible thoughts left scrounging around Handong's head, she had already surrendered before the battle had begun and she was just too into the present, her senses honed and refined and keen to everything that happened.

That was how Yubin preferred it anyway.

"I want to see you get off on my leg babe. I want to see you desperate and needy and sweating and exhausted. Think you can do that for me?"

There was no need for her response, but she did so anyway, more out of politeness. She nodded, and through gritted teeth said, "Y-yes honey."

Handong began to rock back and forth, biting back her moans as she felt herself get wetter and wetter at the very notion of Yubin pinning her to the door.

Her eyes were shut, but it didn't matter because she was thinking about Yubin anyway; her smirk, her lust filled eyes, her tongue, her fingers. How she unexpectedly squeaks when climaxing and how her voice flips from low to high pitches at the turn of a dime.

And Yubin could see it all. The images, the thoughts. Should she be flattered at how highly Handong thought of her? 

"Baby, why are you picturing me when I'm right in front of you. Open your eyes."

A muffled sentence - word? - was all that left her mouth. It really wasn't necessary for her to speak. It was so cute to see her try anyway.

-I don't - I don't want to

Yubin took her leg away from Handong. 

-n-no no no

"Then look at me."

She whimpered even though she knew full well she could communicate through her mind.

But she heeded her command anyway, her eyes had shot open and they were wet and shiny. She saw Yubin's face, how it was so full of desire but how hard she tried to keep a poker face. She saw how there were cracks in her facade and how she was enjoying this almost as much as she was.

The door wobbled once more as Handong's head was slammed against it as Yubin pushed for another kiss. 

Nothing was more fulfilling than having Handong starting to moan against her lips and how she released a short yelp into her mouth as Yubin jerked her leg up further and harder and closer to Handong's core, giving her more friction and heat and pressure. 

Maybe Handong grinding down on her bare leg was more satisfying. Or seeing her get teary eyed as she edged herself closer and closer but because of how tired and overwhelming it was to keep going, and how she was left quaking as she tried harder and harder to finish herself off only to fail as she reacted harshly to being close.

At this point, Handong was so very deeply invested into this. She couldn’t think straight. Or at all. 

Yubin had the audacity to laugh at Handong struggling to keep herself upright and standing. Was she so drained already? She hadn’t even had her orgasm as well. But there was no point in keeping her waiting, was there? 

-Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, focus focus, this is exactly what you weren’t supposed to do

Yubin retracted her knee from Handong, who nearly collapsed onto the floor had she not been held up by Yubin’s hand. Her face was burning as she felt shame fill her lust and want. But Yubin didn’t want to waste another moment, she’d savour it later when she was finished.

-I'll - I'll stop her now, Jesus, fuck, what is she doing

She hauled the ever so sensitive Handong onto her feet and wrapped her arm around her waist, still holding onto her hand as if it was the only thing keeping her alive.

-Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Regret had started to swirl and mingle with her euphoria, she couldn’t have that now, could she?

Handong may have been taller and stronger and generally fitter than Yubin, but right now, all she could do was focus all her strength on standing upright, which she wasn’t even doing properly, as with every ghost of Yubin’s hand on her torso and every pinch on her stomach made her slip and melt into Yubin’s arms more.

It was so amusing to see Handong fail to keep herself together and fail to not respond to her touches. Yubin leaned in and bit onto the base of her neck, a bark like sound coming out of her mouth as soon as she felt her teeth sink into her. Her teeth made Handong more aroused. 

-Ha - harder

So she did bite harder, and as she did so, her hand slid underneath her bra, drawing circles around her nipple and then pinched it between two fingers.

Handong had slipped closer to the ground. Every new bite and every twist only served to make her already soaked underwear more wet. Words scrambled in her head and every hot breath that skated above her wet skin made her pant harder and faster.

“Do you want it?”

Yubin nestled her head onto the crook of her neck, purring at how hot and sticky and flushed her skin was. 

She felt her hair touch her head and then rise again. It was a short nod.

“Then beg for it. Beg like your life's on the line. Beg like the fucking slut you are.”

“I-I want you-” She sucked her breath in, “I want you to fuck me. Please. I want - I want you inside of me. I want you to raw me. I want you to treat me like a whore.”

“That’s my girl.”

Her hand that was once busy with her breast slid down in her skirt and she placed her hand onto her underwear. She squeaked.

Yubin turned her head so it was nearly buried by Handong’s hair as she leaned into her ear,“You’re so wet baby. You dirty animal. Is this the only thing you want?”

She could feel how Handong’s heartbeat had quickened ever so slightly and how her legs were trembling at the slightest touch.

-fuck

“Yes. ‘Fuck’ indeed.”

She took her hand out and then into her panties, not wasting any time and immediately starting to rub her clit.

Crap. Yubin could feel the enormous amount of bliss that was building up, and it was overwhelming. It caused her to stagger backwards onto the wall and lose her balance for a bit.

-holy shit, fuck

Handong’s hand had an almost death grip on Yubin’s and it only further tightened as Yubin began to rub harder and faster and more feverently. Then her hand travelled further down, teasing her entrance and lightly stroking her lips.

-just- just hurry up and fuck me

And when Yubin spoke, Handong could hear the smile on her face, “That desperate huh?”

But she did so anyway, her middle slid effortlessly into her pussy and she pumped in and out of her body, every time she entered, a new moan filled the room and echoed through the empty hallway, drowning out the squelching sounds that was occurring from down under.

The repetitive motion of Yubin’s fingers thrusting in and out and in and out choked Handong with how much pleasure she was tearing away from her.

She was panting as if she had run a mile and when Yubin had pushed deeper than she had ever before, she hit her head on the wall as she failed to contain how horny she was.

Of course, it wasn’t just Handong that was enjoying this, Yubin had gotten lost in the music of Handong’s voice and screams and moans and purrs and every sound that she pulled and hauled and pushed and squeezed from her body made her finger her so much faster and rougher. The vibrations from Handong’s throat rang into Yubin’s neck and turned her on, but not as much as how she sounded so desperate and whined and whimpered and quieted down her sounds as she neared her climax. 

There were still no thoughts in Handong, only the pure concentration of her body and how she focused on her pussy being penetrated by Yubin’s own fingers and the continuous stream of bliss and pure exhilaration being beat out of her from herself.

Well. If she was that close, why not give her more.

For the first time, Yubin for goed herself and pushed in another finger. Handong jerked away from Yubin as she felt the sensation of being stretched so wide.

\- Ah - it - it hurts - stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it

Handong came with burning pain. Of course, it did little to stop Yubin who kept her on that orgasm until Handong couldn’t possibly keep herself upright anymore and she slumped back onto Yubin, a delirious mess.


	17. Talk, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second second chances

Handong woke up to the sight of a half naked Yubin laying next to her. Crap.

Had she really thrown her whole plan down the drain as soon as Yubin offered to fuck her? It was because she hadn’t expected her to fuck her this time - that was what she tried to excuse herself with - considering how all the other times it had been Handong topping Yubin. But the way that Yubin had so quickly made her a slave to her emotions made her curse her lack of integrity.

But there was no going back. Hopefully this time would be better. If at first you don’t succeed - or even try at all in her case - try, try again.

“Yubin.”

Yubin’s eyes blinked open slowly. She saw Handong reach deep into her pillow and slip her ring back on. 

As always, her throat was left raw and hoarse after so much screaming and it was all she could do to not trace over the small welts of skin that had formed on her wrist a two days ago. It wasn’t red anymore, but it had turned a ghastly shade of muddy purple. It matched the ones on her neck.

“Yubin, talk to me for once.”

Shit. What had she done? Frozen by her mistakes, all Yubin could do was stare at Handong’s impassive face and see the slight inner turmoil build behind her cool facade.

When it became clear that Yubin was not willing to say anything, Handong started, “I - I - You.” She inhaled a large breath of air as she tried desperately to push all of her doubts and emotions down her trachea and stay level headed. Seeing how her hands clawed through the bedsheets, and how repressed rage sparked in her pupils though, made Yubin’s skin crawl. There was so much Handong wanted to say and yet she bottled it. And Yubin was scared that she might have been the tipping point.

“Why? How could - how can you do this to me?”

A sudden weight pushed onto Yubin’s ribcage, from the inside out, and it felt as if anytime soon her chest would burst.

“What am I to you? A toy? An experiment?”

Air escaped her lungs as every inch of her was seemingly being stomped down by every word and realisation that dawn onto her.

“Don-”

“Did you just want to use me as fuck? To use me with no strings attached? No feelings? No emotions involved?”

Yubin opened her mouth only for nothing to come out. She had so perfectly echoed what she had felt during her drunken escapades that it made her want to tear into her own stomach and drag her intestines across the floor.

She felt warm soft hands clasp onto her bare shoulder. “What do you want Yubin?”

Yubin’s jaw slacked, ready to speak, but no words came out of it. She never was the best with words. Oral words especially. She never was the best at articulating what she wanted or felt or liked - all she ever knew was contracts and assignments and manipulation and coercion - and seeing her put so much pressure onto her to speak aloud and say what she desired only made it worse.

“Don-”

“Don’t call me that!”

God seeing the way her eyes shifted away from her everytime she parted her lips left a bitter taste on Yubin’s tongue. She could feel the hatred seeping through Handong’s nose and diffusing into the air and her voice wavered with a harsh acute restrained anger and disappointment. Yubin didn't know what she wanted. Under the glow of the sunrise and with the simmering of bottled fury, Handong had never looked so ethereal.

The silence was filled in with Handong’s voice.

“I told you before that we need to talk. I told you before that I liked you. I put my heart on my sleeve and all I get back is being used for sex and making out? Did you ever think about how it affected me? How it broke me? How it made me want to crawl into a hole and die?”

Yubin swallowed her growing self resentment. It left a dryness in her mouth that made her already hoarse and sore voice weaker.

“What if all I did was fuck you? Or ask you to fuck me? What if I kept doing it without asking you or telling you why or how or when it would end or what I was going to do with you? What if I made you feel like all you had was your body?”

“Dong-ah, I-”

“I told you not to call me that Xi-” Her eyes widened and her right hand flew to her mouth.

Yubin didn’t catch her slip up, instead, she clutched onto the bed sheet. In all of her life, no one had ever made Yubin feel so much pain. That wretched twisting and emptiness and void in her soul. Even when she had tried so hard to not feel it she ended up doing it anyway. Was it always inevitable?

“D- Handong.” Dumbfounded, Yubin sat there boring her eyes in Handong’s. Yubin looked so pathetic, akin to a kicked dog. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

A deliberate pause. Handong furrowed her brows and thought about what Yubin had said. It - it felt empty. It felt weak, a deep part of her wanted more than just that. She wanted more. She wanted something that felt right. And it just didn’t.

She stood up and got out of the bed. “Well, you did.”

Handong opened the bottom-most drawer from the nightstand and chucked a white box onto the bed haphazardly.

Handong didn’t look back when she began to leave.

God there were so many words to say, statements to declare, feelings to announce, confessions to make but that was all she could do. And she watched in silence as Handong slipped away from her fingers.

Just as she saw Handong begin to open the door wider, it hit her. She realised that this was it. That this was her last chance.

Yubin grabbed onto Handong’s arm, “Dong-ah I - I -”

Her words stuck themselves onto the back of her aching throat and refused to leave her paralysed mind. Why did she just do that when she didn’t even know what to say?

As Yubin combed her brain searching for the perfect words to end their conflict, her eyes focused on how Handong trembled under her touch; at how she froze stiff in conditioned fear; at how she flinched when she felt Yubin move closer to her. What had she done to her. What had she put her through?

And this time, Yubin watched as Handong slipped away forever.

.  
.  
.

How long has it been since then?

The box was still in pristine condition. In calligraphy, painted on the top of it was ‘Happy Fake 4th Anniversary!’, no smudges or fingerprints or scrapes were on its exterior and it was preserved perfectly.

When Yubin had first opened the box, she saw a brand new phone shine in the orange light of the morning sun.

Inside it, she had been greeted with a handwritten note that explained everything a phone could do, it had started out with small handwriting and then eventually grew until space ran out and a quick ‘look at the notes app for more <3’ ended the post stick note. 

The lock screen was a mugshot of Yubin when they were on their first date. She must have bought it that day; to wait and hide something this expensive for a week was something that Handong would definitely do. The picture was of her looking down and grumpily stabbing the shortcake.

The home screen was… It was a selca from Handong. She was smiling.

She hadn’t seen that in a long time.

God she was so pathetic. Even Handong, not the most in touch with her feelings in the world, had dealt with having a crush on Yubin better than Yubin did on Handong.

Fat lot her intuition did in the end.

She thought back to everything that happened. Yubin sighed. When did Handong become the muse to her life. When did she become all she could think about. What was life like when she didn’t have these feelings.

It was peaceful. It was quiet. It was everything Yubin had thought that she wanted but not actually what she did nor needed.

Did she really think that if she repressed her feelings it would magically go away? It obviously hadn’t worked for Handong so why did she try anyway. Why did she try so hard to not love her. Why did she try so hard to push her away. Oh, right, it was because she didn’t want to feel this emptiness and weakness she was fucking feeling right now anyway.

God how self absorbed was she to only care about not hurting her feelings that she had never opened up her mind to see things from any other perspective - from Handong’s perspective.

She remembered. She remembered what happened that day, what she felt that day so clearly after Handong slipped out of her room. Yubin, ever the one for deep contemplation and apparently deep self hurt, walked to her desk and plucked her sealed and unsent letter from the pile of paper on her desk.

She closed her eyes, thinking back to what was written inside, ‘Dear Dong-ah,’ - that was the first line.

Yubin remembered how long it took to finally be able to write those two words onto the page without her hand shaking violently and ruining the page with ink blots.

‘I love you.’

If she recalled properly, that was the opening paragraph. It was short, it was concise and she couldn’t bear to elaborate on it. Why was it that the one time she desperately agreed with Handong’s ‘we need to talk’ that she no longer seemed interested. Did Handong know how many pieces of paper she had exhausted to write those five words? How many hours she spent writing, re-writing, proofreading, editing the paragraphs that preceded them. But how it somehow took longer for her to muster up the courage to write ‘I love you’ so boldly and deeply that she had engrained those words into her head like a mantra.

But it didn’t matter, not anymore. Yubin held the envelope by the corner and her hatred and regret had begun to unknowingly singe the far edge of the paper. She caught on that it was burning and stopped it before it grew any bigger.

When was the last time her powers had unsuspectedly set things on fire?

She shivered despite the burst of heat that had sparked in her hand. She had burned the house down in a matter of seconds, and nearly the whole village had she not been apprehended and punished appropriately.

They said that it took the efforts of a dozen or so angels to control the damage.

Angels. Yubin had quickly learned to hate them despite what she had been taught early on. They were insufferable. It wasn’t their fault of course, assignments were so much more strict and lawful than that of contracts and treading the line between tweaking small things and meddling with human life as the creatures knew it themselves was dangerous. Everything was done ‘for the sake of humanity’. They say that humans were made in God’s image, then what of angels? Demons? What were they then? Were they but simple pawns to keep the humans in check, a supervisor for the things that didn’t even know they existed?

Yubin shook her head. No existential crisis today. She needed to focus.

But her mind drifted back to that day.

***

Determined to set things right, she pulled her lips tightly as she began to formulate a plan. Yubin clutched the envelope in her hand. No, that wouldn't do. A speech? Or should she be more emotionally faithful and just let her mind reach deep and scoop out the first words and emotions that bobbed up. She swallowed the bitter taste that rose up her throat. No. That’s what had started this whole disagreement - to put it lightly - in the first place. 

How about a nice compromise? She’d plan a neat framework, the basics of what she wanted to say, and then let her mouth run and fill the inside of its lines and make sure not to overstep the boundaries. 

That sounded good.

Except that it never happened.

“Don- Handong?”

The name echoed through the empty rooms. A chill ran down her spine. Something didn’t feel right. She found herself getting ever so colder as she traversed through the hallway. She was shivering by the time she had worked the courage to rap her knuckles on the door of Handong’s room.

Again, there was no answer. When she opened the door, she saw… The forest that surrounded the clearing.

Wind whipped her face. What. No.

The opened door led to the outside and the walls and the ceiling of Handong’s room had been completely torn off the side of the house. All that was left was the raw concrete that was the kitchen’s ceiling. 

Her room was gone. Not even empty. Just, completely gone.

No way.

Yubin stepped foot onto the floor - ceiling? - still in disbelief at what happened, stumbling a bit as she hadn’t realised the ceiling was lower than the floor of the hallway. Her steps quickened and she reached where her bed would’ve been. She lifted her hand and hovered it over to where the alarm clock was last positioned and swiped at nothing. This couldn’t be real. No, no, no. Her bangs flew across her face, almost as if the wind was trying to give her a raincheck. No, this wasn’t happening. It took every fiber of her being to lower herself to the ground. 

She swiped her hair away from her face.

No. No, no, no, no. This can’t have happened. This couldn’t have happened. 

Yubin patted the floor. It wasn’t the fluffy carpet she had once tripped onto. What she touched was instead the rough grating cold of concrete. Where she’d once seen trees silently sway in the strong wind through the window was instead loud rustling as they bent against powerful gusts and shed their leaves which swirled around her.

How could she have done this. How could she have the power and precision to section off a single area of a building and leave the wiring and gas intact? How could she have teleported all of everything without disturbing her?

Defeated, Yubin leaned down and laid her back on the hard surface.

She couldn’t help the tears that surfaced and escaped her eyes. She felt so weak, so powerless, so helpless to the crushing weight of how cruel to world could be.

And it hurt. It hurt so fucking badly. 

If she could, she would’ve vomited, but she hadn’t eaten anything in the past day or so.

That was because Handong was always there to remind her to.

Fuck.

Yubin cried harder. She’d started bawling by the time she’d felt fuzzy something nudge her head.


	18. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yubin needs to be a responsible adult.

A meow.

If Handong was here, she’d probably have laughed at how stupid and illogical Yubin was to snap her head around and look up expectedly. But she wasn’t there to laugh instead, it was the purring of her stupid cat. Did he come here to rub more salt in the gaping wound that was her open heart? 

He meowed again and placed a wavy deformed piece of paper on her face.

Yubin laughed dryly. It was clearly a scrapped draft.

She felt another scrunched up paper, this time, it was tucked into her left hand, and then another one gently squeezed between her thumb and index finger. Nannan was nuzzling her neck, something that Handong did when she was asleep. Was the cat showing his condolences? Was he trying to reconcile things between them?

How pathetic was she that a house cat, or whatever he was, was pitying her.

She lifted the one on her face and straightened it, the sunlight quickly obscured the words written onto it so she turned on her stomach to examine it, wincing at the cool rough surface of the concrete. 

A lot of the words had been smudged in haste and even some parts of the letter had been pierced through with how much pressure was put onto it.

‘Yubinnie,

You’re an amazing person. You know that? There’s only been a handful of people that were able to catch my eye like you have and I really thought that had our circumstances been different or I had healed from my pain that we could have been something more, been something great. But I haven’t and clearly there’s something troubling you too and I don’t think that we are mature enough or responsible enough or healthy enough to deal with our problems alone, let alone deal with its combined problems together. I just - I just think that - I sound so dumb - I - I still love you and I hope that we can talk this out and’

It ended there.

Yubin folded it neatly and slipped it inside of her pocket. She opened the other letter. It didn’t look like one, considering its torn edge and crumpled appearance.

‘I don’t know if I’m supposed to like this. Does that make sense? I mean, it’s better than those last times but it still makes me feel like I’m back in that cold damp prison cell. It still makes my stomach boil with fear every time she touches me afterwards and even though it feels nice and it feels like the first time we slept together and I feel loved and warm she leaves me after we fuck and I fall back to the same shame and guilt and weak and dirty feeling that I felt before and I know that the situations are different and I know that I’m overreacting and I know that I kind of pushed for but I just can’t ’

Yubin’s heart stopped. What had she been through before? The other letter:

‘Yubin,

Was I wrong for wanting more from you than friendship? Was I selfish for wanting more? Did I push you too much? I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you if I knew you were tipsy and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you and we were both drunk and I should have known better and I shouldn’t have drank so much before or during the date and and’

Bile rose from her gut. It left a strong nauseous gloom in her stomach as it fell back down. Fuck. How could she not have noticed? How could she not have seen the torture she was putting her through? How could she have been blind to only good thing that she had ever had since she became a demon? Since she had come to existence even.

She got up and exited the room. Nannan did little to convince her to stay, knowing that he couldn’t do much despite wanting to give Handong the world.

As Yubin left what had been Handong’s room, she shot a glance at the cat before it was enveloped by shadows. 

Yubin ran. She craved for her touch, her feel, her voice, her laugh, her smile; the joy she gave her everyday.

She buried her head into the furthermost pillow on her bed. It smelled like her. It smelled like Handong. She pulled out her phone, staring at its home screen. Yubin reached out to grab onto her blue blanket only to hear the crunch of paper.

It was a letter. A finished one

***

Yubin looked down at her desk to see the opened envelope of Handong’s finalised letter.

‘I’m sorry for the short notice but I don’t think that I can be close to you anymore. It’s not what you think it is. I mean, it kind of is. But it isn’t your fault mainly. I should’ve spoken and communicated with you clearer and I shouldn’t have just left you like this but I just can’t deal with anything now and everything hurts for some reason. 

Everything just happened too quickly and too intensely and without warning, everything including how we met and fought and made up and fought again. It’s just. It wasn’t the right time, the right situation. I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again, but when we do, please don’t blame yourself. I - I don’t. I think. I. Fuck. I know I was never the best roommate or friend or partner or parent, but please take care of yourself. Please take care of Gahyeon.'

.  
.  
.

Yubin knew, Yubin knew that what she was doing was bad and self destructive, but she deserved it, that's what she told herself.

She deserved the pain of waking up with a splitting headache and a mind numbing hangover; she deserved the pain that came with throwing up the little food she had decided to consume; she deserved that feeling of weakness crawling up her legs and settling in her liver and tearing out every shred of healthiness she had left in her human form. 

She missed not feeling these things. Vessels were easier to move in than actual human forms. God damn it all. Literally. Damn God and their shitty favouritism and their shitty bias.

Fucking bullshit. It was all bullshit. What did demons do so wrong to deserve having to feel things: to feel pain and emotions and the effects of drugs and words and actions. What did she do so wrong to be a demon. It had only been one slip up.

And she finished her assignment in the end anyway, so what was the big deal.

So yes, fuck human forms and fuck God and fuck fate for not intervening and shit, or something like that. 

Yubin started having a coughing fit. Stupid body.

Stupid Earth. Stupid humans. Stupid contract. Stupid parents. Stupid baby that was crying.

Oh crap, the baby.

Gahyeon had been crying for what had to have been a minute by now. 

Shit. Shaking her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts, Yubin wearily walked closer to the origin of the wailing sounds. Oh God. She needed to get her shit together. She'd forgive herself for not looking after herself properly, but she'd never be able to forgive herself if any harm befell Gahyeon. 

She needed to get a grip. It was only one week after Handong had left her. Ah shit. When had she become so co-dependent? Wait, was she always co-dependent?

No, no. Now was not the time to be wallowing in self pity or psychoanalysing herself and her behaviour. She needed to focus on Gahyeon right now. Fuck. Was she a single parent now? Oh God she was a single parent. As if it wasn’t hard having a full-time job and having a partner and having a child unwillingly thrusted into your arms, she now had to do it alone. And she’d probably need to get a better source of income. Crap. Handong had dealt with all of their financial problems. But Handong wasn’t here. Handong wasn’t likely going to be here soon - and soon was correct, however loose your definition of soon is.

Shit everything was harder without Handong. She did their groceries; their cooking and baking; organised their cupboards; prepared the milk - albeit with magic, but still; general human things needed for general human survival in the modern world.

It was then and there, hungover and cradling an exasperated Gahyeon, that Yubin truly realised how dire her living situation was. And it was there when she realised how quickly she’d need to get her act together if she ever wanted to see Gahyeon prosper and have the life she truly deserved.

.  
.  
.

Getting her act together had been easier said than done.

“You know, you’ve been looking really stressed these days.”

Bora pressed her thumb against the middle of Yubin’s forehead. Feigning the act of pushing wrinkles down; there were no wrinkles of course, Yubin hadn’t chosen to have them on her human form. Yubin scrunched her face up in disgust - all in jest of course - and Bora kept swiping her thumb across her forehead, even harder and in longer swipes than she had the first time.

All she could hear in Bora's mind was incessant and loud laughter and slight worry tinge her other so simple thoughts. God even her thoughts were loud. 

She pulled her torso backwards to avoid the touchy hands of Bora and her inner loudness. Yubin contemplated how to go about it. How she would react, how it would pass onto Siyeon. How it would affect her relationships with them. They’re not bad people. Is what Yubin had to remind herself before speaking. 

“Dong-ah and I had a falling out.”

And of all the responses: harshness, resentment - because Bora had taken a particular shining to Handong’s shyness - or even confusion. A blank face was not what she had expected.

“Who’s Dong?”

Yubin frowned, she repeated herself in hopes of it being misheard and not a serious problem, “Handong.”

“Hmm,” Bora tilted her head, flipping some of her hair to the side whilst doing so, “'Handong' doesn’t ring a bell.”

What? No. That's not possible. Yubin didn’t think when she reached out to initiate contact with Bora, grabbing her hand and not letting go until she had thoroughly searched through every crevice of her long-term memory for the image or shape or the word or the memory of Handong to appear. Nothing. She searched deeper. It was when Bora had started to begin losing balance and become weak due to the surge of magic pushing through her body that Yubin stopped.

Shit.

Bora had nearly fainted. 

Yubin helped her up, forgetting that she’d be able to read her mind when doing so.

-What just happened? Did I just black out?

And Yubin forgot that Bora didn’t know she could be telepathic, replying casually to her thought, “Kind of, you should be more careful."

Bora backed away from the demon, wary of what had just happened. She stumbled as she stepped backwards.

"What - did I just say that out loud?"

Biting back the slight guilt that came with manipulating Bora to cover up her own slip up, Yubin answered back nonchalantly, "Yeah, are you okay?"

"I could've sworn I didn't say anything though."

Damn. Bora was sharper than she presented herself to be, if this were any other human being, they would've brushed it off with a laugh or something. Hmm, she'd have to do something about that.

.  
.  
.

Yubin didn’t think well under pressure. So when she had finally gotten home, after a few wipes of Bora’s memory, she cradled a glass of wine in her hand. It was fine, she said to no one - what would have been Handong - because it was only one, and it was doubly fine because she had put Gahyeon to sleep; since her circadian rhythm had finally aligned in a way that it meant that she fell asleep a few hours before Yubin did and she was at that stage in life where she’d stop crying so much at random points of the day - which was much quicker than she had originally thought it to be.

Though she wouldn’t complain about it of course.

It had soon become apparent to her that ‘Handong’ no longer existed around here.

She had always been the more adept at magic to do with humans out of the two of them.

Yubin had asked Siyeon, when she came into the shop to offer Bora lunch and eat with her, if she remembered her, Siyeon said she didn’t know who she was either.

She felt alone and unwanted and bitter at how harsh Handong could end up being. She could no longer even reminisce about Handong with Siyeon and Bora, she could no longer contact her, she could no longer find her. There were no social media accounts with that name. Yubin would type her name into Google or Naver or even Bing. With nothing relevant showing up, even pages deep into the search engines. She had even gotten Weibo, but still nothing to be found. Handong had even gone through the trouble of removing her phone number from their CV and Yubin’s phone, plus, she took the documents that Yubin forged as well.

She sighed as she closed the curtains and turned the lights off, Yubin looked over at the freshly swaddled infant, trying to take her mind off the witch.

How had it come to this? Heartbroken. Empty. A single mother. About to become as much of an alcoholic as Handong.

Life worked in weird ways.

And maybe life had decided to stop being so cruel when it made Yubin fall asleep to the soft music playing from her phone, that was meant for Gahyeon, and wasn’t able to finish her drink as she nodded her head off, her back on the wooden cot for support.


	19. Part 1: Where it actually Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol was not Handong's OG drug of choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue in italics is in Chinese. It's ugly but is an ugly necessity for later.

*The province of Canton is now called Guangzhou 

It was nearly the mid 19th Century in China. 

With a long pipe in her hands and a full laughter in her mouth Handong leaned languidly back in the sun. Despite the heavily questionable and illegal substance she was smoking, she was in heaven. It was so comfy and fuzzy and warm. The once cruel and harsh world was embracing her so softly and the flitting in her stomach died down smoothly. All the streams of worry running in her head were washed away with the tide of mellow and calmness and soothing that rushed in when she breathed in from the pipe again. 

She opened her eyes to see the bright sun. It was so much better here, outside, than those dark, dim, grungy opium dens - that had masses of malnutrition and hordes of addicted individuals sprawled everywhere. She was just glad to have finally learned how to prepare all of the equipment herself and how to heat everything to the right consistency.

It had taken gruelling trials and shitty failed experiments and a lot of stalking ragged men to the harbour, watching them haggle for the British navy for chests of the lucrative stuff, and noting down every small detail of the process to do it. Even after watching them do it for so long, she’d still fail and honestly it would’ve helped so much to have at least someone to help her.

Whatever, her current loneliness didn’t matter anymore though.

A tide of warmth and drowsiness relaxed her body, she was floating on a sea of peacefulness. 

Where was she again? 

What was she thinking?

It didn’t matter. As long as she was here. Now. High and happy and unbothered. The pulse and strength of her heartbeat fell and diminished, but why would she care? She couldn’t die. She had accumulated years of extra lives and sucking the life expectancy of haggard men that wandered too close to her only made it easier to continue to destroy her lungs and feel it repair again. How many extra years had she added? Considering each person gave her an extra decade of living, and she had killed dozens, it was safe to say that she was going to live at least an extra century or so.

No one would miss those pathetic excuses of people anyway. They were drug addicts, smugglers. They had no self preservation or discipline. They had no family. No friends.

Funnily enough, Handong found herself describing everything she was right now - maybe they were right when they said that familiarity breeds contempt, and what was more familiar to Handong than herself.

She thought back onto the boarding European ships. How ironic of her to be extracting enjoyment from the thing that had caused her so much pain. She mulled over what had been her once quaint life in her village - or was it more fitting to call it a small town?

By the time Handong had finished what was university for them, the new Western sphere of influence had mixed in with their notion of witchcraft and made a permanent dent onto the coven she had been born into. It was a strange magic, hard to control, superbly fate driven and Christian-heavy, sure, and so many people had suffered side-effects from it, sure, but she strived to learn it anyway. What choice did she have? 

She was perfect. She had to be. Nothing less than that and she’d disappoint her people, her friends, her parents. Expectations were high and she was a prodigy in nearly all fields. 

Alchemy, the obsession of immortality had also reached its dirty hands into the coven and not let go, people were desperate for it. So when she had finally deciphered how to be immortal, how to be eternally stuck in her twenties, how to never let go of anyone, everything had come crashing down.

She performed the spell, her wand - something the Westerners had loved so much to use - discarded on the floor. She didn’t need it, it only hindered and stifled her power anyway. And when she stepped out of her house, she discovered with abject horror that she had withered the life and years out of everyone. It shouldn’t have been that much. It shouldn’t have reached so far, but she was powerful, she was skilled and she was practiced and she had killed nearly everyone in her village. 

So the first thing she did was run. Run far away. Run from her stupid mistake and run from the accidental genocide that she had just committed.

She didn’t know how this immortality thing worked then, or how long she was going to live, but in that moment, running away from the now deserted settlement, she knew that she wanted to die.

But no matter what she did, starve, poison, hang, cut. Slowly, through all the pain, through the fixing broken bones and uncrushed windpipes, she learned that taking away a millennia of stored up life - at the minimum, she guessed, ten times a hundred was a lot of years to live - from herself was much harder than she wanted it to be.

By the time she had exhausted herself running south - what had it been, a week, ten days, twenty? - or wherever her legs took her, she had reached Canton* somehow, dropping dead onto a confluence of one of many tributaries.

But her timing was seemingly perfect, as with the money she had looted off rotted corpses and muggers that had tried to rob her, she had arrived just as the stock of opium had reached its peak and the supply-demand was so tilted that it was almost dirt cheap. Dirt cheap for drugs anyway. It helped that she didn’t need to spend any money on food or water. 

So the first thing she did was get high and… everything was foggy after that. Apparently opiates did a thing to memory. What was it again? Oh, right, they made you forget. And boy did she need to forget.

So yes, she was laying on the grass alone and high and dying from a multitude of disease and illness and hunger and dehydration and hypothermia, but it didn’t matter because she was in bliss right now.

Handong should have known that things, for her, never ended well.

.  
.  
.

There was a commotion going about the small towns near the harbour. Something about rebellions flaring against the government or how productivity of the people had crashed or how too many people were addicted or how the East India Company of the British Army was draining the Chinese economy from the drug smuggling. Who was she to care about the cause? All she cared about was the effect. And it affected her a lot.

Her pathetic excuse of a house, ravaged by wildlife and chipped away by weathering and carelessness, was at the very edge of the river basin. It was there to provide cover from rain and dirt. That was it. It was isolated and left alone just as she had planned it to be.

Until people surrounded it one day.

She stepped down from the hill.

There was clanking and clinking and worst of all: there were people. Living, breathing, sentient people desperately turning her ‘house’ inside out and upside down. Handong stepped closer to the crowd, which had begun fighting amongst themselves. They had begun shouting and pulling and shoving. And between it all, she could see her stuff, her belongings, her precious few keepsakes that reminded her of home being thrown about in search of whatever they were searching for.

A photo frame was shot into the sky and landed, cracked, in front on her feet. 

Handong ran to catch the nearest person and rammed them to an unsturdy wall.

_“What the fuck are you doing?”_

The man under her grip looked withered, with hollowed cheeks and dusty clothes. His eyes darted about restlessly and his nose was running. An addict.

_“I - I heard there was opium here. The place - it - it looked so run down that we thought whoever lived here died or left.”_

Handong narrowed her eyes, he was telling the truth. She let go, gently lowering him to the ground before letting him scram off. Whatever, it’s not like he could help it, hope was a powerful thing, and he wasn’t exactly the scum that thought she was helpless or an easy target: he was a smart man to run.

She turned around to face the rest of the scavengers.

Through the careless movement and pushing of the crowd, Handong had managed to squeeze her way to the entrance of her house - hut? - and dug her stupid wand into the wet soil of the ground and let her magic flow into it, pushing everyone away from her, and the little rats that had entered her residence slammed against the walls, wobbling the ‘building’ a bit.

_“I’ll say it once and no more. If you have any shred of decency or will to live, you’ll drop everything and leave me alone.”_

Most complied, some took her equipment before leaving and some dared to steal her drugs. But that didn’t matter to her. What did was the handful of people that had decided to stay despite her warning. She’d have fun with them, if they were that suicidal to stay around her, she was sure that they’d appreciate having a whiff of death.

_“Who do you think you are ordering us around?”_

It was a woman this time, she got up from her position on the floor and yanked Handong closer to her face, trying to intimidate her with her sheer height and sturdy looking build. 

Handong stared into the woman’s eyes and felt them waver as her body began to feel a huge pressure and weight build up around her and push her down, as if the world was grabbing her body and forcing her to crumble headfirst to the ground, which was wrong, because it was Handong’s magic that was doing that. The woman kneeled under the force and unwillingly bowed, her forehead hitting the dirt hard as she gave Handong a shitty looking kowtow.

Through gritted teeth, the woman still talked, _“You little witch. What, just because you’re more powerful than us we should obey you? Just because you’re too weak to fight without resorting to magic we should listen to you?”_

The rest of the people inside began to creep away from the yelling that had ensued, some choosing to stay out of morbid curiosity.

_“People like you disgust me. You think you’re better than us."_ She wasn't wrong per say. _"Hiding away from the shit that’s been going down in the ports and hoarding all this shit to yourself? You’re just as shitty as the filth you think we are.”_

The woman was shaking despite her strong voice. Handong dug her head further into the dirt with the heel of her shoe, not really up to hearing anymore remarks about herself, however true they were, she plucked her wand from the floor, raising it up, and then tapped her forehead. In seconds, she passed out.

_“Anyone else want to try me? Or do you prefer a slow painful death?”_

They all ran. Cowards.

Something creaked above her and then the roof collapsed. Fucking assholes.

But now she was left with an unconscious woman, a partly destroyed house and half of her belongings, mainly her opiates, stolen. Handong crouched down on the floor and etched a few characters on the floor, pulling out rope from the circle drawn onto the dirt and tied the stranger. Remembering her foul words, she grimaced as she wrapped a piece of cloth around her mouth. Looking at the woman though, how she convulsed in her sleep and mumbled words of fear, Handong backtracked and removed her gag. She’d better be grateful she didn’t kill her.

By the time she had gained consciousness, the collapsed roof had been somewhat fixed and Handong had been sparing enough to lay a blanket on her. 

_“Wh - what happened?”_

Handong avoided her eyes, being sure that she would continue her earlier rant, _“You passed out.”_

The woman shivered again. Handong threw the blanket she was wearing on top of her. She started to talk without Handong’s spur, _“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I just really needed my fix. I know it’s no excuse, but I hope that you can understand. For what it’s worth, I think your magic is really cool.”_

A smile cracked Handong’s poker face. _“I appreciate your honesty…”_ Huh, she forgot what it was like to converse with normal people. Handong drew a blank as she tried to think of how to gently get the woman out of her house - well, hut-shelter-thing, a house may be an overstatement.

Her brooding was filled in with words, _“Xiaotang.”_

_“Oh,”_ Handong turned her head further away from the mortal, now she knew her name, which meant her brain would start to attach labels onto her, _“I wasn’t actually asking for your name.”_

The woman, well, Xiaotang, laughed boldly at her shyness, _“Well, now you know!”_ The first one was: social.

_“I guess I do.”_

Silence settled down as Handong began thinking over how to deal with this Xiaotang person. She wasn’t practiced enough to specifically pick out certain memories and she certainly didn’t have the capabilities to cleanly remove them and create fictional ones in place of it. So what to do with her then? How to dispose of her without killing or harming her.

Xiaotang shuffled closer to get a better look at the person keeping her hostage. _“What’s your name then?”_

_“Han Dong.”_

_“Okay. So Dong Dong, when are you going to free me?”_ She said as she sat up on her legs.

_“Don’t call me that, we’re not friends.”_

Xiaotang chuckled deeply before breaking out into a hearty laughter where she shook so much that her hair started to fall out of place and cover half of her visage, Handong grimaced, what was so funny about what she’d said? Weird. _“You seem really lonely,”_ Honest. She paused, deeply considering what to refer to her kidnapper as, finally settling into a teasing but semi-compliant tone, _“Han. Dong.”_ Respected boundaries.

Handong frowned at her sharp and correct jab.

It earned a squeal of delight, _“You’re so cuute!”_

Complimentary. The blush on her face was inherently inevitable. _“I - You - Do you want to be freed or not?”_

_“I mean, if you would be so kind as to my lady.”_ Funny. Xiaotang imitated a bow, well, tried to as she lost balance due to her tied hands.

_“Careful.”_ Handong steadied her with light hands on her back.

_“Aww, you care about me.”_

At that comment, Handong dropped her arms and watched as she wobbled and hit the floor, earning a laugh from both of them. Stupid. She was so stupid. Well, maybe not considering it was probably done on purpose, but she digressed. Ah, when was the last time she had laughed so freely? Too long she thought. And, sadly, Xiaotang was right, she was lonely.

Whatever. Shoving her want for any type of human contact down into a deep recess in her brain, Handong grabbed her wand - it ended up not being as useless as she thought it was, using it to reduce how strong her magic could be and being able to focus it onto certain areas instead of a large area of effect type damage; she definitely did not want a repeat of... Well. Now, more than ever her precision was needed, because she had barely come up with the frameworks of her spell and more often than not, when developing a new spell, she’d overshoot and destroy a lot more than she planned.

The wand tapped the rope and dissolved.

Finally free, Xiaotang reached around her and pulled the blankets around herself to give her proper warmth. Idly waiting for a conversation to start again. Suprising.

Handong tilted her head in confusion, she was sure she was going to leave, _“You’re not running away?”_

Xiaotang laughed at her, _“With how shitty things are going at the trading docks? With how much kinder you are than anyone else? A villager was beat to death by British soldiers.”_ Her smile faded away.

Some otherworldly urge in Handong caused her to continue their conversation, if only to distract her, _“I never said you could stay.”_

The newly freed woman hummed in thought, furrowing her brows at what Handong had said, Xiaotang hadn’t thought about the possibility of her not following her newly made-up plan of befriending what seemed to be a hermit, _“Hmm, true, but you never said I couldn’t.”_

Handong squinted her eyes and tightened her lips, _“You’re a funny person Xiaotang. Fine, you can stay.”_

_“Thanks Dong Dong!”_

She took back what she said about boundaries as she found her herself being pulled into an unwanted, but very appreciated, hug.

_“Don’t call me that, Xiaotang.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few updates will be slow because the internet went down and in the times that it worked I was barely able to upload my chapters, let alone write more on my Google Docs, so nearly all my buffer has gone.
> 
> I'd say that the updates will be every 4 days now but my next one will be in 5.
> 
> Also, I whipped out the dusty Word documents and I typed out a one-shot in the meanwhile. Expect that whenever... Idk, the prompt was sitting there for a few weeks.  
> (I had to re-upload this chapter because I accidentally set the publication date to April)


	20. Part 2: History as you Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And just when everything felt right, it went wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll be updating every five days from now? I'll let you guys know as I do.

Chapter 20: History as You Know It  
*Junk are the wooden ships used in the Chinese navy, I think the meaning that we commonly use now is derived from it - because of how poorly it held up against the steam engined boats the British empire had

Xiaotang was exuberant, loud, bold and brave. She laughed when they failed and cheered when they succeeded. In the little time that Handong had gotten to know her, she felt way too attached to her for what she had ever thought was possible. Xiaotang was everything Handong wanted to be and more: she spoke out loud to injustices, she expressed her emotions to the forefront and she threw compliments out to anyone and everyone - anyone and everyone that she cared about anyway. And in a jarring way, the woman was also so introspective and caring that Handong had never thought it was possible for someone to be so detail oriented but also focus on the larger picture at the same time. To say that Handong idolised her would be an understatement.

After helping her through sleepless nights and shaky night terrors and other withdrawal symptoms, it was safe to say that Xiaotang was friends enough with Handong for her to finally be able to call her ‘Dong Dong’ without Handong sounding annoyed or peeved.

_“Dong Dong. Let’s eat fish today.”_

And as always, Handong was brief and to the point, something that Xiaotang didn’t seem to mind at all, unlike most people, _“I don’t need to eat.”_

_“But it’s more fun to eat when you’re here.”_

So in the end, Handong accompanied her through wadding, fishing, cooking and eating. Xiaotang had even been able to coerce her into learning how to cook and taught her how to fillet and debone their fish. And in the short lived time they shared together, Handong was able to say that she was truly and utterly happy experiencing new exciting things, well exciting to her, that she thought that she was never able to do.

The fire outside her newly refurbished house - now with an added bed made with hay and straw because not everyone could live through dying via hypothermia - crackled gently and Xiaotang shuffled closer to Handong as she nibbled at her food.

_“I heard that the British troops have began to fire at our junk*.”_

Handong looked up, surprised by how much Xiaotang cared about the going on of people despite abandoning her place and friends there - did she have friends there? Maybe Handong would be brave enough to ask. She recalled fondly seeing the powerful shockwave that blew mist all over the land, _“You could feel the ground shaking - God I knew that our navy sucked but their ships were made of metal! Winning would be child’s play for them.”_

_“I guess they weren’t the savages officials painted them out to be, huh.”_

They both hummed at how it seemed war was inevitable, and the sick bubbling feeling that they would lose if the British ever decided to step foot into Chinese territory was never addressed by the both of them. The coming day, Xiaotang asked her if she wanted to accompany her down to get anything from the market. Handong refused, not wanting to see any familiar faces. ‘Suit yourself’ is what she said before leaving. 

_“Wait.”_ Handong pulled her hands close to her chest, not knowing why she was suddenly so nervous when she made eye contact with Xiaotang’s almost black eyes. “Stay safe will you?” Xiaotang cocked an eyebrow at her sudden show of empathy, _“Promise me you’ll stay safe: and that you won’t wander too close to the dens; and that you’ll hide as soon as you see a foreigner; and that you’ll return home - I mean here - safe.”_

Xiaotang shook her head at her anxieties. She patted Handong’s head to ease her worries, _“Of course I will.”_

She waved wildly at her as she slung a bag over her shoulder and fixed a hat onto her head.

And for what felt like and what could have been hours, Handong stared at where she last saw Xiaotang’s tall figure disappear off past where she couldn’t see her anymore. She dozed off facing the rising run and awoke to a setting one and gentle shaking and laughter. Xiaotang came back, gifts in her hand and a wide smile plastered on her face. She laughed as Handong tried to make sense of how Xiaotang was able to procure so much food and water and clothes in such a short amount of time. 

_“My friends gave them to me,”_ She gestured towards the things she was precariously holding in reaction to Handong’s widened eyes, _“They said they missed me, but I told them that I found a better place to stay.”_

Oh, at least that answered her earlier unspoken question. And when Handong spoke, nothing she could do could tone down the envy and the pitch increase her voice did, _“Don’t you miss them?”_

_“Haha, what, are you jealous?”_ Handong filled one side of her cheeks with air as her new companion poked fun at her not so untrue statement. 

_“No, it’s just that - why stay here? Why stay with me instead of your closer friends.”_

_Xiaotang crouched in front of her and patted her head for the second time that day, _“You’re a close friend too Dong Dong.”__

__

__

_That night, when Handong was deep into sleep, Xiaotang laced her finger onto hers and fell asleep to the sensation of her warm hands in hers._

_Handong rubbed her eyes, where Xiaotang’s bed lay was an empty blanket and a note telling her that she was going to visit some friends downtown. Ah, ever the social extrovert she was. She smiled as she saw a little doodle of her sleeping in the bottom right corner of the sheet, knowing where she was, and knowing that she was a strong smart woman capable of defending herself if need be, Handong went to fetch water from a stream and then settled back into her bed and slept._

_“Handong! Handong! You need to get up!”_

Xiaotang was damp and her black hair sparkled with dew. Grumpily, she asked for forty more seconds.

_“We don’t have time!”_

_Forgoing her tiredness, Handong got up and was willingly dragged outside where Xiaotang pointed excitedly at the arc that had tattooed itself into the sky._

_“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”_

_> “You woke me up… For a rainbow?”_

Xiaotang hit her arm lightly in disbelief at how blind Handong could be, _“No, not just a rainbow, a rainbow made from the moon.”_

Handong shook her head to clear her mind, and sure enough, she was looking at a nearly pitch black sky and a bright moon hanging brilliantly above them. It sparkled with its seven luminescent colours and gave the two hope in their seemingly doomed paths. 

_“It's pretty. A moon rainbow? A rainmoon?”_

_Xiaotang patted Handong’s nodding head, signalling to her that she was free to use her for support, _“Moonbow sounds better.”__

__

__

_“Moonbow.”_ She smiled as she started to feel the hand of sleep grab onto her, and leaned onto Xiaotang’s shoulder, _“Yes, yes it does.”_

It had been a few weeks, sometimes Xiaotang would stay over at Handong’s now much neater looking house, other times, though rarely, she’d go back to wherever she stayed before she had raided the witch’s area in search of drugs. Apparently, it took only a few days for addiction to opium to die down fully and the two swore to each other to never touch the stuff - it helped that Handong had never been addicted to it in the first place. They were each other’s anchor in the stormy seas of rebellions and foreign forces. So when another naval battle had started, this one much more inland than last time, they knew it was better to be safe than sorry and started to bid their place goodbye. 

An island off the coast of Southern China had been seized by Britain and it looked as if they were readying for war.

_“Handong.”_

__“Hmm?”_ She looked up to see Xiaotang deep in though, “What’s the matter?”_

_“My - my friends don’t want to leave.”_

Xiaotang’s head was held low, her front hair covering her eyes. Her entire entire body had stiffened and she was unusually avoiding Handong’s gaze.

_“I don’t get it.”_

_“I just-”_ She sucked her breath through her teeth knowing that saying it would unintentionally hurt Handong, but said so anyway, _“I want to convince them. I want to bring them along. I don’t think I could leave them behind to rot like this.”_

_“Their land army will be here in a few weeks you know.”_ Or days.

Her head hung even lower, _“I know.”_

_“We’ll leave as soon as you can rally them. Okay? Even if it takes us days to, or we need to kidnap them, or we need to bribe them.”_

They looked at each other, _“I’ll do it.”_ They smiled, knowing that when Xiaotang set her mind on something, she’d do it and do it well, _“Give me tomorrow, that's all I need.”_

Tomorrow was too late.

Handong was pacing around her house as she waited for the return of Xiaotang and her friends, she’d heard of her talk about them and their fun little excursions and how they partied or danced or sung as if they were going to die anytime soon. She spoke of Sun Rui who looked sharp and intimidating but was just as, if not more, lively - with a hint of snark and shyness; or Chen Jue who was a brick wall until you showed you meant no harm; or the ever extravagant and rarely appearing Yu Shuxin who dropped by to shower them with love and more friends and was as caring as she was emotionally and monetarily rich.

But there was no one. Hastily, Handong wrote a note saying she went to look for her and ran as fast as her legs could possibly take her.

The town closest to her was in ruins.

Shit. Shit. There’s no way this was happening, right? There was no way they had declared war so soon.

_“Xiaotang?”_

>Through alleys and roads and narrow pathways, Handong ran and ran and searched and searched.

_“Xiaotang! Xiaotang! Don't do this to me! Don't do this to me.”_

_“ XIAOTANG!”_

As she screamed and screamed her name, falling deathly silent after each shout in hopes of hearing some reply, some sound, some type of reassurance that she was near her and safe, she felt her lungs scraping and tearing at how hard she was shoving air out of her body.

_“XIAOTANG!”_

She could feel her eyes prick with tears as her vocal chords pulled and strained and tore at the sheer pressure she was putting them under.

_“XIAOTANG! Please.”_

God she could taste the copper from her blood as she yelled for Xiaotang over and over again and she was sure her diaphragm was punctured with the ferocity with which she was screaming.

She didn’t let herself get enough air or time to recover as she passed hastily through blown houses and wet streets. Blood rushed through her ears, blocking out the burning and crackling and crumbling sounds from destroyed buildings. And she waited and waited for anyone to respond. For her to respond.

_“...Witch,”_ A man whose lower half was crushed under rubble spoke out with a wobbling voice and dying body, she crouched in front of him, _“Witch… Are you looking for Zhao?”_

Zhao? Handong cursed under her breath, she never got to know her full name, _“‘Zhao’? Zhao Xiaotang? A woman? Tall? Long black hair with dark eyes as captivating as the night sky?”_

_“Yes, she seems like the one.”_ What did he mean by that? Did he know of her? Was he acquainted with her? Had he seen her nearby?

_“She left on a carriage with several other women.”_

That can’t be. No, the man was simply mistaken. She would never do that to her.

_“Zhang, Huang, Sun Rui and the one from another province. They all left with her.”_

Those names. She’d once heard Xiaotang speak of them so fondly.

She left. She left on a carriage with several other women. She had left her to seemingly waste along with the other captives and tirelessly worry about her safety. She left her despite all she ever said, she left her despite asking her to be there for her through thick and thin, she left her despite whispering to her under the stars that she was one of the only people that understood her.

She abandoned her. Was she really not worth it?

Handong dropped to her knees. How could she have done that to her? What about their plans? Their friendship?

The man reached up to console her, _“I’m sorry my dear.”_

She stood up, quickly tearing herself away from his sympathy, her bottom lip quivered and she spoke, _“Do - Do you want to live?”_

The man looked up at her, a sad smile on his lips, _“I think I’ve had enough dear.”_

She felt the familiar warped, arcane magic fill her veins and lungs and body and watched as the man closed his eyes for the last time. Not even a day was taken from him.

Handong stood with silent tears falling from her eyes as the fire surrounding her marred her skin with burns.

. 

_“HANDONG! HANDONG!”_ Xiaotang struggled, pinned down by what was meant to be her friends, _“GET THE FUCK OFF ME! Let me go, you morons! I need to see her!”_ Even with the force and weight and strength of nearly half a dozen women, Xiaotang fought in vain to turn the carriage back.

They didn’t even need to go near the harbour. They didn’t even need to go near the boats or the army or the guns or the dens. They didn’t need to be in danger. And despite knowing that deep down, Handong could live just as fine and just as well and just as okay without her, Xiaotang kept trying to persuade them to turn back.

A gentle hand was placed on her forehead, _“You said that she was immortal, right?”_ It was the usually animated Yu Shuxin that would playfully bicker with Xiaotang whenever she saw the opportunity to.

Knowing that tone of voice, knowing that Yu Shuxin only spoke that softly and that tenderly when things were dire and there was a bleakness to life that couldn’t be brightened by her shining personality, Xiaotang stopped flailing. Out of breath, Xiaotang could only nod, _“You said that she knows where I live, right?”_ She nodded again. _“You said that she’s smart, and strong and capable and resourceful and charming, right?”_

Xiaotang could only smile at how she quoted her description of the immortal hermit when she had first reunited with the gang and came to worried faces and multiple ‘where were you?’s. _“Then she’ll find you. If she can run from Wuhan to here in twelve days, I’m sure she’d swim across oceans and tredge through blizzards and tear that stupid British army into pieces to find you. Okay baby?”_

_“Okay.”_ She sighed in defeat. She hoped that Yu Shuxin was right.

She was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, the backstory feel like one-shot, no?
> 
> Update: limited HTML is being a pain in the ass so that's why this took so long


	21. Dami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say a lot of things.
> 
> They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
> 
> They say out of sight out of mind.
> 
> They say that time heals all wounds, but what about scars?

Angels and demons were so alike yet not so. They said that demons had beating hearts and skin that could sweat, that demons were slaves to emotions just as humans could be and that demons were everything that angels should not be. Angels had purpose, they guided, they protected, they managed. Demons exist purely to corrupt and spite.

Dami was glad to not be a demon. She shivered at the thought of being so cruel as to mislead humans and to be so cruel to manipulate them for things that they couldn’t help themselves to. The few times she’d materialised in human form, she was glad to know that her body was merely a vessel, no organs, no blood, no need for food or water. Just pure existence. Heck, she didn’t even need to blink, but she quickly learned that people, human people, found it odd and scary and called her wicked names behind her back if she didn’t.

They said that assignments weren’t too hard. They said that it wouldn’t be hard for Dami, because she knew humans well and knew how they acted and reacted and thought. And they weren’t. Humans were weak. Humans fell prey to emotions, which was simultaneously a good and a bad thing. It meant they were easily swayed to both good and bad.

A few right words here and a few right gestures there and her assignment would be completed and she’d get out of her human vessel after she swayed her assigned human onto the right path.

When human civilisation had started to form, and villages made and farm built, social hierarchy was inevitable and so was the socioeconomic divide. 

It was fun to watch the humans bicker and argue and do a generally poor job of being the just and moral creatures they thought they were - ironically, because they had sentience and were able to label things as ‘good’ and ‘bad’, they created the existence of good and bad. Like that famous American writer - but he didn’t come into existence that far back into time.

It was fun to just spectate them and count the number of mistakes they made in only a single second. It was fun to stop them from deviating from their path and put them back on the straight and narrow. It was fun socialising with them on a planned impromptu visit to earth. It was all fun. Until it wasn’t anymore. Until she slipped on the slippery slope that had been emotions and fell deep deep into a pit of mistakes and failures. Until she had burst, literally, under the pressure of them, the people, the angels, the demons, her emotions.

For years, millennia, Dami had enjoyed her life wandering amongst humans and slipping in an ominous word or two, lending a helping hand to the poor, desperate and dying, urging people to go in the right direction. She had enjoyed basking in the sun and feeling the lightness of her body.

But now, in the ashes of her mistakes, she didn’t think she could hate being alive and conscious and existing so much as she did now.

The first thing that caught her attention was how heavy everything was: how strenuous it was to consciously move the tip of her finger; how difficult it was to pull what had to be muscles correctly enough to attempt to get up from the scorched ground; how much even the slightest abrupt change in speed could make a dull pain fester and grow as she failed to account for how she needed to use her back muscles in cohesion with her abdominal to sit and she promptly crashed onto the floor.

Then came this burning sensation, which grew from the base of her trachea and then spread down to her lungs and up her larynx. Then, as if by magic, her body automatically took a deep breath in, followed by hyperventilating. She’d seen this before in humans she’d saved from drowning, she’d always thought that the short heaves they did after getting the water out of their system was theatrical, but apparently not.

Even the air she breathed in was heavy.

It was as if everything weighed down on her: her actions; her mistakes; her body; her emotions.

What shocked her the most though was the steady beating of her heart.

They’d talked a lot about it, the angels, about hearts. Even humans knew about its place in the body. While humans spoke of how the heart leads with emotions and soul and feeling, the angels spoke of its complex machinery and how off putting it sounded to have such a puny thing seemingly power your entire being.

That and mortality of course.

It squeezed, actually squeezed, steadily, every second and didn’t let up. It pumped what had to be blood to every part of her body - because she had one now and it wasn’t just some vessel - and back again. It thumped with each beat with ferocity and she wondered how humans or demons or any creature with such a faulty need to use one could function with it so distractedly contracting nearly every second; how they could possibly focus with the sound of rushing blood in her ears so often and so loud.

Maybe angels were the weak ones then. She wondered what would happen if an angel had a heart. Or if a demon didn’t have one - did demons even need hearts? What was the purpose of them having such humanoid bodies then, even down to their need to respire.

But those were blasphemous thoughts. They questioned if they weren’t created perfectly - which of course they were. It made it seem as if they weren’t - which of course they weren’t. 

But then, if they were so perfect, how had it come to this? Laying on what had to be the burnt buildings of the one human who started everything. If angels were so perfect, then why could they fall? Why could they become demons? Why did sin tempt them? Why were they allowed to be tempted by mere human emotions? Why had she been tricked by them?

Why had she been turned into one of them? One of the enemies despite being such a dedicated follower.

It was just one mistake. It had just started with one bad decision.

And before she knew it, Dami had begun to tear up. It was a strange sensation crying. It felt both relieving and distressing at the same time. Maybe now she was starting to understand why humans strayed off their path even when all the signs pushed them somewhere else. It was so hard. It was so hard to live and not just to exist. It was so hard to be breathing and pulsing with life and it was so hard to just be.

Maybe, just maybe, she could start to see that what she had learned and been taught by her peers, was not all there was to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *checks date* so... 5 days huh? Just a bit... just a teeny weeny bit late... haha.... ha..... oh god.  
> The longer it went past the 'deadline' the more I went "well, there's no point in updating it anymore"....  
> Honestly, I have no idea when I'll update this because half of it is a steaming pile of bad but also the other half isn't and it's conflicting?? I am emotionally crippled these days so... When will it update? Who knows. I am determined to finish this story even if it finishes by the end of this decade or more!
> 
> I did recently finish a one-shot draft though, so that'll be posted soon (whatever soon means)... so yay me?
> 
> And the worst part was the comments :(, I read them all and I so desperatle wanted to reply to them but I'm a big coward irl and just knowing that I wasn't going to continue I felt bad just commenting as normal before ghosting... so... ummm... I think I'll get to replying to them soon but I don't think I have the courage to look back a my older chapters let alone the comments and the collective disappointment of not updating for *checks date again*... 1 month... and 11 days... (Gryffindor is NOT my house if you can tell)
> 
> It's not even 2K words :')), the disappointment......


	22. Trainee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A timeskip and a half later, we catch up with half of our main cast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooooooooooo!  
> How much did y'all miss me? Cause I missed you guys so much
> 
> have fun reading, this one's shorter than average but let me get into the swing of things, updates will be soporadic from now on, probably spiking for a week and then dying down and rinse and repeat.

Yubin sat alone in a cafe, tapping her fingers on the countertop incessantly. She was late. Expecting this to happen though, she sighed and checked her phone, it had been an hour or so since she had last received, ‘I’m on my way!’, which obviously meant that she would have to wait another fifteen minutes or so. However, judging by the jingle of the bell and the loud huffing and puffing, fifteen minutes would mean now.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” Her eyes follow the brunette who had just dramatically opened the door all the way to her table - which already had its order placed and was waiting patiently to be consumed.

“It’s okay,” smiled Yubin, “I expected as much.”

The chair in front of her was moved in a rush, causing it to screech horribly against the wooden floor. “That’s not very nice of you.”

“I’ve never met such an organised mess such as you, you know?” Gahyeon rolled her eyes, then burst into a huge grin as she laid her eyes onto the fruit tart in front of her.

She elegantly ignored the jab made at her and focused her attention onto the light dessert in front of her. “For the record, I’m not late, you’re early.”

Laughing at her stupid sense of logic, Yubin leaned forward and finally began to sip onto the hot chocolate she had desperately been waiting to drink but had restrained from in order to not be rude (although one would argue that showing up late was quite rude in and of itself, but that was beside the point).

"Anyway, what was so important that you had to delay meeting your favourite sister?" Yubin placed her slightly sipped cup down and raised an eyebrow at Gahyeon.

A cheeky smile went across her face, "My only sister.” She shot a glance at her before seating herself down in an orderly fashion. “Well, you, know, my best friend went through a break up and my other friend's just found out that she was adopted: just your average teenage drama."

Yubin whistled lowly, caught off guard by the nonchalant way that Gahyeon had explained everything, "That does seem like quite the reason to be late. And which friends were they?"

"Well…" started Gahyeon as she lifted her fork, "I don't actually know."

"You don't know?" She exclaimed.

"She's just an acquaintance at work I see once a week! You can't expect me to know her name! Besides, she's kind of annoying." Huffed Gahyeon before she took a bite.

Placing her cup down, Yubin focused on the warm radiating from the cup and drew in a short breath to catch a whiff of the cocoa. It always managed to calm her down, even in moments where calming down wasn’t exactly required - such as right now. “Of course she is.” Yubin shook her head. Turning her head from the hot chocolate to the window, she basked in the morning sunlight, however blinding it could be in the early hours of the day.

Oh how far mortal life had changed for her.

To say that the little time she spent with Handong had humbled her on her opinions of humans was an understatement. Maybe emotions, especially her own, were not something to take lightly of anymore. That was certainly one lesson she could take away from her experience with the temperamental witch. There were certainly more things she had learned, but to summarise, that would be the most important thing that she had learnt in her lifetime. Yes: emotions may feel like shit, but they are there for a reason, be it biological or otherwise. After all, humans were social creatures, and in times where there were no objectivity, emotions would lead the way, such as when she let hers lead the way; which was, ironically, a pretty bad time. But that was only because she had ignored them for so long though, Yubin waved off. If she ever came to like someone again, which was unlikely, she was definitely going to make the first move.

But she was digressing, Yubin looked over to Gahyeon, who had finished the tart and quietly waiting for signal to leave the now cramped cafe. Sighing, knowing that she would never be that direct, Yubin asked if she wanted to leave, which was received very well and they left, the bill already having been paid when Yubin ordered.

Gahyeon sat next to her in the front of the car, and buckled up. Peering over at her, Yubin realised that she was not only moving her left hand to a 4/4 beat, but her left hand was drawing a triangle in the air to practice her timing. Gosh she really did throw herself at everything she did, that was one thing Yubin could admire about her little sister. Well, ‘little sister’, considering that Yubin was supposedly her mother, she looked far too young to fulfil that role. Age problems aside, Yubin thought it would just be more comfortable that way, she didn’t want to give herself that much power in their relationship. She shuddered at the thought of what more power could corrupt her into again.

She was never going to entrust herself with any authority figure for the rest of her mortal life.

“What time does your lesson start again?”

Gahyeon hummed with no sense of urgency, “I don’t know, around one or something.” Knowing that she’d do this again, Yubin check her mental notes and saw that they had around two minutes spare if they were to rush with no traffic right about now - plus, she could do some speed boosting with her demonic powers if need be, not that she’d ever need to, because she was sure that she’d make it in time. Being late was not a thing that Yubin was known for.

“One?” She reaffirmed, to which Gahyeon nodded and started to fish through her bag for her notebook. Yubin looked down and checked the clock on her car. “It’s going to be one in a few minutes you know.” She smiled, awaiting the shock and look of despair etched onto her sister’s face.

Doing a double take, Gahyeon stared at Yubin with an open mouth, “Now?” Yubin nodded, already shifting the gears to prepare herself to drive faster than she normally would. “How badly would you be fined for speeding?”

Shaking her head, Yubin assured Gahyeon they’d make it in time, “I’m a speed demon Gahyeon, we’ll be there in no time flat.”

The only response she got was the rolling of her eyes, “Yeah, speed demon my ass, we better reach there in time.”

.  
.  
.

A sigh filled the empty apartment that Yubin had just barely been able to afford, even with some financial help with Gahyeon’s temporary job. That also didn’t account for the food, utilities and the piano lessons she was taking; which for some reason, the transaction hadn’t gone through for a week or so, so she was anticipating that she’d face a lawsuit or a fine from them soon; or at the very least, a very angry email.

On the flipside, someone had recently quit from the bar she was working at, so she was able to squeeze in more hours into the week, earning them a hefty few more digits for the time being - until hr boss decided to hire another person after some inevitable complaints about working too many shifts from her work colleagues.

That was another thing to worry about, which was exactly what Yubin needed to have right now.

Besides the ever growing financial strain she was under, she also had to increasingly wonder what Gahyeon was going to do post uni. A thing about being an idol or a singer had come up once or twice. But for that to happen, they’d have to wait a few more weeks, possibly months for companies to even say that they were recruiting more trainees. Plus, Yubin was hesitant about the whole idol world. It seemed… not the kindest. Hopefully she’d be able to find a good company before Gahyeon did what she did best and decided to do her own thing and sign under Pledis or something.

Flipping her laptop open and getting herself comfortable, not that she feasibly could with the plastic chair she was sitting on, Yubin scoured the internet for possible companies that were not only willing to have new trainees, but also weren’t too corrupt and also didn’t have a terrible contract pre and post-debut.

Suffice to say, it was very hard. 

In the end, she decided to call up on several agencies and settled in on Happyface Entertainment. They didn’t seem too bad, though she’d inspect the company herself and more thoroughly once she got Gahyeon’s approval to.


End file.
